"By excluding our children, you have chosen to exclude us"...

She was rude - I understand that she is upset, but truthfully that letter she wrote would say enough about our relationship to me and I'd start keeping my distance (yes people who don't believe me, I would, because I've done it, to my brother)

Your response is perfect. She had no right to write that letter and guilt trip you for the way you want your wedding to be. I can't believe how many people are saying she is right. A step-sister being invited to a wedding is ENTIRELY different then a niece and nephew. Plus, they could have still traveled, asked for a baby sitter recommendation from you and or family members (therefor eliminating the excuse people are saying about leaving them with a stranger) and gone to the wedding if they had really wanted to be there. End of story.

You know it's funny when people like Melissa say people with children can act so entitled what do you think all you brides are doing........ Just saying.

I believe brides can act entitled, as it is their special day with their FH. They are "entitled" to their vision.

When the parents of those children renew their vows, then they will be "entitled" to make thier own rules.

JZ I do think your response was very appropriate. I understand were you are coming from as well as your step sister's view. I however am a first time bride and can not wait to have kids be a part of our wedding. I feel they are the most fun. But it is my wedding my rules, as is to each their own. :]

Her vagina. Her decision to have kids.

Your wedding. Your decision NOT to have kids.

JZ-while your step sisters letter was uncalled for, I agree with her 100%. This is your niece and nephew for crying out loud. This is what I don't get with all the "adult receptions" and "it's MY DAY" bullcrap. My cousin did this to me. My ONLY cousin, which we were raised together and were VERY close married this total B*&ch who called and advised their wedding was going to be adults only. I didn't say anything to her, just checked the "NO" on the RSVP, caught hell from my aunt because I wouldn't leave my 2 small children over 1,000 miles away, and didn't give them a gift. I no longer speak to my cousin, and neither does anyone in our family because of their (her) decision.

As for the other two children in your wedding, I don't understand why they are so welcome to be "props" for your ceremony and probably to make your pictures pretty, but their services are no longer needed at the fun part of the wedding.

Edit to add-My wedding was well over $500 per PERSON, and there was no ay we were not nviting nephews, nieces, cousins, etc. They are FAMILY.

She's wrong; you're right.

Someone decided to have kids. That was THEIR choice. They don't belong everywhere.

JZ - this is Michelle - who will do a background check of the future bride and groom for any invitation she receives.

OTW, right. You want to have kids? Have them. We love them. It doesn't mean that you should feel that they belong everywhere. They don't. If you can't (or won't) leave them out of some social events, then as a parent, you are making a choice to turn those events down too.

Trying to guilt couples who do not want kids at their wedding is inappropriate. You made a choice; accept the consequences.

@OTW- it is only because of certain people on these WW boards who are content with lying to family and friends and dupe people into thinking they are going to a wedding when it isn't a wedding. Not gonna spend potentially thousand of dollars to attend a play. Thanks for the intro though. Very classy.

JZ, WOW!!!! I'm sorry she's being that way!!! TBH, seeing how much you're paying per plate, I wouldn't want kids there either! I'm not gonna pay that much money for a kid to throw in the trash. I'm too anti waste. The leftovers from our buffet style reception (including leftover cupcakes) are going to my sister for my niece's 2nd birthday party the next day.

Go watch Magic Mike, Michelle. It sounds like you may need it.

Stop liking your own comments michelle

Nieces and nephews are family. Okay, yes.

So what? Just because someone is family doesn't mean you are required to include them everywhere (and, frankly, as they are the children of her stepsister, that's a pretty tenuous relation). I'm not inviting my father or anyone on his side of the family to my wedding. I'm under no obligation to.

OP, while I can understand your sister being annoyed her kids aren't invited, I also understand that it is your wedding, you have a specific vision for what it will be (and that is not a kid-friendly environment by any means...not to mention that they'd be bored out of their skulls), and you are absolutely in the right here. You don't have to make exceptions for anyone, and your stepsister sounds about as mature as a 9 or 11 year old.

Omg i swear girls here act like having children are a wedding sin! Its family we are talking about not a friend of a friends kids! I dont understand if your set on not inviting them why did u post it? Do u want opinions or people to just agree with you. If your sister was rude for sending the letter what does that make you for posting it on a public site?

Anyone saying that because stepsister is flying across the country, this should have been expected/is wrong/blah blah... My MOH and her husband (and her parents and her sister) are flying to an entirely different country to attend our wedding and leaving the kids at home. And it was their choice.

Get to know your neighbors so you can do mutual favors for each other, yeesh.

@FutureMrsPrada - A lot of people don't like to mix children and alcohol. That doesn't mean they think children at a wedding is a sin, but it does change the type of wedding that you want to have. Saying adult only, is totally acceptable - we are having a ring bearer - he is leaving after the ceremony (his mother's choice) because she wanted him to not be the only kid at the wedding where adults were going to be drinking and partying all night.

Also, IMO just because you love children, or want children at your wedding, doesn't mean other people want the same thing. I love my friend's baby but I don't want to deal with him all the time and certainly not on my wedding day, because he cries all the time and makes a huge mess wherever he is - because *drum roll* he is one and that is what one year olds do.

Ugh. That letter is totally ridiculous. I totally see why someone would decline and I generally thinks neices and nephews are a little different then other children but that's a personal choice and easy for me to say since I have no neices or nepherws. She's way out of line.

I will NEVER understand why parents are itching to have their children at a wedding. My parents always left us at home with a babysitter or we went to my grandma's for a weekend (three hours away) because my parents wanted to have a good time!

Seriously, they cut the cord when you had the child. Don't spend the rest of their lives trying to sew it back on.

I don't think it is totally because the parents don't want to leave their kids, it is parents don't want to travel long distances and leave their kids with a sitter to attend a family event. I almost always leave my kids with the sitter to attend weddings of colleagues because they are local. Even when my kids are invited I choose to leave them home.