Devoted June 2013

Bachelor party limits

Kristen, on November 5, 2012 at 3:05 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 64
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I just talked to my fiance's best man and he was telling me about what his plans were for the bachelor party. He mentioned drinking, a Celtics game, and even something about a stripper! I'm curious, do you ladies have any limits on what your fiance can or can't do on that night? Or vice versa?


  • Alicia
    Dedicated January 2013
    Alicia ·

    I told him to do what he wants. Now my FH has made it very clear he wants nothing to do with strippers or strip clubs.

  • Marlina A.
    Master September 2013
    Marlina A. ·

    Ooooooo this is gonna be a good one

    I told my FH there better not be a "the hangover" incident.

    His best man wants to do Vegas and I said NOOO WAYY! LOL but it reality he can do what he wants. He'll let me do what I want too.

  • Ryan
    VIP July 2010
    Ryan ·

    No limits set here...I wouldn't have married a man whose idea of fun was watching other women get naked. His groomsmen were all men who either share or seriously respect his (our) values, and would never have put him in a position to have to set "limits."

  • Kristen
    Devoted June 2013
    Kristen ·

    Lol I figured it was a good question. I really am curious! I don't think my fiance would be into the stripper idea, he's not that kind of guy. I'm pretty much letting them do what they want with that being said, and vice versa.

  • Anonymous
    VIP October 2012
    Anonymous ·

    My DH went to Heavenly Bodies (if you're in Chicago, you've heard of it), they don't get naked or anything like that.. they dance around... It's nothing fancy.. And they did that after golf and dinner with drinks. I completely trust him and didn't mind. He doesn't find much interest in that stuff anyway and that was the first time he went since we started dating 5+ years ago... I didn't mind!

  • Marlina A.
    Master September 2013
    Marlina A. ·

    Lol @ Amy

  • Kristen
    Devoted June 2013
    Kristen ·

    LOL I completely agree with you Amy V.

  • Mrs. Wise
    Super January 2012
    Mrs. Wise ·

    Honestly FH didnt even want a bachelor party he wanted us to have ours together and do something fun but his best man who is also his cousin and my moh both disagreed and said we have to have a bachelor and bachelorette party separately.. FH's Best man is married and they have been for 5 years and none of them are interested in strippers, they are planning on going to yosemite and just camping and drinking for a few days. so I am not worried about it at all. FH wanted to rent two rvs one for the girls and one for the guys and drive up to Canada then meet there and party but idk it sounds really pricey.

  • J. L. D.
    Dedicated August 2012
    J. L. D. ·

    I'm with Amy V.

    But DH had his bachelor party the night before the wedding, so there were definitely some limits set. I did not want him showing up still drunk/completely hung over to our ceremony. Unfortunately, I found out about the strip club at our reception while we were talking to our photographers, so that was a bit uncomfortable. (Luckily I couldn't get too mad because they went to the club just to see a buddy that worked there, and only stayed for a couple of drinks. Plus the women were nasty from what I heard, and one of the guys paid the stripper to get away from him.)

  • Jessica
    Master July 2012
    Jessica ·

    "No insertion" was the only rule we had... and a joke rule at that. I don't mind if my FH, or hubby, goes out to a strip club with his friends for a bachelor party. I've known him for years, and it's not like it's a constant occurrence... actually the only times he's gone to a strip club during our relationship was either for a bachelor party or I was also with him.

    My MOH had a male-dancer come to our hotel room for my bachelorette party, so I was definitely in no position to say no-way-jose to my hubby. But, also I trust him not to do anything to cross that line (and IMO, looking and cheering isn't crossing the line) and I trusted my girlfriend who was his Best Ma'am, to throw a bachelor party that wouldn't strain our relationship.

    I don't think it's fair of girls to say "NO!" without good reason... Of course, I also don't think it's right of FH or FH's friends to purposely plan a party that crosses the lines determined by the couple.

  • Michelle
    Master August 2013
    Michelle ·

    I think we will end up having a dual bachelor/bachelorette party. FH wants to go golfing with his buddies and meet up later for the party (MOH wants to rent a house boat.)

    I would have no problem with him watching strippers; though he says he wouldn't want one anyways (he has never been to the strippers.) I do have a problem with touching and any sort of foul play. Honestly, I think more harm can be done if the guys go out to a dance club and get plastered. I have been to bars where a bachelor party came in, and half the guys were sucking face with girls on the dance floor.

    Most strippers aren't doing it because they are horny and want to hook up. Most have strict "no touching rules" - when FH watched porn it is pretty much the same thing.

    We won't be having strippers at the party, because I would rather we spent our money on booze and food.

  • NowI'mMrs.B.
    Super April 2013
    NowI'mMrs.B. ·

    My FH can do what he wants. I'm sure his BM will make sure that strippers will be there. I told him as long as he keeps his willy in his pants it's all good with me. He should be able to enjoy himself just like I will at my bachelorette party.

  • Ms. M
    VIP December 2012
    Ms. M ·

    Nope, no limits at all. I completely trust him and I'm leaving HIS party up to him and his GMs.

  • In Love with a Valley
    Expert March 2013
    In Love with a Valley ·

    FH and I are really laid back and our values are rather traditional. He doesn't drink at all and both of us hold sex and intimacy as something sacred. Our parties will be the equivalent of a high school sleepover and that's the way we both like it. No he-said/she-said the next morning, no hangovers, and no worry.

  • Bad Wolf ..
    Super May 2013
    Bad Wolf .. ·

    FH's friends are taking him to Vegas and I am also going to Vegas with my girlfriends on a different weekend.
    I want him to have fun just like I will. And I am pretty sure there will be a strip club and male review in both of our futures. Which is fine. We aren't the cheating type. We are adults and we trust each other. And we are both going to have awesome weekends!

  • MJ
    Master June 2013
    MJ ·

    I don't think the parties should be the night before the wedding. Hungover for pictures is not good.

  • Tiffany M. ( Tiffany P.)
    Master August 2012
    Tiffany M. ( Tiffany P.) ·

    The only limits I told his best man and other groomsmen is: nothing illegal and nothing permanent i.e. tattoo.

    The bachelor party ended up being them going go-karting, though my DH had to wear a dress and wig (to look like Princess Peach-Super Mario), then they had dinner at a Brazilian Restaurant, went to a pub for lots of drinks and then went to the strippers. I had no problem with any of it. My DH has been to numerous bachelor parties before we met and has gone to a few since we met and will be going to some in the next few years. I don't have a problem with strip clubs, been to a few myself. I trust my DH.

  • Pan
    Master March 2012
    Pan ·

    Neither of us ended up having one, but I've told him from the start he can do whatever he wants, but he knows my feelings on strippers, physical contact with the opposite sex, and how a certain level of intimacy should only be between us, and if he chooses to cross those lines to remember lawyers are cheap where we live. I'm a firm believer of if you're getting married you're not single. Your last hurrah better not be after we got into a committed relationship. Plus it's kind of BS to seek out other women/men right before you say I do/I will to the forsake all others part if you're doing traditional vows IMO. Plus strippers are a waste of money. Hell no he better not be giving our hard earned money to some other woman for getting naked! Waste of money.

  • Mrs. Lemmon (Amy H.)
    Master March 2012
    Mrs. Lemmon (Amy H.) ·

    We didn't have any he knew when to say ok things are going in the wrong direction. plus I knew the BMS wife would flip sit if they went to the strip club

  • Angela T.
    Expert October 2013
    Angela T. ·

    We haven't talked about limits yet. Neither one of us is into strippers (he says it's like taking a fat man to a buffet and telling him he can't eat). Plus my step-mom already invited herself to his party because she's just that way. Not sure if she'll egg him on or hold him back Neither one of us is big into partying so I'm not worried.

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