Bachelor party limits

The last time my FH went to a strip club was for a bachelor party...he was texting me the whole time saying how lame it was, wishing he was home with me haha

He said I have better "girls" than the strippers! Gotta love him

My FH and I are not having bachelor/bachelorette parties. We just are not partiers(:

So we chose not to do it, and there's no worries.

No strippers lol. Period. But it really isn't needed because 1. neither of us enjoy going to strip clubs. 2. We havent been single for a very,very long time. We don't need a last night of freedom lol. Honestly I dont know what we will do, probably just go out with friends and have fun as a group. Our best man and MOH are married anyways...so that works lol.

Mines not into strippers. However his friends are all coming from out of state to be with him. I know he will respect me. So I figure I'll let him be.

I dont have limits. Truth be told, I have no respect for woman that get naked for money. I feel that there are millions of other ways to make money that dont include degrading yourself as a woman. Hubby respects my views. We dont even watch porn together. If he does have strippers than thats his choice. Me on the other hand, my party will consist of camping on the dunes and drinking some beer.

Just asked FH his thoughts on a bachelor party and he says "They are stupid, one last hoorah? Why would you get married then if you need one more hoorah? They don't help your marriage at all." hahahahha

so there you go perfect answer for me.

I am marrying a man, not adopting a child. He has his own limits of what he can and can not do. He has his own moral compass. We have been living together for four years. He is not single and neither am I. He can do what he wants without permission or denial from me.

I think if you cannot trust your man to go out with his friends you should not be marrying him. I see a strip club just as I see bars and things, its fine on occasion, women always have their boobs hanging out and I know if anyone touches him hell walk away. I know he will not doing anything that will disrespect us. When he goes to bars, or at the gym, at work. Women always hit on him, he hides nothing. He will tell me, no secrets, no hiding.

To set limits is like saying you believe hes like a child and needs to be watched over. Honestly its not that big of a deal to me. He deserves the right to not have to be embarassed and say my mommy, er wife, says Im not allowed to go there.

Why embarass him, and also most friends dont care and would take him anyways. If youre that insecure dont get married!

My husband runs with an exceptionally geeky crowd, all of whom are as faithful as the day is long, so I didn't need to say anything-- I figured they'd go look at some strippers and that'd be it. And I was right.

This has been said before, it's not just about trust, it's about respect. Regardless of the behind reasoning, many women see a problem w/it. If a FH respects his FW, he wont put himself in a position (ie going to strip club) to hurt her. Religious reasons, past betrayals, etc all valid reasons why strip clubs would be off limits. It really is about respecting those boundaries. If those are set as boundaries on a daily basis that arent to be crossed, Bachelor party does not excuse a FH for breaking them. If anything, BECAUSE he's about to commit his whole life to a woman, this is the most pertinent time for him to keep steadfast to those boundaries. My belief, you stopped being single the day you proposed to me, if you need a last fling, you shouldnt be marrying me. Also, my personal boundaries have been there the day FH met me, & they arent changing just cuz of a "special night"

Michele: you're right his friends will probably try to do it anyways. But think of this: if there's boundaries in the relationship, strip club off limits, FH is well aware & is SUPPOSED to respect that, his friends respect him right, otherwise they wouldnt be friends. Well if said friends do it anyway, not only are they betraying their friendship, but they're putting FH in a terrible position with his new bride. What kind of friends would do that? A-holes that shouldnt be friends. For me, FH is well aware if his friends interfere, it's me or them. Controlling, insecure, call it what you wish, but he understands & respects. If he doesnt like it, the door's been there the whole time, noone holds a gun to his head to marry me.

Also, it's embarrassing to him that he's told no? Is it not embarrassing to the women if her FH knows she's against it & he does it anyway?

Okay, so why do so many women who are okay with their FH/DH going to strip clubs feel that every other woman needs to feel the same or they don't trust their SO, and they have a right to tell people not to get married? Who made you queen?

I would never be okay with DH purposely putting himself in a position where another woman took her clothes off and shook her tits in his face. If he was somewhere and a girl did take her clothes off I would trust and expect him to remove himself from the situation and wouldn't be mad, since he couldn't have predicted it. A strip club I feel is the same as the first scenario. It's on purpose. You're going to an establishment that exists only for women to take their clothes off. It's just as disrespectful to me as if he purposely sought a woman who wasn't a stripper out for a striptease. I wouldn't just say "Oh you didn't have sex so it's ok. It's harmless fun."

Why and how does money being involved magically transform it into a completely different situation? It's the same situation. Strippers just get paid.

I didn't have to set limits because:

A: My now husband has never and will never set foot into a strip club.

B: I am and will always be the only woman he sees in that manner.

and

C. We hold sex and intimacy very sacred and meant only for our spouse.

So instead, my H bachelor party consisted of go-karts, paintball, and BBQ.

Just curious... To the people who say they don't mind strip clubs because it is no different than watching porn because they are just looking at girls getting naked... Have you by any chance ever been in a strip club when there is a bachelor party there?

Because I have and there is NOT only looking going on. Every time, what I've seen is the groom getting on stage and sitting in a chair while a stripper or strippers dance ALL over him... Grinding in his lap, boobs and ass in his face... At one, they had the groom get DOWN TO HIS BOXERS before they did all this.

I would be absolutely, 100% NOT OKAY with that. And this is the reason why I told him I am not okay with strip clubs. He feels they are uncomfortable and a waste of money, but I still can't help but worry his guys will take him to one anyway. I suppose we'll see.

FH and I have talked about this and he has said clearly that his strip club days are over, and he has no desire to go to one for his bachelor party. He told me one time, he was at a club while one was going, and the girls beat the crap out of the guy. I didn't ask for details, because I didn't want to know, so I'm not sure if it was complete S&M or what.

That said, I would ask that he not go to one for his bachelor party - not for any other reason than I am simply not comfortable with it. End of story. It has nothing to do with trusting him or not. In no way do I think he will get the strippers number, take her home and do whatever to her, or whatever it is that constitutes "cheating." If he wants to do something for his bachelor party that I've already told him doesn't make me comfortable, then I think we have bigger issues.

Pan - I completely agree with you. It is totally about respect. If they went to a regular bar and some chick got naked and climbed in his lap and put her boobs in his face, and he just sat there and let it happen, every woman here would be LIVID and for some it would be grounds for divorce. So, why is it different just because it's a stripper? "Because I know he's not going home with the stripper"? Well what if he didn't go home with the random bar chick? It's okay then? NO. This is a weird double standard I will never understand and apparently to some that makes me crazy and controlling but so be it.

I am going to make DH watch a strip club scene from Magic Mike and say "If you go to a strip club, so will I". $100 says he would not be okay with the idea of a sexy guy in a g-string grinding on or in front of me.

EdieKristen: your idea about M.M. - I did that! Just to drive my point home (didnt need to buy I worry about the bachelor thing constantly) I told him about the movie, he was like ok I wouldnt care about it. So I SHOWED him the movie, he was gawking & I said, this is just a movie, they do more in person. He said, I dont want you on another guy like that. EXACTLY!

I'm with Jessica L. We have talked and he will be going to a strip club for his. I have no idea what we are doing for mine. But I have told him we may go to one too. I did that just to see what he would say becuase I have no iterest in going to a male strip club. I don't like them. But he was fine with it. So we trust each other to do the right thing.

We talked as well fh will be having strippers his choice I trust him just no penetration, no kissing and come home to me i'm good to go most of his gm are married all but 2 and one is 19 .