Asking for Cash Isn’t Tacky!

View Quoted Comment FH told me this too. Originally I was going to not say anything about a small registry or a donation fund and let people figure it out but he was like Heck No! That’s how you end up with junk! And his mom is super traditional so she said if she didn’t know what to get us, she wouldve guessed. No thank you! I have a picky sense of style and I don’t want 50 wedding frames. Lol I want people to know we prefer money but there is a gift option as well.

It is tacky and always will be. I think it's just another example of how people feel entitled to do what they want, get what they want and ask for whatever they want.

View Quoted Comment I never made a registry or asked for money.
When we started planning my wedding my aunt decided that we should do a money tree not me.
So one of my guests already expects to give money and sees it as ok

View Quoted Comment So real and so true!! Thank you for your post!!

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This is untrue - patently so. It has nothing to do with your economics and all to do with how you were raised.

A child can grow up poor and be taught etiquette and know that certain things are rude.

A child can grow up rich and be taught to have little regard for money and not understand that talking or asking for money is rude - because everyone has it.

children from lower socioeconomic backgrounds are less like to ask people for money simply because the understand feel that to look like a begger is shameful and feels that way. If you grow up poor than you know you spend 98% of your time trying to look and pretend and act like you arent.

And just because YOUR social circle has little regard for etiquette doesn't make it the norm. However - you seem to have things backwards. Rich people don't discuss money because they dont have to - poor people WONT discuss money because they know it looks bad, and sounds bad and is rude and tacky and makes you look like you're asking for handouts.

View Quoted Comment Frankly I hate getting cash out to gift at a wedding. It's also a pain to write a check. Then I have to run to the store and buy a card to stuff it into. Such a hassle. I love cash registries because I get the option to accomplish the same thing electronically without buying a card. I just don't understand why people who want to give cash or a check would change their behavior (give less or not at all) because they spot a cash registry on a wedding website.

View Quoted Comment Of course I feel entitled to anything I want!! Nail on the head, you’re a genius. (:

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Love. Love. LOVE this response!

View Quoted Comment Agreed! Thank you!

"People, (on this site) get soooo caught up in whats "proper" and "following etiquette" that they forget that actual real people attend these weddings."

Real people have always attended weddings and what is "proper" and "following etiquette" will never go out of style.

I am getting remarried this fall, kids are in college. I am not registering nor will I let the word "cash" or "money" or any hint of that get out. In fact, my sister said "People are asking what to get you." My response: "Nothing, just please show attend." I would find it horrifying (yes, horrifying) to say, "Well, Sister, since we have a home tell people a few Benjamins would be great!"

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And I have to find my check book! Its probably in a drawer...somewhere... I can't remember the last time I actually wrote a check. I pay all my bills online. I'm paying all my wedding bills online! Its just so much easier.

And maybe there is a fee, but there is also a cost in buying a checkbook or getting cash out.

And you can still give a card with a heart felt note! I might not know where my checkbook is, but I do know exactly where all my card collection is! I LOVE heartfelt notes. You can give a card and give money electronically!

I am not having a registry just because we have lived together for 3 years and have everything we need. Why am I going to register for stuff I don't need nor want.. Is that rude?

Im a wedding planner and i always tell my brides not to do this. It is very tacky yes i understand couples live together and people want to have a shower. The best thing to do is not register your guests will then know you would like cash. But you will still geta few people who are older and will not give cash.

View Quoted Comment Of course not! Do what y’all wanna do!

Thank you! I just posted asking about this subject and the response has been overwhelmingly negative. I don't see how saying we could use some money for bla bla bla is presumptuous and rude but asking for really expensive china isn't?

View Quoted Comment A thousand times THIS. 🙌🏼

View Quoted Comment RIGHT? Honestly I’d feel more weird asking for a $300 vacuum than for cash!

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Yes, yes, yes!! You are SO spot on with this!

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I didn't say it goes out of style. I said it changes. Weddings have always been evolving celebrations.

And everyone has the bits of etiquette that they feel passionately about, don't get me wrong, I have my quirks and etiquette that I cling to.

No one is suggesting you HAVE to ask for cash, if people are asking if they CAN give you something its because they WANT to. And there are probably some of those people who will bring you cash anyway. And I hope you still send them a thank you card and are grateful for the gift.

ETD: Also thanks to everyone quoting and agreeing! Glad to see I'm not alone....

FH and I created a honeymoon registry for two reasons. One: we've lived together for quite a while and have everything we could ever need, and more. And no, we do not want to upgrade anything. If it ain't broke, don't fix it lol. And two: we are moving out of state about a month after the wedding and we are literally selling ALL of our possessions. Everything. The only things we are keeping are 1 out of 3 of our cars, a few clothing items, and our cats (obvi lol). So if we got physical gifts, we would literally just sell them right along with the rest of our stuff. We love the idea of giving our guests the option to help out with our honeymoon. And if they don't want to, they don't have to. It's really as simple as that.