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Devoted June 2019

Asking for Cash Isn’t Tacky!

Jessica, on February 20, 2018 at 2:31 PM

Posted in Planning 202

I just see this sentence thrown around a lot and I have been to two weddings now where they kindly explained that they had no registry due to such and such reason. One explained that they were planning on backpacking for several months following the wedding and they didn’t have much use for any items! Another said something along the lines of “If you want to give we would appreciate help in our future lives together.”
Neither came off tacky because I knew they and knew their hearts and that they were simply saving their guests from buying them an electric mixer their aunt figured they wanted and that they already own.

To each their own, but I just want to put that out there because I think it gets shot down before it’s heard sometimes.

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202 Comments

Devoted June 2019
Jessica · on February 20, 2018 at 10:24 PM
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Totally agree with this post! Good on you!
Devoted June 2019
Jessica · on February 20, 2018 at 10:27 PM
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That is why! I also think demonizing one thing over another never does well for anyone.

(and not to side track but my parents actually begged to do my catering for me, because they hate not helping at an event, and they’ve catered three weddings before! Lol)
Devoted June 2019
Jessica · on February 20, 2018 at 10:32 PM
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Lol your obvious kindness aside, I think your logic is flawed.
Giving a gift at all is not a donation, obviously- the idea that someone wants to give a gift is a great thing. I don’t see what’s so hard to understand about desiring real experiences with your FS and not a full registry. Instead of getting me an electric mixer when neither of us bake, why don’t you give me a memory?

The request isnt “GIVE LIKE THIS OR ILL HATE IT” it’s “If you want to give, this will be appreciated. no different than a Christmas list or a birthday list or a registry.
Devoted June 2019
Jessica · on February 20, 2018 at 10:34 PM
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Exactly! They’re so up in arms about being asked to give cash. Like if you asked your sister what she wanted and she told you she wants to shop at Sephora, how would that be offensive or poor taste? You were planning on getting her a gift!!

im glad you’re mom steered her away from pressure cooker! (:
Devoted June 2019
Jessica · on February 20, 2018 at 10:36 PM
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Sounds like you just have an issue with anyone having a good time! (:

If someone gives $20 instead of buying Tupperware for my honeymoon and then hates looking and hearing my thank you for their help then God, buy me the Tupperware then if you’re gonna be petty 😂
Devoted June 2019
Jessica · on February 20, 2018 at 10:38 PM
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Good for you and best of luck!!
Devoted June 2019
Jessica · on February 20, 2018 at 10:38 PM
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Quite a few have been flagged and removed! (Including someone who implied that only the lower class wanted cash funds and they had poor taste, lol)
Expert June 2018
Sally · on February 20, 2018 at 10:41 PM
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I don't think there's anything wrong with asking for money instead of doing a registry. I personally did neither and made a poem to let people know we just want the company of all our friends and family to make our day special because we don't need gifts or money. I have had a few people ask if they could still give us money because they want to.
VIP December 2018
Xandria · on February 20, 2018 at 10:46 PM
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I'm kind of glad to hear that...
I've been trying so hard to stay civil. And that woman was something else!
Devoted June 2019
Jessica · on February 20, 2018 at 10:50 PM
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I’m glad too. And i think you’ve been great! Thanks for your help here. You’ve had really great input and reasons.
VIP December 2018
Xandria · on February 20, 2018 at 10:53 PM
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Its been really interesting! I really do like hearing other peoples points of view, even if I'm still not sure why everyone is so concerned with what strangers do.
Devoted June 2019
Jessica · on February 20, 2018 at 10:55 PM
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Same. It’s been fun to watch. But I agree, I don’t get why it’s such a hot topic. I didn’t expect it to blow up to ten pages.
Expert May 2018
J · on February 20, 2018 at 11:06 PM
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That’s an interesting way of looking at it. Personally, I just feel happy for my friend and family when I see on social media that they got to go on a nice trip!
VIP December 2018
Xandria · on February 20, 2018 at 11:11 PM
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I LOVE looking at all the pictures! It gives me a chance to be there with them on their vacation.
I have friends who work at Disneyland, and its just my favorite, they post these amazing pictures all the time!

Also, if people don't make you happy on social media, you can unfollow them. Its really easy. I tend to unfollow people who only post negative things....
Master July 2018
Cuoghi · on February 20, 2018 at 11:16 PM
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YES IT IS!
Devoted June 2019
Jessica · on February 20, 2018 at 11:17 PM
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Lol disagree
VIP September 2018
BB-H · on February 20, 2018 at 11:51 PM
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Yes!! I agree with this
Master July 2018
Cuoghi · on February 20, 2018 at 11:55 PM
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They have them.

Dedicated May 2018
Jennifer · on February 20, 2018 at 11:59 PM
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I am 40 years old. I do not need towels or a mixer. We would like to travel. I did a honey fund registry. Memories will last a lifetime. I consider myself to be a very tactful person. It breaks my heart that other women are imposing judgement on fellow brides.