Asking for Cash Isn’t Tacky!

View Quoted Comment

I'm not "funding" your electric mixer if it's something I know you need for your home (I'm not getting you one if you didn't), If I give you money and you put it towards backpacking, fine, but asking me to fund your vacation, especially when a website takes a percentage of my gift, or I'm giving my CC info to the travel agent, is off putting to me. Have I given to honey funds, yes- before I knew how they worked.

It's more of the idea of people EXPECTING the gift of money, and using weddings as fundraisers. Everyone wants money for something, but i'm not inviting 100 people to my wedding in hopes of funding a trip. If people choose to give us gifts, that's kind of them, I'm not asking our friends or family for money. This may as well be a political issue as some people will never agree, and a post on the internet will not change minds.

My FH and I haven't lived together, so we will be having a registry. That said, all of the weddings we have been to together but one have had a honeymoon fund or a traveling fund, and it hasn't bothered either of us. I'm always so surprised over the strong opinions on this site considering how many couples live together before marriage for a while.

View Quoted Comment

Ok. I mean I get that you don't want to fund my vacation, I guess, I'm not sure why you're so against contributing to someones vacation, but that's your choice.

I guess I just fundamentally don't think anyone is using their wedding as a fundraiser. Its not like you could ever actually even break even if you were "fundraising", I think its mostly a matter of not wanting loved ones to waste money on something you're never (or rarely) going to use.

Also, I know I'm not going to change anyone's mind, and I assume you all know you're not going to change mine, I do like discussing stuff like this, because I like to know what other people think, and how they think. Its a quirk. I sort of thought that's why OP started this thread? We all know WW is never going to agree on anything. (Except maybe don't self cater! Eek).

View Quoted Comment

This..... this entire thread is so embarrassing.

My opinion is if you can't afford a honeymoon on your own... DON'T TAKE ONE. All of these "honeymoon donations, honeyfunds" absolutely make me cringe and want to HURL. We couldn't afford the dream honeymoon we wanted, so we deferred that trip for a year, and did a short state-side honeymoon.

Plus it's not a "donation" these guests don't get a tax write-off for funding your honeymoon.

(vomiting on the inside through this whole thread).

View Quoted Comment

Putting a request for cash, via a "honeyfund" or saying "lieu of gifts we would love money" in any shape or form is an instruction. It is an instruction telling me how to give a gift. Have a Master's, I got this.

"Yes, and that’s the part that cracks me up. The people who think we’re “millenials” demanding things... I don’t see how that’s any different from making a registry? I’m not telling everyone “when you bring a gift make sure it’s a check”! Lol"

Even mentioning a registry in print is tacky. It is not the gift, cash or a boxed gift, it is MENTIONING it at all. People will look you up on on Target, Beth Bath Beyond, Crate & Barrel. We can figure this out.

A bit old-fashioned so I guess I think straight out asking for money is not appropriate. However, as many have pointed out there are more diplomatic ways to let people know that money is appreciated. Why not have your registry be something like amazon.com where you can put an Amazon gift card on your registry? Heaven knows I buy almost everything from that site it would be great to have a gift card on occasion!

View Quoted Comment I like to make things easy for people.

I don’t want anyone to have to figure out anything. It’s why I have driving instructions and ‘formal attire’ on my website.

People register at a million places, are you really going to look up if I’m st target, amazon, bed bath and beyond, REI, Bergdorfs, macy’s Etc etc? I guess I just don’t want people to have to go to all the trouble. All the info they need will be on the website, they can ignore it if they want, but there it is.

View Quoted Comment And I’m not even touching the ‘I have a masters’ comment. I work in the events industry, doesn’t make the expert on all things.

View Quoted Comment

Yes I will look you up or ask, but it is up to me to ask. You don't have to offer. I will absolutely appreciate the directions though.

Veering into arguing, so I am outta this thread. Will keep reading though. Night peeps!

It’s kind of hilarious how people get so offended by this topic. The vast majority of guests who were already planning on giving cash aren’t even going to bother to look at the registry page of the couple’s website. Those who do will be people who were thinking of getting the couple a gift but if the couple has a honeyfund the guests will see they would prefer cash and so they will give cash instead, which is the main purpose of the honeyfund and it’s really not that big of a deal. As an illustration, my 90 year old great aunt was randomly planning on giving us a pressure cooker but asked my mom if she thought it was a good idea and my mom told her that we would prefer cash for our honeymoon and my great aunt thought that was a great idea and wasn’t offended at all because she wanted to give us something that we actually want. That was basically the same thing as having a honeyfund.

View Quoted Comment Totally agree with this. I am in the “asking for cash is tacky” camp, and I’m not a fan of mile-long registries either. But, I know people appreciate registries to give them some guidance when buying a gift. They don’t need guidance on what kind of cash to give. But, whatever...if you still want to ask for cash do it. But there WILL be people who think it’s tacky.

It’s also not at all true that all couples who have honeyfunds can’t afford the trip. They just want to be able to splurge and have a really nice trip for once in their life, especially if they are planning on settling down and having kids. Why is that so bad?

I think it's very rude. You should be appreciative of what anyone finds in their heart to give you.

View Quoted Comment

It's bad because you are asking people who may not be able to afford that dream trip for themselves to help fund the dream trip for yourselves. What's worse is when the couple shares photos of that dream trip on social media. Nothing like shoving a trip others paid for in the faces of those who can't afford the same trip.

Maybe because I have hardly any family (and haven’t ever had) I actually feel awkward giving cash as a gift. I feel weird handing a friend $100 so I strictly stick to the registry because I want to get them something they actually want and/or need. Once these cash registered and honeyfunds started becoming popular, I actually felt WAY better. I want them to have what they want and have always felt like I didn’t care or put effort into a gift by giving cash or gift cards.

Per this forum, I’ll not likely start a cash registry but as a guest, I completely appreciate it!

View Quoted Comment I'm convinced because for me, money IS a gift.

I just think it seems desperate to ask for money. I take the absence of a registry to mean that the couple doesn't need anything specific, and I'll give cash. I'm not going to just randomly pick out a toaster and assume you don't have one. But I also like to think a friend would appreciate a small gift I picked out for them.

I must be tacky too. We both owned our own homes when we met. When we moved into together, we had 2 and 3 of the same things. I.E. Kuricks, block knives set, 2 blenders, etc. We do not need anything. What we need is cash and gift cards for redoing rooms in the house and for the honeymoon. So we yes, we have a cute little poem and a wishing well.

I swear I thought a requirement in the forum was to not call names? I don't like being called TACKY. I think I wanna report a few post here.