Asking for Cash Isn’t Tacky!

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Haha right!? My brother received 6 toasters for his wedding, everyone thought they didn't have one. It stays hidden in a cupboard to free up counter space.

View Quoted Comment The WW website available attaches a registry button to your website, which is where you can have your guests RSVP. Hence everyone will see the link to the registry, shower or not, wedding or not, etc.

View Quoted Comment Haha we do need a lawnmower!!!! 😳😌😝😂

View Quoted Comment Lol nice. I hope they like a lot of toast since they can now make 14 pieces at a time.

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A website is just a place of information.. I do see your point about some people using it for online RSVP but that's not the case for me. Either way - it resides in it's own section of the website. I'm not going to argue about the exact logistics of a website layout but my point is that a gift should not be requested on an invite. The invite is to a reception that says "Thank you for celebrating with us!" It is truly a gift to the guests from the couple, not the other way around. Of course it's generally etiquette to bring a gift as a guest but the couple should never request or address it in their invite, IMO.

I completely understand why people want cash over gifts. But you don't need to ask for it. Just don't make a registry or make a small one - like I said before. People will give cash if they choose to give a gift.

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Well put.....

View Quoted Comment I did not say poor. Don't make up opinions I did not give. Socioeconomics takes in more factors than just money. I grew up extremely poor, but was taught strict etiquette. I know not to ask people for money because it is rude, I didn't understand why when I was younger, but I realize now that taking the power out of gifting from the guests makes them annoyed and more likely to not be generous. How I was raised was by far the minority opinion in the area I come from. Thoughtlessly asking for cash is the norm and unlikely to change.

There is no situation when asking for cash on your own behalf will ever be accepted and welcomed by the vast majority of those of a higher socioeconomic standing.

View Quoted Comment Well it won’t be on my invite (: it’s on the website next to the RSVP in the registry tab. So anyone clicking there already has the intention of getting a gift, right?

I think the phrasing is wrong on the post... It's rude to EXPECT money from your guests. I do not feel it's rude to give guests a direction if they want to. We have already built a life together and have children. On the invitations I worded "in lieu of traditional housewares please feel free to contribute to our honeymoon fund." I don't expect people to give us money. And I certainly will not be offended if someone doesn't give us money or any gift. I would just hate for someone to waste their money on something I won't use. I agree though with the comment that people will figure it out.

View Quoted Comment Wouldn’t it be taking the power out of their giving if I didn’t put an electric mixer on my registry and they were dead set on it? Or if I said we only had a registry at Amazon and not Bed Bath and Beyond?
A registry is for “here’s what we want if you want to give us a gift.” I just see no harm in saying “I don’t need anything that I don’t already have, but we are saving for a car,” or something like that. Then you are giving what they need and not just a toaster because you came to my house and noticed I didn’t have one on the counter.

View Quoted Comment That is what I meant.
i mean, the thought process behind a registry isn’t to expect all of the items, but just to give direction!

i like the way you worded yours!!

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But my original point was why even mention it? If someone has the intention of giving a gift, they will give a gift without you mentioning it.

View Quoted Comment So you’re saying to not even have a registry...?

Somehow I have managed to gift cash at every wedding I've attended in the past 35 years without a "cash registry". I have seen them, even on invites (which is wrong as per etiquette), but I will never use an online website to gift cash as it is not necessary to pay a fee for this (dis)service.

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No.. because as I said before I am not mentioning it. The link will be on an invite from two others who are hosting the event. Of course giving cash is an option. If you've ever been asked for a Christmas gift list or ideas for gifts - do you say "Oh cash is an option!" Like @Wed18 said - people gave cash for years and will continue to give cash without be told or asked to.

View Quoted Comment Lol if someone asks for cash on a website registry you are still welcome to give it in a card instead. Usually an online gift is just more convenient.

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Be careful with that, not sure if you saw my post...but my brother received 6 toasters for not giving guests any direction. I would be upset if I spent my money on a gift 5 other people bought just to have it returned.

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That is exactly what you implied because that's how it comes off to other people when they read that comment - at least for me it did and as someone who grew up close to the poverty line it definitely was insulting to me for you to insinuate that.

Also if you're taking socioeconomics into account those who come from lower income households are less likely to ask for money so they dont "look poor" or look like they are begging. I grew up very close to the poverty line, and I always knew money was something you didn't speak or ask about. All of my friends who grew up in backgrouns similar to mine are much less comfortable discussing and asking for money than anyone I know who grew up well off and treat it with more callousness.

View Quoted Comment Registries are rude in a sense. They have been quietly tolerated, but they don't take away from they whole reason guests started bringing gifts....to set a new family up with home goods. Weddings are not gift giving occasions! Guests started to bring gifts because they knew new couple didn't have basic things to maintain a household. If guests decide they are done with home goods and decide to do cash only then good for them. That is for them to decide...not you.
If everyone had everything they needed and wedding were just about celebrating a couples union, then guests should theoretically bring nothing. They are there to wish the couple well, not provide them with money for a vacations.

View Quoted Comment Lol okay. Just seems a round about way. Everyone knows you made a registry and everyone will want to know what it is.
i figure when someone goes to RSVP they’ll see registry. If they want to/can give that’s where they’d go. There they would see your registry, even if you didn’t mention it!

thats my plan anyways!