Why do I feel so sad?????
i just started the wedding day planning and i feel so overwhelmed. I cant think of the perfect colors, the pinhead FH acts as if this is NOT interesting. All he says is whatever you go with and I'm behind you. Do they ALL act so unconcerned? what can I do to allivate the stress of everything. I want a small reception, is it possible to do that without breaking the bank? I know I'm rambling pls forgive me, just alot of thoughts going...

Married: 05/22/2010
Posted On: Nov 20, 2009 at 1:35 PM • Vendors are allowed • Add to My WatchlistFlag As Inappropriate1 like

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Nov 20, 2009 at 1:41 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Your FH is typical. Some are into it, but most aren't.
That being said, go look at bridesmaid dresses. Find what you like in a color you love. Then, make that your wedding color. It's really hard to pick a color, and then go looking for the perfect dress in that color. Brides change their wedding colors after they go dress shopping all the time. Get dresses first, and everything else will fall into place. The dresses will set the tone for the wedding...casual, formal, elegant, etc... Good Luck!

Married: 05/07/2011
Reviews: 6
Nov 20, 2009 at 1:43 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
We have ALL experienced this! A great way that I have found to take away stress is to involve as many people as possible. If you aren't sure what you want, bounce ideas off of the women here and off your close friends and family. They know you best and will really be able to help you have the wedding you want. Friends and family can also help doing wedding stuff to take stress off of you.

Married: 09/25/2010
Nov 20, 2009 at 1:47 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Aww Elaine, I am feeling your pain mama.

I was engaged on Valentine's Day, everything was so romantic & great, til i actually started to think abt what I really wanted on our big day. Of couse weddings aren't without drama..best friend of 23yrs (who was 2be my Maid of Honor) bailed on me, my father told me he wasn't coming either. I literally put the brakes on the whole shabang. I was totally disinterested, esp. when my mom or my FH would shoot down every idea I came up with.

Wedding plans can be a daunting task..but only if we let it be! Most recently I've had a lot of trouble w/going to venues or looking at colors & feeling like nothing SPEAKS to me..nothing jumps out and says I AM WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR, PICK ME! i feel like every bride around me has those THATS THE DRESS! or THATS THE FAVOR! moments and i'm not having any of them! My advice is, take a deep breath, unite a bit w/the other brides on this site, or weddingbee.com ... it helps to have us to commiserate with!

xoxo :)

Married: 05/14/2011
Nov 20, 2009 at 1:53 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Yes...Most FH are like this...i was discussing different venues and prices with him the other night and he had the nerve to tell me "Whatever you pick is fine. i would rather us have a house than a wedding." I also would like a house but....one step at a time! Welcome to the boat we are all in!

Married: 10/30/2010
Reviews: 13
Nov 20, 2009 at 1:55 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
My FH is removed but I have come to the point where that actually works for me. I get what I want and I don't need o be agravated if he doesn't share my vision.

Married: 09/10/2011
Nov 20, 2009 at 2:01 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
My FH is the exact same way. He always tells me that as long as i'm happy he doesn't care. It gets on my nerves because I want him to care but at the same time I know he cares, he just doesn't do details. Once you get past that and start enjoying the process you will be just fine. I get into ruts where it seems like the wedding is never going to get here and I will never be done planning, but once I have a good cry and a good nights sleep everything seems to be better than the day before. We only get to enjoy this moment while we have it so just take a moment and breathe. This is supposed to be fun, not stressful. All the ladies on here are great and we will help you the best we can. If you are into DIY stuff this is definitely the place to be :-). Just keep your head up!

Married: 05/27/2011
Nov 20, 2009 at 2:06 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
my fh in the begenning was like that "whatever" i dont care" its up to you" if its what you like i like it too" i felt like i was listening to the teacher on the peanuts cartoon!i have found if i pick out a few 3-4 of whatever it is im trying to pick send him the pictures and say i like these 3 cakes you pick 1! and that has worked really well for the most part. and aimeedarling i totally agree with you in the nothing speaks to you. i always say "i like it but....it just dont scream my name!" and when i do its either not doable or WAYYYYYYY out of budget! i wish money grew on trees!

Married: 10/03/2009
Reviews: 6
Nov 20, 2009 at 2:15 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Just keep in mind that us girls have dreamed of our wedding day and the dress, and the flowers, and our hair, and our prince, and...(blah blah you get the point) for as LONG as we can remember! Guys, not so much. Keep him in the loop, but don't expect him to share your glee at finding the perfect favor/shoes/etc. Giving them options between things that you already love works great, and helps to keep the peace. We are always here to listen and ooh and ahh at those little finds with you! :)

yadayada
Married: 10/30/2009
Reviews: 5
Nov 20, 2009 at 2:25 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
You know what, I WISH my FH had been like "whatever" - instead he was a groomzilla, HE was the one who had always dreamed of his wedding day, not me, and he had all these opinions and ideas... that totally conflicted with mine! Once we picked the basics (the venue, our colors) he totally backed off and it was a total relief! I still ran everything by him for approval, just so he felt included but trust me it's better when they are NOT that involved! Just ask your mom or other female family members and friends for their advice, they will probably have a ton of helpful ideas! Also as some others have mentioned you can always bounce ideas off us here too!

Married: 05/22/2010
Nov 23, 2009 at 4:41 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Thank you all so much for your input it really made me feel much better. I told pinhead (LOL) that I would really love for him to be apart of all the planning and he agreed.

ladylee
Married: 06/05/2010
Nov 23, 2009 at 5:00 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Most men are just not into the details. Mine wanted far more guests than I ever wanted. How odd is that? LOL! He told me what colors he was NOT willing to have. Outside of that he's been pretty hands off. He did choose the venues for both the ceremony and reception. And he's handling the honeymoon. We schedule a planning meeting once a month where we discuss the plans, I keep him in the loop and present any questions I have. If he has any "action items" I txt him gentle reminders about a week after the meeting. That way wedding stuff doesn't consume our everyday lives. You might find that your FH will agree to participate more if you agree not to let every conversation end up being about the wedding. It was hard at first. VERY hard lol. But I soon realized that it was for the best. Can't remember the last time we had an argument over wedding stuff. And I try not to work on my DIY projects when he comes over.

Married: 04/09/2010
Reviews: 10
Nov 23, 2009 at 5:07 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
My FH is not involved with any of the planning either. He just shows up to any appointments I make. He's too concerned about C.O.D/video game...haha.
I think you should start thinking of a theme and once you have that, it'll all fall into place. I was pretty stressed out in the beginning too. There are so many DIY things you can do. It'll work out for you and we're all here to help with your decisions!

D&N
Married: 07/24/2010
Reviews: 5
Nov 23, 2009 at 5:10 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I felt the exact same way. I was so depressed and down about the wedding and feeling so overwhelmed. My FH still says that he doesnt care, and I promise it will start to not bother you anymore because you will get what you want, HAHA! There will be a few things he will speak up about. I had to hire a wedding planner because I was making myself sick trying to make decisions for the both of us! It will get better, but then again, he is a man!
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