Big wedding or small wedding… anyone regret their choice?

I have the same question! My fiancé and I are in a very similar situation, trying to decide between having a big, traditional wedding or keeping things smaller and more intimate. We’re also covering most of the costs ourselves, and honestly, it’s been such a tough balance between wanting that once-in-a-lifetime celebration and being practical about our finances.

Like you, I’ve always imagined the big wedding surrounded by family and friends, but when I start adding up the expenses — venue, catering, photography, décor it feels overwhelming. On the other hand, a smaller wedding or even something like a destination or cruise ceremony sounds much more manageable and personal, but I keep wondering if I’d miss out on that “classic wedding” experience.

I have the same question! My fiancé and I are in a very similar situation, trying to decide between having a big, traditional wedding or keeping things smaller and more intimate. We’re also covering most of the costs ourselves, and honestly, it’s been such a tough balance between wanting that once-in-a-lifetime celebration and being practical about our finances.

Like you, I’ve always imagined the big wedding surrounded by family and friends, but when I start adding up the expenses — venue, catering, photography, décor it feels overwhelming. On the other hand, a smaller wedding or even something like a destination or cruise ceremony sounds much more manageable and personal, but I keep wondering if I’d miss out on that “classic wedding” experience.

I went with a smaller wedding and more intimate because of budget. The bigger the wedding the more expensive it will be. It is harder to balance out the things that you want/dream of for your wedding. Try to do the pros and cons and see what is best for you as you plan your wedding. Good luck

First, what kind of vision does your partner want? They may have specific ideas and you two are joint project managers/ event planners and get equal say. Second, you mentioned "debt" but I strongly recommend not putting any vendor payments on credit cards. Some will not even allow this. With your partner, come up with a monthly savings plan over the next 1.5 years and that should be your budget and decider. Discuss a savings plan for your other short-term (5-year) financial plans (home ownership, honeymoon, retirement). Last, it sounds like you already made a choice and have concerns, but best to discuss all with your partner. Once money is spent, there's no time for regrets after.

A couple other thoughts: since most of your guests will travel, you may get 20% declines. Also many on WW noted that when they had large weddings (80+) it was harder to make time to meet with everyone. Decide what is most important to both of you and if choosing smaller, someone else can throw a NJ family reunion. Best wishes.

I personally wanted my wedding at a special place with beach views and we found it but I had to reduce the number of guests because of the price for everything and I’m happy with the choice, it will only be our special people and we feel really happy because next year we are getting married.

Ah, I feel this! We went through the same debate. We chose a smaller wedding so we could start our marriage without extra stress, and honestly, we loved it. But I totally get wanting that big fairytale day too.

This is both our second marriages. My 1st wedding was 10k, 175 guest invited, 75 attended. This time our budget is 5k, 175 guest invited. His 1st was courthouse, he wants bigger, more traditional this time. I'm not caught up in the wedding trends,must haves this time. While 175 is still the number it's not who other people think SHOULD get an invite, it's who we WANT present on our day. (It's not a family reunion!

We’re having a mix!
I’m a DIY bride and my budget is tight. So, we picked on what we want to “splurge “ on and what we can cut back. We splurged on the venue- it’s the only one we both agreed on, we asked a million questions and felt safe and confident with them. I’m crafting the decorations; created my own invitations and found a beautiful dress on Amazon. I’m saving thousands!

We are opting for a small 45 person wedding with just our immediate families! It really came down to looking at both of our personalities, and what fit us both the best. We are both pretty shy and modest. Having a full weekend of activities, constantly on the go and on a tight schedule, juggling vendors, seemed daunting to us.

We are getting married and hosting a luncheon at our church, with cornhole and other games in the church yard! We also are having a local Bluegrass band come and play! Neither of us drink or dance, and honestly our families really don't either. I got a lot of pushback from friends saying I was "taking the fun away" by having a small wedding with no alcohol or dancing. I have also heard I am missing out on my dream wedding. Even though we are opting for something smaller, I am still decorating and making it dreamy!

Another key factor was our budget. We are covering everything on our own. We are also saving money to build our forever home. When it boils down to what is important to us to spend our money on... It's our forever home.

Be smart and go for a smaller more intentional ceremony or reception. The people you think care don’t, and the people who have the best intentions will still let you down. Better to be let down with a full bank account than to be let down and have nothing but a 6 hour event that cause stress and heart ache

I always dreamed of having a big and grand wedding, and I ended up having a small 30ish people wedding and don’t regret a thing.


Like you, my husband and I paid for ALMOST everything ourselves, each working 2 jobs just to make sure we had enough and it was perfect the way it was with intimate family and friends and I loved it.
I definitely say go small and save money and use that money to take care of each other and your newlywed life!

I think you will be fine with a normal size wedding, and if you want to redo your wedding you can always do that as well its no rules on a redo 😉 think smart and most of all do whatever makes you and your spouse happy . Yall have a life time to plan your wedding (the very big wedding lol) hope this helped you 😍

What matters most? If you want the big wedding but aren't confortsbkenwuth the cost maybe find ways ro cut corners. A little less flowers or create bourbon center pieces. Or have a small ceremony and a big reception. But it does start adding up quickly.

I’m in the same boat with planning a wedding. We both have very big families, but you still have to put a budget. what you guys are able to spend and dish out because again you don't want to be in a lot of debt starting out because we also want to renovate or buy a house in the same time frame so you can either have bigger engagement party in a casual setting where you invite those cousins and then for the wedding you have your aunts uncles and immediate family !
I wish you all the best with your planning , whatever you decide it will be beautiful and an unforgettable day !

Hi , as my fiance and I are preparing for our wedding, we ask ourselves what’s more important? The amount of people that’s there or the less people that matters to us and have been with us through the journey. And to be honest, I thought of the big wedding but why that when I do something micro and let the other things in the wedding be big and still have money towards our future. I hope this helps. And congratulations to you all ❤️

So I did the big fairytale wedding with my 1st marriage with 250 people and the ball gown on Halloween black and white masqueradeball. It was overwhelming and a lot to handle qnd very stressful financially. I did a lot of diy things and really cut the cost for a lot by having an all inclusive venue. It was very pretty and nice but like I said very overwhelming and stressful. This time around for our wedding we are doing a small just immediate family and friends under 30 people maybe. We are doing something more intimate and the price is doable compared. I really like the idea of it being intimate and just my partner and I having fun and not in massive debt. So I say how do you feel about it being smaller? Do you want a ton of people or are you wanting it to be more intimate? How do you feel about the financial aspect of it?

We decided it was really important to us to have family there so we went for a medium szie invite list (95). This gave us great flexibility when it came to picking a venue which is often the largest cost! No regrets, it was truly everything we hoped for and provided lifelong memories for our community

Same here luv, im thinking about sizing down but at the same time i know my family would appreciate coming to watch us become husband and wife.

It really sounds like you’re weighing both options thoughtfully, and there’s no wrong choice here. Everyone’s priorities and circumstances are different, so the “right” decision is whatever feels most aligned with what you and your financial value.

Some people love having the big traditional celebration and enjoy bringing all their families together, while others prefer something intimate and appreciate keeping things simple and budget-friendly. Both types of weddings can be meaningful in their own ways.

Maybe think about what aspects truly matter to you both — whether it’s having everyone there, keeping costs manageable, reducing stress, or starting married life with more financial freedom.

Whatever you decide, it sounds like you’re approaching it with a lot of care, and that usually leads to a choice you won’t regret later.

You going have a beautiful wedding