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Should we purchase our Bridesmaids dresses for them?

My FH and I are on a very limited budget. I have 4 bridesmaids, and for their dresses I was giving them a color scheme, legnth, and material, and letting them pick out their own dresses so that they could wear them again if they wanted to. Is it improper to ask for them to pay for their own dresses?

Posted On: Nov 3, 2009 at 3:43 PM | Vendors are allowed to participate

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kristinatms

Wedding: 06/12/2010

22 Comments | Login or Signup to post a comment!

analy m.

Married: 10/03/2009
Reviews: 5

Posted On: Nov 03, 2009 at 3:46 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
Nope. It's perfectly acceptable to ask them to pay for their dresses. Sounds like you are being very accomodating!

Tracey

Wedding: 05/22/2011

Posted On: Nov 03, 2009 at 3:49 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
No, bridesmaids almost always pay for their own dresses. They should be aware of that.

The Potters

Married: 09/12/2009
Reviews: 8

Posted On: Nov 03, 2009 at 3:49 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
They are supposed to pay for them. I don't even think you have to ask, it is just a given that the BMs pay for that. Same goes for the guy's tuxes.

kristinatms

Wedding: 06/12/2010

Posted On: Nov 03, 2009 at 3:53 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
any ideas on where to get cheap BM dresses? My friends are just as broke as I am.

Not-A-Bridezilla

Wedding: 05/15/2010

Posted On: Nov 03, 2009 at 3:53 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
I think its one thing if you are requiring that the bridesmaids wear a specific dress... and if that dress happens to be designer and carries a hefty price tag. Then you should definitely pay for it. However, this definitely doesn't sound like what you are doing so I would say they should pay for it. When someone agrees to be in your wedding party they should know that there are certain expenses they will incur. If they have a problem with it they should sit down with you to work it out and maybe you can come to an agreement. If they are rude then you don't need them in your wedding party. If they genuinely want to pay but can't, then maybe you could at least help them pay for it, or choose a less expensive dress

Soon2BeWifey

Wedding: [Private]

Posted On: Nov 03, 2009 at 4:06 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
I agree with PP... they should already know that they are paying for their own dresses. If you want to go with something cheaper, I'm not sure what your colors are, but you could just have them get a nice "little black dress" ('cuz you can find those just about anywhere!) or I have found that David's Bridal is one of the cheaper stores to go to for BM dresses

Kristina G.

Wedding: 05/30/2010

Posted On: Nov 03, 2009 at 4:15 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
I'd check out Davids Bridal, they normally have a good amount of bridesmaid dresses on sale for $80. Also maybe check out department stores around prom and homecoming time and christmas. Good Luck.

DawnDawn

Wedding: 03/14/2010

Posted On: Nov 03, 2009 at 4:47 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
I found a dress at Ross for $20. I have worn it in 2 weddings as a BM.

Kianna

Ober Digital Media

Posted On: Nov 03, 2009 at 4:47 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
At our wedding, I had Bridesmaids who were low on money as well. We paid for part of their dresses out of our budget to help them out. That worked out well and it eased the strain for them. Best Wishes!

cuteangelfan

Wedding: 04/10/2010

Posted On: Nov 03, 2009 at 6:57 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
not-a-bridezilla I completely disagree with you. I think that when you agree to be in a wedding,you are there to be supportive. it is nice if the bride thinks about the price, but whatever dress she chooses I think a bm should pay it

Meaghan K.

Married: 10/04/2008

Posted On: Nov 03, 2009 at 7:03 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
etiquette dictates as a bridesmaid you pay for the gown. I think it would be a nice gesture to pay for them, but you certainly don't have to. Perhaps you can pay for their hair and makeup on the day instead.

lovingit

Wedding: 07/10/2010

Posted On: Nov 04, 2009 at 12:41 AM \| Flag As Inappropriate
when asked to be in a wedding most assume and prepare themselves to pay for their own dress.i have never been in a wedding where i did not pay for my dress. in fact i never say yes unless i kow i can fford to get the dress and fulfill my duties. for me i found the perfect dresses but they were being discontinued so i had to have my girls get tem 4 months before planned and 8 months before the wedding. so my mom told the girls to just pay 100 for the dress and anymore then that she will cover or she will pay for their shoes. they can pick. the dress was 140 shoes are 130. they got to pick. but it helped them a little. as for dresses I got mine at davids bridal, but there are also some cheepa but good ones at groupusa. good luck!!...save money and put the money towards your big day.

Not-A-Bridezilla

Wedding: 05/15/2010

Posted On: Nov 08, 2009 at 2:53 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
cuteangelfan-- I think as a bride it would be ridiculous to assume that someone could pay $300 for a dress they will most likely wear once. I think that if you are REQUIRING them to wear that specific style and can't come down on the price then you should pay for it or at least help (that's obviously different if you KNOW they have the money).... but I know we all have differing opinions on that

~~Bride to Be~~

Wedding: 05/28/2010

Posted On: Nov 08, 2009 at 3:06 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
I dont think there is anything wrong with asking your BM's to purchase thier own dresses. My situation was close to lovingits where I found the dress and color around 8 months before the wedding and wanted everyone to get them before they were discontinued. I didnt want to wait for the Spring line to come out and the dress not be available so I bought the dresses for my BM's. I must admit it took a little bit of our budget to do this because thier dresses were like $160 but I feel good knowing that they are out of the way. But what I did do is tell them they are now responsible for thier accessories, shoes, hair, nails and makeup for the big day.

Debi B.

Cater It Simple

Posted On: Nov 08, 2009 at 7:27 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
I paid for my bridesmaids dresses because I wanted a specific dress. My husband paid for his groomsmen's tuxes because he considered it the ultimate tacky to ask someone to be in your wedding and then add, "Oh, and it will cost you a hundred bucks to do that." . I think the norm is for the BM and/or GM to pay for their own, but I think the bride has to be considerate at what is reasonable. . If I'm "invited" to be in a wedding and then told I HAVE to spend $300 on a one-time dress, odds are good the bride will have to find another BM. . The cost of the dress and the attendant's financial status should be considered when making your choices .... of attendants AND of the dress. . There are too many stories on www.etiquettehell.com on this very topic that causes long term friends to never speak to each other.

Whitni C.

Wedding: 06/11/2010

Posted On: Nov 08, 2009 at 7:29 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
im doing the same thing! dont feel bad. we have a small budget and theres only two of them! so really if one cant pay, we dont mind. We just asked in advanced to help us save money for other things! they didnt mind at all :)

3.6.10Bride

Wedding: 03/06/2010

Posted On: Nov 08, 2009 at 7:50 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
I've really only been in one wedding as an adult, and it was my brother's earlier this year. They offered to pay for my dress, and my daughter's (flower girl) but I told them I would buy our dresses. I knew they didn't have a lot of money, and figured it would be a big help to their budget. They, however, bought my shoes and paid for both of our hair appointments.

nmm

Party Planners Plus

Posted On: Nov 08, 2009 at 7:58 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
Check out Chadwicks bridal clearence online. My daughter found her bridesmaids dresses there made sure they had all the right sizes everyone needed and ordered them for $29.99 then they had the shoes to match for $9.99. Just an idea for tight budgets I know your girls will appreciate you at least worrying about them paying for them. If you do find them cheap make it there gift! Oh and check out davids bridal online in the clearence section. Gosh I wish they had spell check on here! Nora PPP

DreamComeTrue

Wedding: 06/25/2011

Posted On: Nov 08, 2009 at 8:47 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
@ Debi B thanks for the link...Im over here LMAO!!! I totally agree with Not a Bridezilla and Debi B

Ms. Soon to be his Mrs.

Wedding: 11/06/2010

Posted On: Nov 08, 2009 at 9:17 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
Davids bridal will let you but you dresses on lay a way if they are in the store already if they are special order they have to be paid in full before they are ordered...

Married: 10/17/2009

Posted On: Nov 08, 2009 at 9:27 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
david's bridal online and you can return within 14 days if you don't like them. or go to sears, jcp, ross, nordstrom rack, group usa on sale....i wanted a specific dress, so i paid for the bm dresses, but they were very reasonably priced for the quality. my fh paid for the groomsmen tuxes but he is always generous with his friends....the norm really is to have each bm/groomsmen pay for their own, although i think it's too much to ask ppl to shell out $200 plus...you can find many for under $100 on db online.

Debi B.

Cater It Simple

Posted On: Nov 08, 2009 at 10:03 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
DreamComeTrue, careful once you start reading that website! I found it at about 8:00 p.m. one night. I was reading and reading ... until I heard my husband's alarm go off! I had read straight thru the night, with a mix of laughter and "Oh my god!" 's slipping out. It's REALLY addicting. Everytime I think there can't be a bride worse than the one I'm reading about .... I read the next story and lo & behold, a new threshhold has been set! hahahaha!

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Etiquette and Customs