Out of control guest list.

We are already expecting to invite about 600 guests to the wedding. We have big families and lots of friends. But now my FH's mother has told his grandmother (who's never been very nice to me) to give her a guest list and had the nerve to tell my mom that grandma's friends were higher society class than my FH and I are. I don't do the social scene because my doctor father says its not important and we should be more concerned with things that help others than who has what.
I am trying to be polite about it all but she has now also told me that I have to have this one flower in the bouquets that we are going to present in front of the Virgin Mary at the Mass part of the wedding. The flower is out of season in July and she told me that if I don't get it she will grow it herself. I am not sure what to do and it is making me hate calling her and planning anything because I feel like nothing I do is good enough. I kind of don't even want to plan this anymore and I was loving it.

Posted On: Jul 3, 2009 at 10:05 PM | Vendors are allowed to participate

Share | Add to My Watchlist | Flag As Inappropriate |

Angela B.
Community Superstar

Wedding: 07/31/2010

4 Comments | Login or Signup to post a comment!


SoontobeMrs
Community Megastar

Wedding: 09/04/2010
Posted On: Jul 03, 2009 at 10:40 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
Angela girl I am sooo with you ... Like yourself our list is 500 or more and a few times my mom has stated well did you add this person and dont forget this person and I am like mom they will not come. But oh no we must invite them anyway ........ OMG this is stressful

Carrielee C.
Community Superstar

Wedding: 07/17/2010
Posted On: Jul 04, 2009 at 1:25 AM | Flag As Inappropriate
I am with both of you. My FH and I both have big families as well and we are expecting 800 guests. I know that it gets frustrating at times, especially when others try to make it their wedding and add this or add that. But just remember, it is your day and it should be your way. You should do what makes you and your FH happy. Sure, it may be alright to compromise sometimes, but don't let it overtake your whole wedding planning experience or your whole wedding in general. Don't give up, and I wish you the best of luck!

JJ
Community Superstar

Married: 10/17/2009
Posted On: Jul 04, 2009 at 3:33 AM | Flag As Inappropriate
Oh dear, I have a 300 guest wedding and I thought that was out of control. I am battling and campaigning to keep it that way because if I don't, it could bloom to 400 in a blink of an eye or the manipulation of a well versed tongue. Stick to your guns. Of course, you don't want to be rude...BUT put a cap on it where you need to and where you want to. Chances are if they are that snobby/snotty, then they will find things wrong with you or what you do no matter how hard you try to please them.....like the no win situation..it's no win people. Whatcha gonna do? ...I would tell my FH to tell his mom to grow the flower. But that's just me. Plus, I'm not that communicative with my MIL. She doesn't live near me. Everything goes through the FH. Number one priority make sure that you and your FH are on the same page and that he will be supportive of you, run interference with his mother, and generally back you up. Another thought---do you have a SIL you can talk to?

Joanne C.
Community Megastar

Married: 06/06/2009
Reviews: 6
Posted On: Jul 04, 2009 at 4:43 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
Wow. This is supposed to be people who are close to you. Not people who are considered friends to anyone who can say they are related to you. Don't you have some sort of limit at the reception hall, limit in the budget, etc. you can point to? Even just how long is your receiving line going to take? These are all important factors. Figure out what is really realistic for you and stop the influence and send out the word to the relatives that there will be no more additions. And by the way, she is more than welcome to grow the flower...
Good luck!
Login or Signup to post a comment!