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Well your sister is your sister, your family so of course she would be your MOH, I would just simply have a heart to heart with your friend and explain to her that you are worried about her and her lifestyle choices. And see from there is she plans to clean up her act and make your decision about asking her to be in your wedding party from there. Good luck.

yeah your sister is your sister my sister was my moh she should understand that. as for her lifestyle you just need to ask her if she is ok or if there is something else going on

Hmm that's tough. On the one hand, she's your best friend and it makes sense that you want her there, and maybe one of the best things for her in this difficult time is to know she still has you as a friend. On the other hand, you don't want her to mess up your wedding by not getting her act together, showing up drunk or whatnot. What about having her do a reading or lighting a candle or something that could be easily replaced if she flakes? You can always find someone to do a reading even like, the day before the wedding, and it wouldn't require her to be involved in any pre-wedding events like showers, bachelorette parties, dress shopping, rehearsal, etc. If your friend is unrealiable now, it's very likely that she will be unreliable for all those events leading up to the wedding, and that is an unnecessary source of stress. Good luck with whatever you decide!

I am having an out of state wedding and going through the same thing having by BFF and her lil sis were a given. My BFF can be a major flake when it comes to things and as the lil one gets older she's transforming into her sister. You may have heard the infamous phrase when you ask if they can make it that far for the wedding..." I want to be but...(Pause)",MY god just give me a straight yes or no that's all I want I wouldn't be mad and finally AFTER A WEEK I got a answer but I think that is something you should do. Eventually I'd ask people to come to my wedding and if they said of coarse no problem of coarse are you kidding me then I asked them if they wanted to (my wedding is 8-10 hrs away so it may not mean the same to you). Good luck don't give up girls are pain, freak out then breath :) It's what I did lol

Thanks, ladies! I'm think I'm going to need to devote some real time to chatting with the BFF. I haven't called her yet, since her DUI, because I didn't want her to get upset with my little sister (for telling me about it). I've been really avoid-ant, because I don't want to get sucked into the dysfunction - maybe I'll give her a call, this weekend.

I think there's a way to discuss your concerns with your friend without putting her on the defensive. Is her recent DUI your only reason for concern or is there more to it? Just have a talk with her. Tell her you are concerned and worried about her and want to make sure she is okay. That's a discussion that has absolutely nothing to do with your wedding. Then based on the outcome of that convo, you can let her know that you want her to be a BM but based on the previous discussion, ask her if she's able to handle it. If not you'll just be happy to have her as a guest. If she really has personal things she needs to work on...