Why having a dry/self cater wedding because of money is bull

We didn't just not ask for gifts, we specifically noted on our website to refrain from giving gifts (not in those exact words). Only gift we want or need is for our loved ones to attend. We are also having a smaller wedding. They aren't obligated to attend the reception. Also, none of my guests will be cooking or serving food and neither will I or my FH. My guests will be very happy and those that are helping with small things are only doing so because they begged to help after me denying them multiple times. See some of us have family that actually enjoy helping others my FH is in recovery, as is my mother, and because there are only about 5-7 people attending that even drink, we opted out. Works for us and the majority of our guests. If people dont like that its dry, Guess What?! They dont have to come!!!

I was considering self catering rhe rehearsal. I am so thankful my for my in-laws. There is no way I would have been able to do that let alone a wedding. Best of luck to those that are trying to self cater.

Lol yea, no plates and just little cocktail napkins. And no serving spoon for the hummus, so I used a chip and plopped it on my napkin.

I decided that would be easier to eat off a napkin than salsa or ceviche...

OH, @STBMS ... they aren't obligated to attend the reception. That makes it better then.

You do realize you're not obligating them to attend the part that is meant to thank them for coming?

Oh SoontoBeMrsSandell, you are just a wealth of etiquette faux pas.

.

Maybe the people that offered to help haven't ever helped at a wedding and don't know what they're getting into?

STBMS, I feel like you just keep changing your story.

Why say you had three chefs so the food will be great and then write this in your next post "Also, none of my guests will be cooking or serving food and neither will I or my FH."

like WTF.

Also, my family loves helping others. I just loved them enough to not make them help out on the wedding day. BAM.

@STBMS - I'm confused now. You said your sister and uncle are chefs so it's okay, but you say none of your guests are cooking. So your sister and uncle aren't guests?

And how will your guests know that it's a dry wedding before they attend? Put it on your website so they know to bring a flask?

I've never met such self centered and entitled people till I met dry wedding/cash bar/self catering brides.

You must think very poorly of your family and friends to make them work your wedding.

There is no other interpretation of that.

Get ready to be the topic of discussion at family events

@Lauren but they aren't her family and friends, because apparently no guests will be working. The only explanation is that these are people that are "friends" and "family" enough to be swindled into working, but not enough to actually be invited.

How in the world do so many people have dry, self-catered weddings? I've never ever attended one with even a cash bar...

I'm so freaking happy that FH and I waited to get married until we could make sure our guests can eat fabulous food and drink alcoholic beverages for 6 hours...

Just sticking my moderator face in here to say I'm seeing the flagging starting up in this thread, and I hope we can continue to stick to the topic and not require locking this down! Speak your mind, own your opinions, but stick to commenting on ideas - no criticizing people or name calling.

Oh I see that now Lizzy well now I'm confused af

Why is everyone assuming that self-catered food will make people sick...? I don't really get why everyone is being so mean to this poor woman. You guys are saying that she's rude with poor etiquette but most of you ladies are acting like vultures. There's a way to explain etiquette to people without being downright mean.

I'm having a (mostly) dry wedding because alcohol isn't very important to me, or most of my guests. The majority of them wouldn't drink even if the alcohol was there. We will be providing a champagne toast for every guest. However, I definitely won't be self-catering. It's way too much work, and not something I want to deal with. I feel like self-catering is fine for extremely small weddings, or for a wedding not being hosted at a meal time. Anyone can make chicken salad right?

Anyway, I understand not fully agreeing with the decision to self-cater, and this forum is meant for people to voice those opinions, but shouldn't we be making this a safe place for brides to come and ask questions and support each other? Posts like this hurt feelings.

My BFF had an inpromptu wedding b/c her and DH found out they were pregnant and she gathered 25 of her friends and family and had a nearby restaurant cater the wedding and decided to have champagne. It went well and she didn't ask anyone to bring any dishes or have a cash bar. Its all about doing what you can afford. She didn't try to invite 100 people in hopes that people would bring their own food and drinks. She did what she could afford and still had a drink option. Her reception was also not 4 hours either. She provided a full dinner, had a little dancing, did the toasts, cut the cake and called it a night.

I personally dont get upset at a dry wedding but I would be offended by a cash bar and propably wouldn't drink provided I left the money in your card instead of using it to get drinks and giving you the change. I WOULD NOT GO TO YOUR RECEPTION IF IT WAS SELF CATERED! #teamnofoodpoisoning

"Most" as in, it's important to some. So have alcohol, Kayla.

Also, chicken salad is yuck and I don't think that should be a wedding food.

I hope you still feel "safe"

God I hate the "none of our guests drink". Right.... ok.