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Tiffany
Devoted November 2016

Who's paying for their own wedding?

Tiffany, on September 6, 2016 at 8:19 PM

Posted in Planning 352

I think just to show a few ladies who think it's their parents responsibility to pay exactly how many of us are paying, everyone who is paying for their own wedding should comment here. ETA: Because I forgot that people on the internet take offense to things that are not about them. This site is a...

I think just to show a few ladies who think it's their parents responsibility to pay exactly how many of us are paying, everyone who is paying for their own wedding should comment here.

ETA: Because I forgot that people on the internet take offense to things that are not about them. This site is a guilty pleasure of mine. Yesterday I had the most stressful wedding planning day to date. I get online and the first post I read is titled "who pays". While reading through the comments, I come across a girl who is upset that her father refuses to pay even though he is financially able. She sounded like an entitled brat. She then commented that she really doubted the majority of us were paying on our own. This "rubbed me the wrong way" I started this post to prove a point that the majority of us are in fact paying on our own. I am in no way trying to shame those fortunate enough to have family help. Nor do I think I am better because I don't.

352 Comments

  • Jessica
    Expert September 2017
    Jessica ·
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    We most definetely are paying for it ourselves. But we can't judge those whose parents can pay, there's nothing wrong with that. FH'S parents paid for his sisters wedding, they had the means and wanted to do it traditionally.

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  • D
    Just Said Yes October 2017
    Dayna ·
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    I'll be paying for my own. Well my fiance and I that is.

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  • L
    Just Said Yes August 2017
    Lisa ·
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    We are paying for ours!!

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  • MrsGill
    Expert August 2016
    MrsGill ·
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    We did!!

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  • T
    Savvy October 2017
    Terry ·
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    I am

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  • FMP
    VIP October 2017
    FMP ·
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    I am also!

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  • FutureMrs.Dyson
    Super December 2016
    FutureMrs.Dyson ·
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    This couple! My mom bought $800 worth of decorations but we will pay her back (she doesn't know yet).

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  • Anvenette
    Super August 2018
    Anvenette ·
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    We are

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  • Farah
    Devoted August 2017
    Farah ·
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    We are

    • Reply
  • T
    Just Said Yes February 2017
    Tanya ·
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    We are! And no debt here!

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  • Jacks
    Champion November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    Hi! Yep, us!

    • Reply
  • AlmostMrsA
    Expert August 2017
    AlmostMrsA ·
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    We are, too!

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  • Jacks
    Champion November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    Megan, I find that sad that you don't have family support in your union. You have all of my best wishes to the both of you.

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  • Megan P.
    Dedicated November 2017
    Megan P. ·
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    @Future Mrs. Hodge it's not even really a big deal to us anymore, it was expected. However, I was watching an episode of Four Weddings the other day and there was a lesbian couple on there and one of the women wasn't expecting her father to show up, and he walked down the aisle toward her at the last minute, she didn't know if he was coming or not and that hit home for me. Bawled like a baby for like 10 minutes lol

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  • Nicole
    Savvy October 2016
    Nicole ·
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    Every penny. And the honeymoon.

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  • Megan P.
    Dedicated November 2017
    Megan P. ·
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    @Jacks thank you so much, you are so sweet! (: I think if they don't come it will be bittersweet, because you always expect that your parents will at least show up to your wedding if not more. But I know the people that do show up are clearly the people I need to keep close, and I'll have more fun (I think) knowing that they're not going to be sitting there dreading the whole thing. Kinda like "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." If you're going to be miserable the entire time and make it obvious that you don't want to be there, don't show up.

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  • Laura
    Champion June 2010
    Laura ·
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    My mom contributed about $1000, and my MIL paid for the rehearsal dinner. They offered, we didn't ask. We (mostly DH) paid for the rest.

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  • BreKMK
    Expert January 2017
    BreKMK ·
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    FH and I are covering our wedding. My parents started my bank account with $1000 when I was a kid and told me it was for my wedding. They had forgotten about that, and wanted to pay some, but they've had lots of expenses recently and couldn't really. My mom wanted to get my dress anyway, but I'm going to get her dress instead! (If she doesn't beat me to it the way I did on mine, lol.) I appreciate my parents' willingness to help, but we feel like we're adults, and if we want a fancy wedding, we need to be responsible for the costs. That's not to say anyone who accepts help is less adult; we just know it would be a financial burden on our parents at this moment.

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  • VC
    Master May 2017
    VC ·
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    Megan, I am in a similar situation. Same-sex wedding. My parents are attending but my mom told me "I am just treating it like a fancy night out" and we don't even know if my fiancé's parents are attending.

    But we are seeing like you, if they are sulking there, they might as well not show up.

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  • D
    Savvy September 2017
    Danielle ·
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    We are.

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