Anne
Master June 2017

Who is gaining step children?

Anne, on October 14, 2016 at 12:54 PM Posted in Married Life 0 41
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I'm gaining 3 step children when I get married. They are ages 8, 11, and 14. FH is gaining a 13 year old and a 24 year old. I love all of our kids and I'm so excited to be able to finally bring everyone together under one roof (minus the 24 year old who is away at college)

This will be my first experience as a step parent. Do any of you all have step children now? Are you gaining kids with marriage?

What is the best part of step parenting?

41 Comments

  • FutureMrsB
    VIP December 2016
    FutureMrsB ·
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    I am on the flipside, FH is gaining 2 stepdaughters in marrying me. I can tell you on the opposite side the joy I feel inside watching FH and the girls play together and talk together. It is something I never thought they would have, their bio dad has been absent since pregnancy.

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  • KBtoKS
    Expert October 2016
    KBtoKS ·
    • Flag

    I am in a similar boat as @FutureMrsB. FH is gaining a step daughter. He never thought he could ever date someone with children and he has absolutely fallen in love with her and says he can't imagine things without her. She has a very good relationship with her dad but she loves FH too. Part of it is because we have been together since she was 22 months old and so she doesn't remember a time when he hasn't been around.

    He says the becoming a parent has been super fulfilling for him and he loves it.

    I am glad because are not planning on having any more children.

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  • MJ
    VIP April 2017
    MJ ·
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    We are each gaining a step-daughter. They are 2 years apart and get along really well.

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  • HisBlackbird
    Devoted October 2017
    HisBlackbird ·
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    While we are non-custodial (every other weekend, Tuesday nights, and some weeks during summer break), I'm gaining a five year old and an eleven (soon to be twelve) year old. I don't have any children of my own, but I am a preschool teacher, and I love kids in general - so I'm very excited to be able to fill the role as a "bonus mom" (that's what they call me, lol).

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  • Deb
    VIP January 2017
    Deb ·
    • Flag

    I am gaining a step son, who is 11. We have been living together for almost 3 years so not much will change as far as life goes.

    Honestly, I have a great relationship with his mom so that part of it is easy. We are very open about everything. Step son is very respectful of me, and of mom's fiancé. Both parents stand behind us and our decisions. We discuss all issues together and all 4 of us stay united and consistent. He was only disrespectful of me once, about a month after they moved in with me. He woke up at 1am and snuck downstairs to use the computer. I made him go back upstairs and he basically played the "mom would let me card", which is false.

    I think mom actually laid into him the most and he has never, ever done it since.

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  • ECN
    Savvy December 2016
    ECN ·
    • Flag

    We're non-custodial as well, but I'll be "gaining" a 4 year old crazy fun little girl! I say "gaining" because I've been in her life since she was 5 months old, so she just knows that I've always been around. We bake, paint nails and she asks me when I'm having a baby all the time. She's basically awesome and keeps us laughing Smiley smile

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  • CastleSabrina
    VIP November 2018
    CastleSabrina ·
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    I will be gaining a 6 (7 in Jan) old step son, however I count him as such now, and he tells everyone he has two moms, and that I am his step mom. I always thought I could never be with someone who had kids, especially since I don't like his mom, but it has been really nice. I'm a huge nerd so he loves it because I'm the one that watches all the Marvel/DC movies with him, because FH doesn't get into it as much as I do. Plus I'm a LEGO fan, all the things little boys need. I always make it a point to plan things, and have family outings with him, to the zoo and other events because I had that stuff when I was little, and I know he doesn't get anything at his moms.

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  • Ashley
    Expert October 2016
    Ashley ·
    • Flag

    I am gaining 2 step sons. 17 and 22. But I have been with FH since they were 6 and 10 so it's no big deal. Oh, and I am 32! Lol

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  • Stephanie
    Super July 2017
    Stephanie ·
    • Flag

    FH and I like to refer to gaining each other children as bonus kids instead of step children. I'm gaining 4 bonus children ages 25, 24, 22 and 20. FH is going 2 ages 21 and 18. Only our youngest children will be living with us when we get married.

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  • Kimberly
    Super November 2017
    Kimberly ·
    • Flag

    Im 26 I will be 27 when we wed, I will get gaining a 10 year old step daughter <3

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  • Ms. Tee
    Super April 2017
    Ms. Tee ·
    • Flag

    @sabrina, I felt the same way. I have turned many guys away when I heard the word "child." Funny how things have changed. I will gain an 11 year old in April. He is with use every Wednesday/Thurdsay and every other weekend. I feel like there was a reason GOD put us in each other lives, but haven't figured out why yet.

    YAY, to all of us bonus parents!!

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  • OnceuponaCarter
    Devoted July 2017
    OnceuponaCarter ·
    • Flag

    I have been raising as my own for 5 years (since he was 4) my stepson, although I don't ever say that. He's my son and that's the beginning and end of it. I suppose it's different if his bio mom was actually in the picture but she's made her choice. I would say in the beginning it was shock and I had to grow as a mother/person as he has special needs. I couldn't parent him the way I parent my bio children. It forced me to change it all and ultimately made me a more focused, patient, Resourceful momma bear. All I can say is... don't treat them like step children , be patient with the changes (if there is any), it's about the children.. you don't have to like the mother but don't fight, the kids can tell and it hurts.

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  • QueenDavis
    Super October 2018
    QueenDavis ·
    • Flag

    Gaining a daughter and I love her beyond words. Our bond is amazing.

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  • Alicia
    Super November 2016
    Alicia ·
    • Flag

    I'm gaining a 14 year old step daughter who wants nothing to do with me..so that's fun. Not. Mt FH is gaining a 7 year old step son who thinks he hung the moon.

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  • Wifin'
    Super March 2017
    Wifin' ·
    • Flag

    I will gain a bonus son (18 next month) and daughter (19). We have 3 kids together 6, 4, and 1

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  • Liz
    Super December 2016
    Liz ·
    • Flag

    I'm gaining a step daughter who turns 8 in December. I couldn't be happier (I most likely won't have my own children) and I'm very, very blessed to be on good terms with her mom.

    I know a lot of times step parents can be seen in a really unflattering light (I had to stop looking up info on the internet because it was making me depressed) so the fact that her mom and I get along makes me feel like maybe I'm doing something right.

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  • LaKessia
    Super October 2016
    LaKessia ·
    • Flag

    I gained a 16, 14, & 5 year old. He gained a 17 year old.

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  • Melanie
    Expert November 2016
    Melanie ·
    • Flag

    I will have a 8 yr old step son next month and I couldn't be happier <3

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  • ALH
    VIP October 2016
    ALH ·
    • Flag

    I don't have any kids, but DH has two. We have been together for six years, so I have spent a long time with the kids. Honestly we don't plan on having any kids together so as far as I am concerned, his kids are mine as well. I actually included a part in my vows where I said that I would love and raise them to the best of my ability because I understand that DH and his kids were a package deal... You don't get one without the others. But yeah I would say the best part is having the privilege of being able to have a part in raising his kids. It's just such an honor.

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  • Hailey
    Dedicated June 2017
    Hailey ·
    • Flag

    I'll be gaining a step daughter! She's 5. FH Became the custodial parent in July, so it's been a really fun adventure. She makes life so much more interesting. Her mom is a pain in the rear, but you'll have that. Really broke my heart when future stepdaughter came to our house and said "mommy says she doesn't like Hailey, and that I shouldn't either." Smiley sad I just brushed it off because it must kill her to know that another woman is helping to care for her daughter every day.

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