Which is more rude, cash bar or dry wedding?

I’ve flown halfway around the world (and had to write a 40 page paper) to attend the dry wedding of a close cousin. I’m happy I was able to make it, but it was boring. Dry weddings are the norm in our culture, but it was still boring. Don’t assume that the people who love you will magically not be bored just because they love you.

If someone has a cash bar wedding, I assume they can’t afford a full bar, which I understand. But, as a PP said, if they’re wearing an expensive dress, have expensive flowers, a photo booth, or serve filet, I’m going to side-eye and judge the crap out of them. Same with if there are more than 100 people there (unless it’s all aunts/uncles and cousins). All that tells me is that they wanted a big, fancy, Pinterest-approved wedding, but didn’t want to actually pay for it. And the idea that anyone won’t judge you because they love you is ludicrous. They just won’t say anything to you.

Personally I think both are poor hosting. If I had to choose, though, I'd rather attend a cash bar. While I don't think it's right to have to pay for alcohol, at least with that option the hosts are acknowledging their guests would like a drink.

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Yes @Nat, you hit the nail on the head. Over and over I see posts where there's 100+ people and a cash bar. Where brides bought a dress, decided they didn't like it, bought another dress and have a cash bar. I just commented several times on a post where the bride invited 90 people and is only serving her guests a charcuterie platter and is having a cash bar. There are lots of options to cut costs and a cash bar is not a legitimate one. What is wrong with simply waiting and saving until you can afford it?

Both are pretty rude, but i’d rather buy a drink than not have the option.

I'd rather pay for my drinks than not be allowed to drink.

I'm going w cash bar on this one. I believe that less people should be invited if need be to be able to cover the bar cost. Dry wedding are usually due to religious or other personal preferences. So I don't find them rude. Bit of it is dry just for the heck of not paying, than rude for sure!

I've been to several dry weddings and it was no issue and I didn't have an issue with it either. On the other hand I don't have a problem with a cash bar either. People are so quick to think someone is being cheap but their is numerous reasons why someone could not have alcohol at their reception. To each its own though. S/n I've been to open bar and the drinks suck. Didn't even have a buzz 🤷‍♀️

Dry wedding for sure.

I think cash bars are worse, but in my opinion, how bad a dry wedding is to me depends on whether it was planned properly for a dry event. You can plan a reasonable dry event, but a cash bar is almost always going to feel rude. Like, I would rather attend a dry 2 hour afternoon cake-and-punch reception than an evening reception with dinner, dancing, and a cash bar. But a dry evening reception with dancing? Eh... Not a fan.

Both are awful. In either case, you'd better let your guests know ahead of time, so they can bring their own in their car trunks and purses. Because that is what they will do. Or leave early.

If I really had to choose, I'd say cash bar is worse. I agree with the sentiment that having the cash bar means the couple has no issue with alcohol except for the cost, and it's putting guests in a situation to have to pay for part of their thank you for coming.

With a dry wedding that is a cake and punch reception and not at a meal time, I don't see there being a big issue with there not being alcoholic drinks options. Cake and punch receptions are typically much shorter events, so the couple isn't really expecting guests to stay for hours, shake it like a Polaroid picture on the dance floor, and have a "party" atmosphere. I mean, some champagne, or beer and wine, or a refreshing cocktail would go very nicely with cake and would obviously not hurt the celebration, but it's definitely more forgiveable to go dry for a short afternoon reception where a meal isn't being served.

At an evening reception, I'd say neither cash bar or dry wedding is okay, but this is the situation where I've been more likely to see cash bars. Evening receptions are longer. The couple is obviously expecting guests to stay for hours and party on the dance floor. As opposed to a short afternoon reception where guests eat their cake, congratulate the couple, and then peace out, this is the environment when the couple knows their guests are going to want to enjoy a drink (or a few drinks) and they're choosing not to plan a wedding they can afford by having a cash bar so they can have a larger guest list or spend money on other things that really shouldn't have been more important.

Cash.... if people wants tip drink they can bring their own

I would think dry is worse. But both are bad ideas.

Dry bar is insulting! 😉
Haha just kidding but I’d rather have the option to pay than the decision being made for me.

I honestly think they are both rude . But if I had to pick I would say a dry wedding . If I want to have a drink I would rather be able to go buy one . I would say let your guest know . Me and FH went to a cash bar wedding and didn't know so we didn't bring cash . (I would rather use cash then my card)

I think cash bar is rude, because guests are expected to pay.

Dry weddings are not rude, in my opinion. I have only been to one wedding with a bar, all the others have been dry. They were still a lot of fun! I am having a dry wedding for religious reasons. When it is for religious reasons, even serving alcohol and not personally drinking would Be unacceptable. Plus, the majority of my guests have the same religious convictions and will be more comfortable at a dry wedding.

Both are awful. If you can't afford booze, wait to get married.

They both suck, but I would rather have the option to buy a drink. What's worse is not warning your guests that there is a cash bar and no ATM on site...

View Quoted Comment Amen to that. Seems like a lot of people care more about the party than the two people getting married. Must be a culture difference. If I cared that much, I'd go to a fraternity's tailgate instead.

Definitely dry, as others have mentioned, at least having the option is better than not having it at all. But of course, at least let the guests know what the set up is.