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Christina
Dedicated May 2018

Which is more rude, cash bar or dry wedding?

Christina, on January 10, 2018 at 9:54 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 197

I see negative reactions to both. Which one is worse is your opinion?
I see negative reactions to both. Which one is worse is your opinion?

197 Comments

  • firstoneat56
    Master August 2017
    firstoneat56 ·
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    I have never been to a wedding with a cash bar or a dry wedding. I ever heard of either until I went on WW,. I’m 57 years old and have been to countless weddings, engagement parties, showers, milestone birthday and anniversary parties and never experienced either. I wouldn’t ever, in a million years, consider throwing a dry event or ask people to pay for drinks.

    To address PPs comments: 1. There’s a big place between no alcohol and getting completely wasted. It’s called “responsible drinking.” 2. You don’t “need” alcohol to have a good time but it’s nice to have a cocktail or some wine at a festive event. 3. Yes, weddings ARE expensive. However, the last place to cut is on major things that affect guest experience. You can certainly offer “well” liquor over “premium,” wine and beer only, or a signature drink plus wine and beer, bring in your own alcohol (if allowed) to help with costs. If that’s still not affordable, cut your guest list and/or simply wait and save up. 4. You don’t have a dry wedding because you’re not a big drinker. If your guests aren’t “big drinkers” than pay on consumption, you’ll save money. The reception is for your guests. Are you not going to have music and dancing because you’re not really into dancing? Are you not going to have dessert for your guests because you’re on a diet? Are you not going to serve beef, chicken or fish for dinner because you’re a vegetarian? Yes, it’s that ridiculous.
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  • C
    Master July 2018
    Cuoghi ·
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    Dry wedding. It isn't rude, it is just annoying.
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  • M
    Devoted May 2018
    Mrs. ·
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    Both are awful. Just awful.

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  • Kaye
    VIP October 2018
    Kaye ·
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    A dry wedding is definitely more rude.

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  • Meaghan
    Dedicated September 2018
    Meaghan ·
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    I honestly don’t see anything wrong with a cash bar. We’re expecting 200 people at our wedding. There’s no way I’m paying for them to get drunk.
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  • FME
    Master March 2018
    FME ·
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    I think a cash bar is worse. For A Dry wedding, maybe there is some religious or moral issue involved, for a cash bar--they obviously think booze is okay, just are too cheap to pay for it.

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  • Mrs. Fall Bride
    Master October 2016
    Mrs. Fall Bride ·
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    That's like asking if you'd rather get shot in the leg or have acid poured on you. Both terrible choices.

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  • HowCo Industries
    VIP September 2018
    HowCo Industries ·
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    There are *a lot* of reasons to have a dry wedding that aren't in any way inhospitable. A cash bar only (rather than the one one your venue snuck in while you're serving only beer and wine or certain labels) is always about money and shows bad management (too many guests, not figuring costs appropriately.)
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  • Emily
    Master May 2014
    Emily ·
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    A cash bar is FAR worse from an etiquette perspective and therefore more "rude". A dry wedding is NOT against etiquette. Sure they may be boring and guests may not enjoy attending them, but it is not rude of the hosts to not offer alcohol. It is up to the hosts to decide what to offer as far as food and beverages.

    A cash bar, where you are offering alcohol but making guests pay, is definitely more rude. You should never offer what you aren't willing to pay for.
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  • Adrianna
    Expert June 2018
    Adrianna ·
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    We are not having alcohol at all at our wedding.
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  • GoodPrincessButtercup
    Devoted May 2018
    GoodPrincessButtercup ·
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    Dry wedding is worse. I’d leave to get alcohol and then come back and then re write my check for less because... seriously?
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  • Future Mrs B
    Super July 2017
    Future Mrs B ·
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    I think it really depends on your reasoning to do it. Either way could be tacky depending on why.
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  • Hannah
    Super August 2017
    Hannah ·
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    Dry is worse
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  • Mj
    Devoted June 2019
    Mj ·
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    Give them the option to drink but provide at least free soft drinks if the vendor or bartender allows.

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  • Stacey
    Super October 2018
    Stacey ·
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    Etiquette might say that a cash bar is worse, but I would much rather have the option to drink.

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  • Stacey
    Super October 2018
    Stacey ·
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    Ha ha ha! So true!!

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  • Mrs_Jenkins
    Devoted June 2018
    Mrs_Jenkins ·
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    Hmm, I feel like the option to have a drink is better than non at all.

    And I agree with this. I don't feel like either are RUDE, per say. It's 2018. Come on people. Smiley laugh

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  • Jacks
    Champion November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    Again, a dry wedding is not against etiquette. A cash bar is, because you're making your guests pay at your bedding.


    Both are suboptimal though.


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  • J
    Just Said Yes June 2020
    Jessica ·
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    Honestly at my first wedding we had an open bar and some guests do not know their limit so i wish that wedding had been dry lol but also with a cash bar just make sure to let the guests know in advance and then they will also be more prone to keep their drinking under control and not get too wild on your dime since they will have to pay my FH an I are planning an open par with a 2 drink limit per guest then a cash bar after so they will be given drink voucher and once they use them they have to pay (our venue offered this)
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  • FutureMrsN
    Super October 2018
    FutureMrsN ·
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    Both are bad. Personally I think cash bar is ruder, as it's more cheap than disagreeing with it but I would prefer to have the option of buying a drink verses none at all.

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