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Paige L.
Super January 2021

What things do you refuse to have at your wedding?

Paige L., on September 3, 2019 at 8:39 AM

Posted in Planning 271

Hi everyone! While wedding planning, I have noticed that if I try to focus on all of the things I would want in my dream wedding, I either get overwhelmed by the vision or sad to think that, no, I can't afford to rent the most beautiful china and glassware with matching sterling silver cutlery. What...

Hi everyone!

While wedding planning, I have noticed that if I try to focus on all of the things I would want in my dream wedding, I either get overwhelmed by the vision or sad to think that, no, I can't afford to rent the most beautiful china and glassware with matching sterling silver cutlery. What I find better is think of the things I refuse to have at my wedding! If I just make sure those things aren't a part of my day, I know I will have a great time.


What are some of the things you refuse to have at your wedding? For example, I HATE mashed potatoes and green beans (the texture just is so wrong to me), and my caterer will not be allowed to bring those within a 10-mile radius of my reception.

271 Comments

  • Ivy ORP
    VIP October 2019
    Ivy ORP ·
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    Mason jars are cheap but what about glass bottles from the Dollar Store? They have a bunch of different colors which would add to the fairy theme, and if you go down that particular road they wouldn't even need to be the same size. Thrift stores often have stuff like that too. Just an idea.

    • Reply
  • Yam
    VIP September 2019
    Yam ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    That’s a good idea! Maybe I could find colored ones. FH wanted potion bottles but they’re expensive.
    • Reply
  • Fmv
    Super October 2020
    Fmv ·
    • Flag
    I refuse to have the garter toss, boquet toss
    • Reply
  • Nicole
    Devoted April 2021
    Nicole ·
    • Flag

    We aren't doing the garter toss or bouquet toss, seems like everyone does it. not a fan. I don't mind the songs only because I chose an A- Line/ball gown for my dress. But we ARE NOT doing the whole unity candle or sand thing. I don't believe it is necessary since "til death do you part" is the last phrase said. So I agree with Shannon on that one. I did refuse the cake smashing idea but my FH is pushing for it (which is normal). but spending money on my hair and make and a dress that he thinks he is going to get cake all over, I DON'T THINK SO. I also changed my mind on the whole flower thing. it's less stress to have someone else do my flowers but i am NOT spending 1800 on flowers that will die in a week. silk flowers won that!

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  • Ivy ORP
    VIP October 2019
    Ivy ORP ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    https://www.dollartree.com/square-vintage-style-glass-bottles-with-cork-stoppers-12-in/252925

    They have round ones too. Mixing and matching sizes and colors may give it that potions bottle feel.

    • Reply
  • Paige L.
    Super January 2021
    Paige L. ·
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    I don't begrudge anyone taking all of the mashed potatoes. Less for me Smiley winking

    Thank sounds like a horrible experience. I am very sorry you had to go through that as a 11 year-old.

    • Reply
  • Yam
    VIP September 2019
    Yam ·
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    Girl I freaking love you right now! Those are perfect! I was going to send FH to pick up more moss and rocks, I’ll let him know they have cool bottles now. I kind of like those green ones the best.
    • Reply
  • Ivy ORP
    VIP October 2019
    Ivy ORP ·
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    Us Fairy Princess brides have to stick together. Good luck! They do ship in bulk too.

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  • Emily
    Dedicated October 2019
    Emily ·
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    You can also search for “wholesale glass bottles” to find the bottles manufacturers use to package stuff. They are pretty inexpensive for large quantities.
    https://www.bottlestore.com/8oz-flint-boston-round-glass-bottle-24-400-neck-1.html
    • Reply
  • Future Mrs. A. 💍
    VIP November 2021
    Future Mrs. A. 💍 ·
    • Flag
    People taking pictures with their phone at the ceremony !!!! NOT HAPPENING. Drives me CRAZY. And it’s just rude.

    also - certain songs will not be played lol cha cha slide, Cupid’s shuffle, and songs like that

    And no random speeches I am unaware about !

    No surprises at my wedding
    • Reply
  • Madison
    Dedicated October 2019
    Madison ·
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    Thanks, they ended up having a BM take my place but I found it unsettling (even then) that they valued a gross tradition over how I was treated because of it. Even my mom was telling me to apologize to my aunt (the bride) for "ruining" the game.

    As a result, I'm doing a gender neutral bouquet toss for whoever wants to participate and I'm playing a Lizzo song LOL

    I'm also not doing the ceremony things like unity candle/sand/obey in vows/etc.
    Not doing a dollar dance
    Not doing a greeting line
    No head table, doing sweetheart
    No favors (centerpieces technically but no traditional favors)
    No cake smashing
    Keeping our "picture time" short, because i want to enjoy our cocktail hour too!


    I also didnt want to have my father walk me down the aisle (wanted to go alone) but I'm getting so much push back from my parents I'm probably going to end up letting that one go. In exchange I might cut out the FOB/MOG dances and just have us start off the dancing with our parents.

    • Reply
  • Liz
    Savvy September 2019
    Liz ·
    • Flag

    There's lots of "traditional" type things that we aren't doing, but the only thing I really REFUSE to do is be given away. My dad is walking me down the aisle but nobody is asking "who gives this woman...". I am here of my own free will and am choosing to be married thankyouverymuch.

    • Reply
  • L
    Lady ·
    • Flag

    No garter toss - it's so cringey and I hate it at other weddings

    No "announcements" of us or bridal party - it's horrible and I hate the cheesy dances and songs and whatever. People don't care who is in your bridal party. As a BM, it's something I always dread and no one ever asks if we're ok with it.

    No burlap - it's itchy and used for grain storage, no way that's coming into my pretty reception

    • Reply
  • Alexandria
    Just Said Yes January 2021
    Alexandria ·
    • Flag

    I'm sort of a perfectionist and indecisive person. However, I did come up with a list of things I know I don't want to see or happen on our big day:

    No garter/bouquet toss - if I do a bouquet toss, it'll be one with fake flowers since I wanna keep my bouquet as a keepsake.

    No Hard liquor/crazy drinking

    No rustic decorations - thats not style at all or the look I want for the wedding

    No toasts/unauthorized singing - my family is the type if one person is allowed to talk on the mic, everyone will want a chance. I'm gonna tell the DJ to guard the mic with his life.

    No cake smashing - I don't wanna get cake in my hair or on our clothes.

    No long ceremonies (30 minutes tops)

    • Reply
  • Valencia
    Dedicated June 2021
    Valencia ·
    • Flag
    Ok so I’m a bit more traditional... while I do want the bouquet and garter toss they won’t be putting the garter on anyone afterwards...
    I don’t want mason jars or anything “rustic” (I may be from Oklahoma but I don’t want a country wedding lol) I swear it’s like everywhere I go I see nothing but burlap and mason jars. Even on Pinterest.... it’s cute but just not what I want

    • Reply
  • Kristal
    Expert February 2020
    Kristal ·
    • Flag

    There will be no alchohol of any type, honestly. Too many alchoholics in the family.

    No religious or racial bigotry. It may seem a strange thing to have to say but I've already stressed it to my dad and a few of the others known for it.

    we have nixed garter & bouquet tosses and dollar dance as FH feels it is tacky and its not a must have for me.

    fairly early on, i nixed a large amount of real flowers. we will have our bouquets but tables will not have super fancy decorations. I want people to have room to eat.

    We also decided we werent dealing with plastic utensils and plates; they just look too cheap. We are paying more for basic acrylic dinnerware. A bit more expense but we couldnt justify making that much trash.

    • Reply
  • Lauren
    VIP February 2020
    Lauren ·
    • Flag

    There were really only 2 things I nixed from the wedding.... playing "Here Comes the Bride" when I come down the aisle and playing "Rocky Top" (the song Tennessee plays 28398430982039 times at their sporting events) during the reception. My mom really wanted me to walk down to "Here Comes the Bride", but I hate that song! We're from Tennessee but are HUGE Alabama sports fans. A ton of our guests are UT fans so I know we'd have people request that song from the DJ. It's the one song I told the DJ he DEFINITELY could not play. Also, no cake smashing! I would love to do that to FH, but I'm not about to have him do it back to me and mess up my makeup!

    • Reply
  • S
    Expert October 2019
    Sara ·
    • Flag
    No drama!! My grandparents caused quite a scene at my cousins family a few years ago.. it was ugly. But now I just found out they’re not coming to my wedding so it should be smooth sailing from here on out 😎
    • Reply
  • NextChapterReady
    Super October 2019
    NextChapterReady ·
    • Flag

    I did not want guests directing the DJ and no rap music! We are basically going traditional and not having more modern takes on a wedding. Absolutely no open seating! A guest chart all the way for us haha

    • Reply
  • Vale
    Savvy October 2021
    Vale ·
    • Flag
    The only thing I don't want is drama, fighting, and messy drunks.
    • Reply

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