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Paige L.
Super January 2021

What things do you refuse to have at your wedding?

Paige L., on September 3, 2019 at 8:39 AM

Posted in Planning 271

Hi everyone! While wedding planning, I have noticed that if I try to focus on all of the things I would want in my dream wedding, I either get overwhelmed by the vision or sad to think that, no, I can't afford to rent the most beautiful china and glassware with matching sterling silver cutlery. What...

Hi everyone!

While wedding planning, I have noticed that if I try to focus on all of the things I would want in my dream wedding, I either get overwhelmed by the vision or sad to think that, no, I can't afford to rent the most beautiful china and glassware with matching sterling silver cutlery. What I find better is think of the things I refuse to have at my wedding! If I just make sure those things aren't a part of my day, I know I will have a great time.


What are some of the things you refuse to have at your wedding? For example, I HATE mashed potatoes and green beans (the texture just is so wrong to me), and my caterer will not be allowed to bring those within a 10-mile radius of my reception.

271 Comments

  • Ivy ORP
    VIP October 2019
    Ivy ORP ·
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    I have pictures of my little brother (9 at the time) who caught the garter and had to put it on a grown woman. And none of the adults found anything wrong with this??? I was too creeped out.

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  • Laura
    VIP November 2019
    Laura ·
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    No tosses, no booze, no group dances of any kind. And CERTAINLY no ‘obey’ in the vows. Despite the nonsense FH spews about it to get me riled up. No formal reception, no parents trying to dictate, we’ll, anything about the wedding. Huh. What’s left? My wedding sounds very naked suddenly!
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  • Yam
    VIP September 2019
    Yam ·
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    I lucked out and found a simple gold toned cake set in the clearance section, better than nothing! We’re the first in both families to even have a tiered cake and our friends tossed theirs so we couldn’t borrow one. Tbh I’ll probably forget mine and it’ll get tossed too!

    I’m sorry you had to go through that. I’m completely against those roles. If one partner wants to stay home and take care of the house that’s fine but it should be a mutual decision, not something assigned you know? My feminist mom was very cautious of who I dated, she didn’t want me to feel trapped like her mom did. I’ve been working hard on my vows to include all the promises I truly mean and with that came this hard look at marriage. But I think I’ve got it!

    Luckily we already booked her! Super sweet lady, she grows her own stuff to cut down on costs. It’s a small wedding but we still wanted a good meal so she worked within our budget and came up with ideas for both our diabetic and vegetarian guests. There’s plenty of food for everybody!
    • Reply
  • Yam
    VIP September 2019
    Yam ·
    • Flag
    Lol I’m so sad people hate mashed potatoes 😭 I love lumpy mash with country gravy, or buttery mashed sweet potatoes. FH hates mash too, breaks my spud loving heart
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  • Kelly
    Super October 2019
    Kelly ·
    • Flag
    I refuse the garter/bouquet toss.
    I had the obey removed the vows.
    I also had the part that says who gives this women away removed - I hate that. I’m not property to be given away.
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  • Martelle
    Devoted July 2019
    Martelle ·
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    It made my parents kind of sad, but I refused to have the chicken dance. I just cannot do it.

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  • Ivy ORP
    VIP October 2019
    Ivy ORP ·
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    YES!!! We were both married to men and ended up trying to fit into a role we were not comfortable with. In this relationship we allow room for the other to grow which makes us stronger together.

    I feel you on your guests wanting to kill. Several of my friends are really good home cooks, a couple are chefs. They would slap my make-up off if I allowed steamed bites of nothing in the shape of beautiful vegetables devoid of color. Luckily our caterer is on board with all our hors d'oeuvre ideas and not only makes it tasty but beautiful. And no garlic so my step-mom doesn't have to leave early to go to the ER.

    I think satin ribbon is great when done right. We saw a beautiful frame she would have loved for our wedding pictures but the background was burlap. WHY?????

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  • Paige L.
    Super January 2021
    Paige L. ·
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    That makes me very uncomfortable...I would never want my little brother to have to do that.

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  • Ivy ORP
    VIP October 2019
    Ivy ORP ·
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    More mashed spuds for US!!!! LOL

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  • Sharon
    Expert September 2021
    Sharon ·
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    Wait! What? People hate mashed potatoes?! I think they run through my veins, I love them that much! lol

    As far as my no list, no rustic anything, no burlap, no candy bar, no garter or bouquet toss (never was a fan), no cake smash, no "oh its fall, you must have pumpkin/fall colors/etc", no mason jars, no "bride/bridesmaid " personalized anything (when else would you ever use them?) no to a thousand little signs. we know your shenanigans will be photographed lol. And no drama (hopefully!!!)
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  • Ivy ORP
    VIP October 2019
    Ivy ORP ·
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    It was super cringy. I don't even know how I ended up with the pics. As a joke we're doing a garter toss at a pre-wedding get together but it will be all adults and no only if you're single nonsense.

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  • M
    VIP September 2019
    Mrs. Bubba ·
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    Oh, I have my Granny’s Cake set too!

    Congratulations!
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  • Samantha
    Rockstar October 2020
    Samantha ·
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    Absolutely! I think the garter toss is just plain gross.
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  • Yam
    VIP September 2019
    Yam ·
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    That’s so cool! I’m happy you guys found each other! ❤️ When I was younger I remember even back then struggling with what role to play, I felt because I was taller than g/f I had to assume a more masculine role. Now there’s none and it’s such a relief! FH is shorter than me, we’re equally as feminine. Neither of us fit the role so we decided we just wouldn’t have any, and it’s worked that way for years. I’m wondering what will change after the wedding, if anything.

    Steamed bites of nothing is exactly what they are! My gosh my hatred for mixed veg knows no bounds. I hate grey food! I feel like our menu was limited by the food restrictions so we couldn’t do a cocktail reception but oh man I would’ve loved one!! Give me bacon wrapped anything or shooters or a mashed potato bar!

    That’s how I felt buying anything. That’s cute-oh nevermind.
    • Reply
  • Madison
    Dedicated October 2019
    Madison ·
    • Flag
    I refuse to have a garter toss because I had a very traumatizing experience as an 11 year old jr bridesmaid who caught a bouquet at a wedding. (One of the groomsmen made a lude comment to me and I thought I was going to have to participate, flash to me sobbing in the bathroom scared out of my mind, mom had to console me).


    Ironically mashed potatoes are my favorite food and we have a mashed potato bar at our reception LOL
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  • Sara
    Expert September 2020
    Sara ·
    • Flag

    I refuse to have stress or to feel rushed! To accomplish this fiance and I will be waking up together and eating a great breakfast together, I will be turning my phone to silent, and we will not be having a wedding party.

    We will not be having any garter or bouquet toss.

    • Reply
  • J
    Expert May 2021
    Jaime ·
    • Flag

    We are definitely not doing the bouquet and garter toss. I'm not sure what else we aren't going to have... I don't think we will have signs at every turn.

    I am laughing at all the mashed potato hate. We won't be serving mashed potatoes as we preferred another potato side offered, but I had no idea so many were against them.

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  • Ivy ORP
    VIP October 2019
    Ivy ORP ·
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    I'm so glad you found each other too. I also thought I needed to be more masculine when I started dating women. Like I wanted to wear a dress now and then but since I'm 6' I felt protective and responsible for the "manlier" tasks. I definitely find myself in a more "feminine" role but she definitely loves tools more than me. lol

    I would love a mashed potato bar! We wanted a taco bar but decided it would just be too much at our venue. We make sinner out all appetizers now and then. It was one of the first decisions we made to have a cocktail party reception.

    Right!!! Oh and mason jars, she can't stand them! She will get excited about an idea until she sees it's a mason jar. Her sad face is super cute though.

    • Reply
  • Jess
    Expert October 2019
    Jess ·
    • Flag
    Were not doing a bouquet or garter toss and no alcohol!
    • Reply
  • Yam
    VIP September 2019
    Yam ·
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    I feel you there. I’m 5’8 and my g/f was like five foot nothing so I got pushed into the protective tough b/f role and man that is SO not me. FH and I are about equal when it comes to feminine and masculine traits, it’s really fun! My mom loves taking him shopping with her, he’s like her galpal.

    Oooh I wanted a taco bar too!! I just got too stuck on my theme. “But faeries wouldn’t eat tacos” ugh well maybe they would! Who doesn’t like tacos? But the food we chose is tasty so it’ll be fine.

    I might cave on mason jars in the ceremony to line the aisle runner. I don’t really like them bit they’re cheap. We’ll see!
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