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Paige L.
Super January 2021

What things do you refuse to have at your wedding?

Paige L., on September 3, 2019 at 8:39 AM

Posted in Planning 271

Hi everyone! While wedding planning, I have noticed that if I try to focus on all of the things I would want in my dream wedding, I either get overwhelmed by the vision or sad to think that, no, I can't afford to rent the most beautiful china and glassware with matching sterling silver cutlery. What...

Hi everyone!

While wedding planning, I have noticed that if I try to focus on all of the things I would want in my dream wedding, I either get overwhelmed by the vision or sad to think that, no, I can't afford to rent the most beautiful china and glassware with matching sterling silver cutlery. What I find better is think of the things I refuse to have at my wedding! If I just make sure those things aren't a part of my day, I know I will have a great time.


What are some of the things you refuse to have at your wedding? For example, I HATE mashed potatoes and green beans (the texture just is so wrong to me), and my caterer will not be allowed to bring those within a 10-mile radius of my reception.

271 Comments

  • Paige L.
    Super January 2021
    Paige L. ·
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    The garter toss has always creeped me out...I remember seeing it once as I child and never wanting to have anyone do that to me. Sweaty is right! Especially after a night of hard dancing,

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  • Chandra
    Master May 2019
    Chandra ·
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    We skipped the bouquet toss and garter toss. Tacky and icky to us!
    We had originally banned the cha cha slide or any group dances like that, but enough people asked us when the DJ refused we granted them 1 cha cha slide! Haha more people got up to dance than in figured would based on past experiences with it! My DAD got up to do it (apparently his 1st time???) Lol
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  • Wendy
    Dedicated April 2020
    Wendy ·
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    And I love this idea! I definitely can't afford all of the things I want on Pinterest!
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  • Paige L.
    Super January 2021
    Paige L. ·
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    Sounds a lot like my FH! His whole aim for this wedding is a high class affair (in his words) and does not want anything rustic like mason jars and burlap. My cousin did a rustic wedding however, and it looked so beautiful! She used wildflowers and lots of mason jars everywhere; I think if my FH had been able to see her wedding, he might think a little differently!

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  • Paige L.
    Super January 2021
    Paige L. ·
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    I know! Pinterest is full of such amazing, beautiful weddings, and while I know mine will be nice, it will be nothing like some of the weddings I've seen.

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  • Cher Horowitz
    Master December 2019
    Cher Horowitz ·
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    I refuse to have the garter toss. I don't like the idea of FH going up my dress in front of everyone

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  • Paige L.
    Super January 2021
    Paige L. ·
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    Ugh. I completely agree about the veggies! I found a caterer that brings a grill to the reception site as a way to cook the vegetables. They aren't steamed half to death and various shades of grey. They actually look like the bright vegetables I know and love.


    I so agree about there being no lines about obeying anyone in the ceremony. Like you said, we are equals with our FH.

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  • M
    VIP September 2019
    Mrs. Bubba ·
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    There will be NO Slides and no requests that are not on the playlist. Why? Because I’m paying to hear the 🎶 that I selected.
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  • Paige L.
    Super January 2021
    Paige L. ·
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    Who ever thought the garter toss was a good idea? It seems like everyone hates it and even when I've seen it at weddings, everyone watching just looks so uncomfortable.

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  • M
    VIP September 2019
    Mrs. Bubba ·
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    I’m not doing that either.

    Congratulations!
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  • Yam
    VIP September 2019
    Yam ·
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    Exactly! FH and I are strongly against traditional norms because we don’t fit into it anyway. We’re both bi, neither of us fits “the man” role of the relationship, so why have a ceremony that includes it? We both had to think about what we want in a marriage and it came down to we like the symbolism of unity and being recognized as an inseparable unit but we also acknowledge that marriage has some ugly history.

    Some of my guests are my fellow chefs, they would kill me if I served wasted ingredients like that lol

    I do wish burlap would go away at least a little. I had a really hard time finding wedding stuff in stores, even the cake knives were covered in it! I know satin ribbon stuff is kind of 90s but bring it back! At least I can touch it!
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  • Paige L.
    Super January 2021
    Paige L. ·
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    I feel like it happened as a way to make the ceremonies a little bit longer. If you aren't doing a long religious ceremony, the whole wedding can be done in about 10 minutes! Those unity ceremonies do act as a bit of a filler to fluff things out a bit.

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  • Daisy
    Savvy September 2019
    Daisy ·
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    We’ve banned all line dances because our wedding should not feel like a middle school dance or a cruise. We also won’t be doing a garter toss, mostly because I think his family would be horrified (most are LDS). I definitely don’t judge — my sister did the garter ritual — but I’d feel weird about a group of people watching us do something that’s kind of sexual. I’m almost 30 so maybe I’m just too old and uptight hahaa. We will do a bouquet toss, because I remember being a little girl and catching the bouquet was the most exciting thing that could happen at a wedding, but we probably won’t limit it to single women — just whoever want the bouquet! Lastly, no “unity” ritual (candle, sand, etc.) The wedding ceremony and vows are the symbol and declaration of our unity.
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  • Yam
    VIP September 2019
    Yam ·
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    Oh drool! I’d love grilled veggies. I don’t even used mixed veg at home, no way I’d have it at a wedding. Why take an ingredient bursting with flavor and steam all the flavor out of it? It makes no sense.
    My favorite veg is carrots roasted in the oven with seasalt and a touch of balsamic, they get sweeter and crispy on the outside! Love them. We picked our caterer because she grows all her vegetable herself, they were some tasty eats!
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  • Kim
    Super September 2019
    Kim ·
    • Flag
    The bouquet and garter toss! I've always cringed when I see these at weddings, specially if I am being forced to go up there. But why are people hating on line dancing? LOL
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  • Paige L.
    Super January 2021
    Paige L. ·
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    I am probably going to use some of my grandmother's antique cake-cutting implements because so many new ones are just, well, weird looking! We aren't doing a traditional cake, but I want them to be on display with the dessert table.


    My ex-FH was a very "traditional" man when it came to marriage, something I didn't find out until we were starting to plan our wedding. I am much happier now knowing that my current FH has a much more progressive view on what a marriage is. He and I are equal partners who bring different strengths into the relationship. We are better as a single unit, not as a dominating husband coupled with a subservient wife.


    I hope you find a great caterer to wow your chef friends! I think so many caterers get by serving mediocre crap because no one calls them out for it. I am sure some caterers would call me demanding, but if you are going to be charging me +$100/person for a meal, I expect palatable and appetizing food. I wish I could find a caterer that grew their own food! That would be so fresh and delicious. Store-bought can't beat home grown!

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  • Arkilia
    Super February 2021
    Arkilia ·
    • Flag
    I feel like my list is long after reading some of the ones above, I got even more ideas.
    No Candy Table
    No Hard liquor
    No Beyonce of any sort
    No garter/bouquet toss
    No grand entrance way too much attention
    No YMCA or Macarena
    No cake smashing
    No unity anything during ceremony
    No country chic anything
    No mashed potatoes
    No money dance
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  • Nicole
    Devoted September 2019
    Nicole ·
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    No garter or bouquet toss, no FOB & MOG dance, no send off
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  • Paige L.
    Super January 2021
    Paige L. ·
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    I am glad someone else is refusing mashed potatoes!! I find them so gross to eat, even the homemade ones on Thanksgiving.


    I also don't want a grand entrance. I hate being the center of attention and it would make me so embarrassed. I think my FH and I will just do a receiving line from the cocktail hour into the reception, that way everyone has already seen us before the reception even begins.

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  • Arkilia
    Super February 2021
    Arkilia ·
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    We were thinking about greeting them as they went to the buffet line.
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