*Update* To upgrade ring or not

How is this upgrade being accomplished. Is there a special deal through the company that you get back exactly what you pay for it if you upgrade? Otherwise most of the time you are not going to get back what you paid for it. If you do the math of the long term cost you are most likely going to figure out that it is ALOT cheaper to put the money into a savings account (and earn interest) every year rather then selling back your diamond for a bigger one every year.

Also your married - you do realize that him "spoiling" you is basically the same as buying it yourself right... unless your money is completely separate - to sell your diamond and buy a new one thats only 1/4 carat larger seems like throwing money out the door because you couldn't wait.

@Sarah nice ring. That's what we are working up to a 2 carat IF so you should know it is expensive to buy so he proposed the .25 upgrade a year. We may save up as some years we won't find the perfect diamond. It may end up every other year. Who knows but I love quality diamonds so I will be upgrading!! : )

I agree with Desiree; just save the money each year until you have enough for the 2 carat you want. Going up in increments doesn't seem as gratifying as upgrading to a ring 6 times larger than the one you have.

@Reenski yes, we travel to different states, go to little shops, buy keepsakes, and make an event of it. I think that's pretty sentimental. And like I said my daughter likes jewelry too.

@Katie my diamond was bought wholesale and yes I get the full amount back and can spend it there or sell it and buy somewhere else. It is spoiling me because its not a "need" and it wasn't my idea. It was my husband's way of saying, " Hey I can't get a 2 carat internally flawless diamond now but I will work my hardest at getting you a little closer each year." Sorry but that's pretty darn sweet if you ask me!

Maybe it's just me, but if you decide to upgrade it every year even to pass on to your daughter, it seems to me that you are setting it up so she'll want something bigger every year when she grows up, or that she'll expect to be treated/spoiled this way in the future. And I don't think that's a good thing, it seems like it would encourage materialistic tendencies.

I'm an only child, I'm spoiled, trust me, but even I know that I have to work for anything I want and I don't expect anyone to hand me anything.

Make a sentimental story out of traveling together and exploring and finding keepsakes as a family, out of spending time together, not out of traveling for the sake of getting a better diamond ring. Those are two separate things in my book.

@Reenski I agree and disagree respectfully. My daughter came with us when we went shopping for my diamond the first time so it is and will be a family tradition. Could it possibly make her materialistic, no. Because she is not raised that way. What she takes away from it is the thoughtfulness behind it. I would hope her step-father's actions shows her just the opposite of being materlistic. He is doing it out of love and I would want her future husband to strive to provide her with the finest things he could too.

Disagree here, your not being spoiled if your H wants to give you a gift whatever it is because if thats the case tommorow there will be a lot of spoiled ladies and gents! LOL

PS I think upgrading your jewelry has nothing to do with the upbringing of your daughter, if anything it shows your children that if you work hard one day you can nice things.

@Moria, agreed! Thx. Just like my china. I want to pass nice things down to my daughter. And I don't even celebrate vday. Never have because I believe you should love 365!!

This is yet another example of when someone posts a question asking what they should do when they already have their mind made up. Why bother asking people if you should or shouldn't continuously upgrade your ring? Every time someone gives a reason for the contrary, you disagree and tell them why you're going to do it instead.

I'm not saying that you shouldn't do what you want. It is your ring and you and your husband's money. It should be your choice but why even ask this question if your mind is so clearly made up? Are you just trying to use this post to "brag" about how your husband "spoils" you?

I'll never understand why people do this....

My ring holds a speciAl value it'll lose the sentimental value if you're constantly going bigger and better, it's just not the same.

I think to upgrade for your future daughter is ridiculous. Who says she doesn't gets married at 25 an you're still alive and married, then what's the point. The decision should be for you, not her.

It kinda sounds like your husband thinks your a gold digger or something, mine would never go for that, not that he doesn't love me but we have no need to express love by giving each other money.

Marriage isn't about what the other will spend on you or what your husband can afford, I'd much rather put that extra money into a savings acct for my kids wedding or for college.

Or put it toward a family vacation?

Also why ask us if you're dead set on you deserve it and its what you want, you argue about why it's okay, clearly our opinions don't matter. I kinda feel this is more of a bragging post than anything...

There are a lot of things I deserve... Just because I do doesn't mean I feel entitled to get them.

I don't believe wholesale makes it unable to be a blood diamond,you need certification it's not. Actually the cheaper it is the more likely it is to be one.

@MrsO no, I don't have my mind made up. All of my responses are stating very clearly that I can see the pro and con in upgrading. I said after discussing that I decided to upgrade but not every year and that saving up might be a better idea.

All of the ladies brought up very valid points and discourse provides discovery. I learned a lot and am thankful for the comments. If I wanted to brag I would post a comment entitled "Just for Brags." lol

I think it would be worth it only if you weren't trading in the old ones. If you are spending so much time & effort custom making & finding the perfect diamond, why would you ever want to trade it in? That way twenty years from now you would have twenty different diamonds with twenty different stories behind them.

I'm glad MrsO said exactly what I wanted to from the beginning.

And good points Reenski!! Watching my parents' marriage while I was growing up and them going through ups and downs and loving me is much more special to me than if I had seen my mom get a different ring every year. That's not what a marriage is about.

@ Michelle I don't know if you are familar with GIA but they are conflict free and I don't know gold diggers with a .33 carat ring.

Thanks for the ladies that provided thoughts and comments and sorry to those that thought I was bragging about .25 carat?? Seriously, that's nothing to brag about.

I think the bragging comes in at the getting an upgraded ring every year, not carat size...

I still say do what you want.. Your ring, your money, your life!! I know we post on here to get ideas/help but for it to go a negative way when you're just asking for advice is not right..we need to respect each others decisions whether we agree or not!! Not our ring, not our decision so who cares.. @ Kali p.., like I said do what makes you happy, hope that some advice helped you on here :-)

@Val thank you and yes it did help me! I was looking for thoughts and am not into negativity so I tried to reiterate that several times. So thank you for reinforcing it : )

The bragging isn't the size, you've mentioned clarity over an over and how it's hard to find, and you've mentioned how he has money to

Do it... There's a few other things.

The gold digger comment came about because it sounds like he feels the need to constantly spend that kind I money on you. The average man doesn't feel the need to constantly do that. You may get a $200 necklace every year but not a couple thousand dollar ring....

It really does sound like he thinks the way to your heart is through the checkbook

When you ask for thoughts, you get thoughts, not rainbows and unicorns. We gave you our thoughts on the whole matter, which is what you asked for, and those thoughts include things that you may not like -- doesn't make it negative, makes it honest. If you don't want all thoughts, you can't ask strangers on the internet what they think.

The thing is that the OP asked for opinions. "Thoughts?" And so everyone did.

Also, in the post she said "the only reason I would upgrade is for my daughter" I'm confused since upgrading every single year would produce 10 rings or more by the time your daughter gets married and she may not be interested in any of them. I love my mom's ring but it's not my style.