*Update* To upgrade ring or not

I'm with Paris. I never plan to upgrade my ring, although the main stone is not a diamond, it's his birthstone, there are diamonds on the ring (including two which are the color of my birthstone). The importance is in that's what FH chose, it's the one he gave to me. It could have been $50 or $50000 (I don't know and I plan on never knowing). I don't care, it's the thought and the sentiment, not the money value.

Why don't you all put the money aside to save up for the ring you do want? Say the next upgrade will be, I dunno, 3k. Why not put that 3k away and the next year another 3k and the next year another 3k so on and so forth. In no time you'll be able to get that ring you want (which sounds super nice btw)

I love the ring I have. But it's up to you. I just think if you put money aside instead of buying one every year you'll be more than able to get the ring of your choosing in 3-4 years.

@RayRay you're right its not a need. I need my husband's love and deserve it however he chooses to show it. thx.

And I still don't see how annual upgrades are cheaper. We don't know future diamond prices, so there's no way of knowing it's actually going to be more cost effective.

Also, as far as leaving it to your daughter goes, it really is about sentimental value and not the financial one. What if something happens to the stone in meantime? What if your daughter absolutely refuses to wear a diamond?

I wouldn't ever upgrade my ring...i dunno, it's just the sentiment of it. Maybe for our anniversary (like 5, 10, 20)- I'll get an additional wedding band (so I have one for both sides), or just some other jewelry...but I'd probably rather have something for the house.

What if you have a daughter that's like me and doesn't give two craps about jewelry in general, much less diamonds?

Let me add, you asked our thoughts, the majority of us don't see any need to upgrade annually -- upgrade once a few years down the road, sure, but annually? Way too many variables like Mrs. S mentioned.

I don't see the problem with upgrading.. I would say instead of upgrading every year upgrade until you feel like your diamond is just the right size that you will love it and stay happy with it., I know my fiancé was thinking about upgrading my diamond as well and he too chose quality over size although it just under 1 Carat we would love to have at least a 1 to 1.5.. I'm sure you can trade your stone in and they will just make you pay the difference on the new stone...and I think it's a sweet idea to give it to your daughter one day. do what you want and it's ok to be spoiled at times.. We all deserve it :-)

@Reenski a little background my daughter is from a previous marriage and is 12. She loves diamonds and creates her own jewelry. So, its like a gift that I know will be meaningful to her in the future.

Saving up every year is a great option.

@Val thanks! My thoughts exactly! I didn't start with a carat I started with 1/3 and if he wants to spoil me why not. Also your ring is lovely!

@Reenski yes, it would appear most women think its silly : )

I also have nothing against upgrading -- it's not for me, but there's nothing wrong with upgrading. It's the doing it every year thing that most of us seem to think is too much. Being spoiled EVERY year? I mean, we're grown. That's too much.

And personally, I would rather be spoiled with a few surprise dates, a flower here and there, etc. than with a "bigger, better" diamond each year.

I would never want an upgrade, the rings I have are sentimental. If I upgraded what could I tell my daughter? Oh this is the ring I got at the store? Not this is the ring your dad proposed with.

My friends husband took her ring out of her jewelry box at 25 years and upgraded without her knowing. She bawled for weeks.

Yeah, it is a bit much. I agree....

Ohhhh, MJ, that's so sad! I'm sure he thought he was doing something very nice and special but I can imagine how upset I would be when you haven't prepared/discussed something like that!

MJ my dad did the same thing. My mom left him for a few months (cause he's an ass) When she came back he upgraded her ring at their next anniversary. It is now about tripple the size and the 3 diamonds on each side are about the size of the original stone. I think it looks tacky and liked the simple one better. Of course that was after like 25yrs of marriage and a 3 mth seperation.

My bestfriend got a new ring at 5 years. But she never liked the first one (it was set in, very thoughtful of fiance at the time as she was going to school to horseshoe, but after MS diagnosis and 2 kids she is't working with horses and worried about a diamond getting kicked off, so her got her the kind she wanted)

I personally wouldn't upgrade, but I also started out with a flawless 2c diamond ring. Since it can be so hard to find the perfect diamond I would think upgrading less frequently would be better. It's all about what you like in the end. If you love going to pick out the diamon every year than you should do it!

Rayray, Yes he thought he was because they had so many struggles all their life. He took the ring and had it back in one day. She says she never should have taken it off and it has been 15 years since then. They did try to get it back but the jeweler could not tell them which stone was hers exactly. He went on to get her a pendant for the 30th. Then there was earrings for the 35th. This year is 40 I hope he does not try to upgrade. If he just would have asked even I could have told him bad idea.

@MJ my rings are sentimental too as I am sure every woman's rings are. My ring was custom designed. We bought my diamond loose and spent a lot of time finding the right stone. We bought my wedding band at Roger's and Holland but the upgraded stone will be an adventure finding. Its a process finding an IF diamond and a great sentimental story to be told to my daughter as we embark on shopping for it.

I would never want to upgrade my ring. I love my ring and the thought of not having it or trading it in for something bigger makes me sad. I don't care how big or how expensive my ring is, I care about the meaning behind it. FH picked my ring out all by himself and put a lot of time into it. If you want something bigger then I would save up and do it once not every year, I just think that seems a bit excessive and not neccessary.

I want to make sure I understand -- the sentimental story behind the ring you'll have however many years down the road is about how much of a process it is to find a perfect diamond?