Stop asking for money (Rant!)

I feel guilty asking for money anyways, but FMIL is still nagging me to make it official; money instead of presents. Even though ive told her each time, NO, i dont want people giving me money. Presents are really not expected either, just their "presence" is fine by me.

Thread jack..while we are on the topic, do you ladies think it is tacky if on my wedding website in the registry section I put something like "If you choose to give a gift please consider ordering online as we have limited travel space" (or something like that)..FH and I will be flying, plus having to pack for cold weather and Florida weather..but I do know and understand some people refuse to shop online, that's why the please consider.

@ Ab - Doesnt sound tacky, just a fact.

@ Ab Z~I don't think that's tacky at all so much as an exercise in pragmatism Haha I think it would be *slightly* tacky if guests thought that was rude, as it is only reasonable to assume you're not going to be able to fit the ten toasters that I'm sure you asked for in your luggage

Ab. Z - on a store registry, e.g., Bed Bath & Beyond, you tell the store where you want them to send your gifts. You could do the same thing on your website registry. We asked people to send things to FMIL's address while we'll be away.

Is that what you mean?

Double post. Doh!

@ J&R S. ~ I think she meant instead of having the guests going into the stores and buying it in person so that they could bring a physical item to the wedding.

I know some people feel weird about showing up to these things "empty handed", but I think when it comes to these exceptional cases (like destination weddings), it is understandable for the B&G to ask for guests to just order online and have them shipped to their address instead.

Ah, thanks Esther. I think it applies either way, though. If you go to a store *and tell them* you're buying off someone's registry, the store will inform you that the bride and groom have requested that all gifts be sent to X address. Of course, if the guests don't tell the store they are buying something from the registry, they'll never know.

Well we are both in the military and I recently made a post about this issue today. If my guest have a problem with our lifestyle and can't understand our situation then so be it. My FH and I fight to protect everyone in this country as well as others and if we want to have online gift/cash registry then we should be able to do so without being judged for it. Yes we are going to have a "regular" registry at some "traditional" store so those who are too offended to give us the money can actually spend it on a gift we may never get to use. :-/ go figure

Okay thanks!

I don't think there is anything wrong with HM registries. We have it because Sandals allows it. And it's only $25 gift cards. But cash, no I'm not a fan of that at all. I'm also not a fan of the Money Dance, but that's me.

I have not registered anywhere. We have been married for 3 years so this is a renewal. I don't really care about gifts or cash. Im having the wedding and vacation I can afford. Of course gifts/cash would be nice but I rather my guest spend their money coming to the wedding being that most of my guests are OOT.

Rashan, I'm prior service and my husband is still active duty. However I still think asking for cash is a no-no. Your friends and family know your situation and will act accordingly you dont have to ask them or make them feel obligated. Its easy to go to macys or some other department store and find a gift that looks amazing and is on sale and much cheaper than its value. With cash their is no wiggle room. Yo can spend 30 bucks and get a nice wedding gift. Putting 30 bucks in a card looks a bit cheap even though that maybe all the person can afford. Personally I have cristal taste on a beer budget. So I got married in 08 at the courthouse. Now that I can afford it I'm having the wedding that I want. I set my budget to do it with no help and lo and behold some family members offered. Give people the benefit of the doubt

Yes, in my Italian American culture, it is tacky to ask for money in any way shape or form. Having typed that, we give cash for weddings. Gifts are given for engagement parties and bridal showers. You actually look odd or cheap if you show up with a wrapped package at one of our weddings(Even if you have an envelope of cash.)

For me, the jury is still out on honeymoon registries. I am not quite sure how I feel about it. Usually, that is what your wedding cash gifts are for.

The first time around, in 1982, only the very wealthy registered. My ex came from a wealthy family. I did not register as my mother thought it rude. She feels that it the MOB's job to keep track. What can I say, old school?

We are having a DW. We have not registered and will not have a card box or a bridal purse. To us, attending is our gift. Having a card box would be presumptuous for us.

Esther....LMAO If the person that died is young, we also put cash in envelopes(along with the Mass Card)

@ J&R S. ~ Hmm~I never knew that registries gave you that option, but I think that's a great thing to know

I think requesting/asking for money is tacky. If it's really what you want you need to do it work of mouth with family and bridal party. However most of the weddings I've attended most people give money rather than gifts. What I don't understand is why bride/groom would have a registry if you don't want "gifts" and would prefer money. Can you close down the registry site after the bridal showers?

I understand what you're saying, and while I agree with the sentiment about not ASKING for cash, my FH and I aren't really registering.

We signed up with a wishing well, where people can donate toward our honeymoon events (ie. a romantic dinner $75, jet ski rental $50, spa day $200, etc.) It's items, but not specific items like a registry.

We have lived together for 3 years. I already have everything and anything I could possibly need for my home in triplicate! In fact, I just cleaned out my attic last month and am working on my kitchen junk cabinets.

However, we will clearly state on our website that we already have everything we need, and if you see something you really think we would like, we will accept gifts. We set up the wishing well to give people something to contribute to. They can donate to the well or they can donate to the ASPCA, the charity we decided to support.

We decided all that last night, BTW. Everything is a work in progress!

Rachel I love the charity idea- I often refer brides to charities when they say they have everything they need.

But honestly ladies, you don't have everything! You don't have a beautiful wedding album or picture frames that match your wedding theme. Maybe it's time to chuck the old coffee maker and upgrade to a new espresso maker. Did you buy your towels at Target in 2002 when you first moved into your own place? Register for new cushy hotel bath towels. Want a Wii or a PS2 for the family to play? Register for it.

Upgrading your kitchen? Register at Home Depot for a faucet, a microwave, an oven. Get creative!

There's something you need, something you want, and someone that wants to give it to you for your wedding. So let them do it

Of course it is tacky! Believe me I am in no way shape or form expecting guests to bring me any gifts or money for the wedding ... I would not expect a gift or money if I was having a party in my own home.

I can honestly say I expect no money and very few gifts ... their presence is enough for me