Reception Ideas... with out alcohol and secular music

Are all of your guests also non-drinkers and only listen to Christian music? The reception isn't about you, that's what the ceremony is for. The reception is about entertaining your guests.

Just because you're a vegetarian, doesn't mean you feed your guests tofu. Just because you worship satan, doesn't mean you make everyone bow their heads in a prayer to him. Just because you enjoy square dancing, doesn't mean you should have a ho-down!

Don't visit YOUR preferences on your guests, anticipate theirs. If all/a majority of your guests are teetotalers, and they hate all secular music, then I guess go for it. Otherwise, you may have a very short reception. I wouldn't stay. =(

I went to a wedding where the bride was a vegetarian...so she only served vegetarian food....people were NOT pleased...

I'm afraid I have to agree with Jen....yes it is your day....but you have invited guests that you are obligated to entertain.

I've been to 2 weddings that were both very religous. Ceremony and reception were both in the church and there was no drinking or no dancing because of religous reasons. There was food and soft drinks and I thought that was fine. Everyone is different.

I tried to tell him people arent goin have fun and they willl leave. but he is so hardheaded that he probally wont budge .. we havent done a whole lot of planning but getting other ideas helps..

thanks guys

I think it sounds like a day reception would be best. Something between meal times where it can be short and more if a cocktail party atmosphere. You can serve desserts and some finger foods. You can serve punch if you are having a dry reception.

Or have a morning ceremony and a brunch reception.

I understand you Ashley. My FH and I are both Christians and there are things that we don't adhere to NO MATTER WHAT. Nonetheless for the wedding, while we aren't drinking, we are planning on having a bar that caters to all tastes. For the music you could do instrumentals versions of non Christian tunes if the words are what you are concerned about. I do think as a poster before mentioned is that it would be easier to have the wedding you envision if you go with an afternoon or early morning event. Guests at evening weddings expect a more typical party atmosphere.

I think that it's YOUR wedding, and you can do whatever you want! I don't see the problem with the no alcohol if that's what you believe in, or if that's what is "needed." Just know that people probably won't stick around as long without music and (probably) no alcohol. So, if you want your reception to last for hours, it probably won't happen. I agree with Hayley. If you are going this route, a daytime reception between meal times would be a great idea. I LOVE the desserts and finger food idea. I don't know about your area, but in my area, there is a DJ who advertises to be a Christian DJ...plays Christian music. Maybe check to see if you have someone like that in your area?

Having a singer or a band is not a bad alternative. Just make sure they're really good and can play everything you want. Otherwise, maybe an ipod/mp3 player hooked up to some speakers? I've only been to one "religious" wedding and it was kind of fun. the bride and groom did a buffet style reception I think at a community center, had everyone pick their seats and had a variety of music and not just "christian" stuff only.

Just remember, the wedding is supposed to represent BOTH of you. Not just him. If you both don't drink, have some tea/coffee/water/fruit punch available. If one of you is vegetarian but the other loves meat, why not have plenty of meats and a salad or two if budget allows?

As much as everyone tells you that it's 'your wedding' it's not, really....it's everyone's wedding once you have chosen to invite them. With no music and no alcohol, plan a short, afternoon reception with punch, cake and a couple of dances. Unless your entire crowd thinks like you, they are not going to think of this as a party, especially with a string band and a singer. I'm sorry, if I was invited, I'd stay for the ceremony and politely excuse myself afterwards.

Part of hosting a wedding is being a good host to people who are not exactly like you. Not to sound mean, but your FH needs a reality check.

I agree with Haley and suggest a morning/afternoon wedding would be best. If you don't want alcohol, that's fine. Have plenty to drink such as punch, lemonade, soda, tea, etc. And you could do background music such as classical or jazz or some of your Christian favorites. I would just make sure that you're aware that guests may leave early. As someone early in my planning told me, the reception is the first party we, as a couple, throw for our family and friends. It's not a party for us, it's a party for them.

I love the opinions on WW.

So here is mine, I think you can do your first dance with christian music and have an afternoon wedding. You don't have to provide alcohol but you should not make your guests listen to secular music. This is your day and this is why you get to have any color, dress, flowers location etc, but you are also sharing this day with your loved ones.

If your preference is to not have alcohol or secular music, you could have an early ceremony (as some have said). Does your church have a band? My church has musicians who play during service (guitar, key board, drums, bass) and they really sound good. If yours does too, maybe you could hire them for a small fee and then they would already have a slew of appropriate songs to choose from and you could have music. It is not a necessity that you serve alcohol. I keep hearing that the reception is for the guest, not you but in researching I haven't seen anywhere that it's written in stone that your reception has to be only what your guest would want to have a good time. Now a good hostess would want her guests to have an enjoyable time I agree, but I disagree that you should go against your grain just to insure that those in attendance will have a good time. I have had GREAT times at parties that didn't serve one ounce of alcohol nor had secular music. Do what is morally con't

Best for you and your FH, inform your guest and those who don't want to be a part of it, will just miss out, but you will also know that those in attendance will be those whose first priority is celebrating with you and your FH the declaration of the love you have for each other.

Just make sure you have a variety of other things for them to drink or even make non alcoholic versions of real cocktails.

Double Post

Celia and Jen H hit the nail right on the head. It's not your day or his day, it's about the people who take the time to be there for you.

I will take the other side for sure...and say it is YOUR day. Not because I know how everyone thinks, but because I know how I think. I would never be upset or have bad feelings about what food is served, what songs are played, what dances are done on another persons wedding..never. For me to have been invited is enough to come and be happy for you....because it is not my day but yours.

Now I may not enjoy it(if i am a drinker or secular music dancer--in this case), and so may leave early but that doesn't mean I would want you to change anything because of me, I play the side of...it is your day no matter what, do what you like and I will be happy for you.

Just because it is a spiritual belief thing, I'd say stand firmly on what you believe(whatever that might be), people will understand and if they dont, sometime in the future they will get over it

Like I said, this is how I think as a guest..

You know what? If it's going to be just your day, make it just your your day. Have a private ceremony with with your closest family who will have a ball no matter what choices you make. We do a LOT of elopement ceremonies that are very, very sweet and meaningful; many of them have under 10 guests, a cake and a non alcoholic toast and they are just as married as anyone else.

Once you invite other people, expect them to dress up, take a day, possibly get a babysitter, buy a gift and travel, it's not about 'your day' anymore. It's about being a gracious host.

I'm sure you can come up with some good christian music that will be fun to dance to. There are good christian bands out there that will give you options. You could also see if he would be willing to allow pre-approves secular music that people can have fun with, but that doesn't send any messages that are against your beliefs. Cheesy songs like footloose and the cha cha slide can get people up and dancing. Most of the weddings I've been too haven't had alcohol, it's all about the bride and groom's preference. Sparkling juice works great for toasting and it's cheap enough you could just put a couple bottle on each table so you don't have to have it served out.

Realistically, unless you plan something completely off the wall, if you don't have music you can dance to, everyone will leave after all the official wedding stuff is over with. I also think how long the party will last will also depend on how large of a christian group will be there that can have fun in that situation.

And I believe it is YOUR'S and YOUR FH's day. Do everything that will make it special for you, people CAN have fun without alcohol and bumping and grinding. It is a celebration that represents your future marriage, so do what feels appropriate.

+1 Haley and Kathleen.