Reception Ideas... with out alcohol and secular music

Why is it that in these conversations, it turns to drinking=getting wasted and dancing=bumping & grinding? Most grown ups can enjoy a drink or so without "getting wasted" and there are about a gazillion ways to dance, that aren't "bumping and grinding."

Can people have fun without booze? Sure! I do it all the time! But put together a bunch of strangers and you'll get quicker interactions with a drink or two. Same with dancing. People will get a little more loose with a fun song they know.

I'm with Hayley, if you are adament against booze and secular music, do an afternoon punch & cake thing. Or go with Celia and have the small, intimate wedding YOU want with a small group who share your interests.

It's your day, do what makes you and FH happy. Just realize if your guest are bored, they won't stick around long. I'm a christian but even I think some of the lyrics in christian music can sometimes be a little off putting...I have been in stores before and walked out because the words were offensive to me.

Have you thought of hiring a harp player for the reception? With the right song selection you could maybe come up with a compromise. Harps are very elegant. I think your best bet regardless of what instrument would be to play some older christian music that most everyone would recognize. I would also probably just go for instrumental though for sure. But hey that is just my opinion and what I would do.

I agree with Jen H and Celia. An afternoon reception would seem to work best in your scenario. If I were invited to an evening reception I would expect dancing to secular music.

With an afternoon reception you can get away with having classical music or something similiar.

Good luck and happy planning.

What Hayley and Jen H said. PERIOD

Wow. Just because it might make other people feel bad, doesn't mean she should budge on her beliefs. If they don't listen to secular music and it goes against her beliefs, why should she play it at her wedding? I don't eat pork and seafood. A lot of my guests do. But that would be against my religion and so it's not getting served. One of my friends is Mormon and it's against their religion to dirnk. They didn't have alcohol at his sisters wedding....because that would go against their beliefs!

Ashley, I think you guys need to do what makes you feel right. I like the idea of having a later afternoon reception, before dinner with sparkling apple/grape juice, punch, cake, and other deserts. Classy music playing in the background, you guys can still do your special dances, and whatever you like. You need to be understanding of your guests, but don't change your morals for them! The wedding DOES need to reflect you and FH.

ALina I think what most people are trying to say is it would be better for the wedding to be in the afternoon. People are also giving her good advice.

If most people don't have the same beliefs and she's throwing a party where she invites those people they may leave early, or feel isolated.

I don't really see how playing the Chicken Dance or Footloose is compromising your religious beliefs. We're not saying "hey! play Sex You Up and Bump and Grind!" But there are secular songs that don't drip of sex and satan.

The wedding and reception should absolutely reflect you and your new spouse, but your guests should be #1 in your mind for the reception. Is there no wiggle room? Or do the songs all have to be about Jesus? As a non-christian, it would get old after a while, unless it was just instrumentals, then I wouldn't even know.

You can please some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time...but you can't please all of the people all of the time.

I say do what feels right to you. A singer and a band to play whatever list you want sounds like a GREAT idea to me. You'll remember this day a lot longer than any of your guests, no matter what choice you make.

As a very not-religious person I can tell you i would most definitely leave your reception if the music kept mentioning god/jesus/etc.

As someone else said, if there where no words I'm sure i couldn't tell, but there are a lot of good music that is not offensive, maybe no praising, but not talking about bump a grind. A lot of swing music is really fun and a lot of people know at least basic swing moves.

I think you should keep within your religious beliefs, but you have to realize and accept that not everyone has your beliefs and people may not stay.

I like Hayleys Ideas and she is helpful without being a bit rude. But you will get lots of different opinions here. I have stressed over this and that making sure everything is good enough for my friends and family for the wedding and reception. Everyone has said to me "this is your guys day, do what makes you happy, we are happy just to be there to enjoy it with you."

Here's some advice from a gal who has been singing at weddings and receptions for more years than I care to say (almost up to 300 weddings now):

If you find a GOOD band who is experienced at playing many different kinds of music, and you work closely with them, they can play music from any decade or genre, but keep the lyrics appropriate for your beliefs. There are many contemporary christian songs that are fantastic dance tunes! And there are many rock, pop, and club tunes that can be done as instrumentals, or the lyrics can be changed EVER so slightly, and wha-lah! They are family friendly!

If you don't want to have dancing, then you should plan your reception thusly. I highly recommend that you hire an experienced event planner to help you create the event that works for you, and will also be a memorable experience for your guests.

You can have a fantastic reception/party and still maintain your standards and beliefs.

Good luck to you, and congratulations!

Worst wedding I've ever been to? No alcohol and no dancing. Everyone left by 8pm. If your guests are like you and non-drinkers and only like Christian music then, by all means, have the wedding you want. Also, don't forget that this is your FH's wedding too so listen to what he wants too. You're in this together!

I do have to admit though, I love a good string trio.

I love the idea of a brunch reception.

Or, you could so something totally off the wall: my Mormon friends gathered everyone (including those who aren't Mormon and not permitted to attend the ceremony) and took over an ice cream shop. They paid for all the desserts, had the space set up with their decor, everyone had treats and enjoyed each others' company, and it made for some really cool and different photo ops. By taking the religious aspects or focusing on what they will/will not do at the party out of the equation, it was just plain fun for all (though short at just over an hour long). Mix it up!

I think if you get a live band like swing dancing, people will have a great time!!!! I'm 25 and I know I would have a great time, even without alcohol. Maybe you can offer wine, Jesus drank a little wine, Not to get wasted but possibly with dinner. My best friend is christian and so is her husband, they had no alcohol at their wedding and it was still fun!! Maybe just don't have a super long reception but I disagree that it has to be a morning/ afternoon reception, Do a night reception if you want. Its your family that will be at your wedding, I'm sure they will not care. Maybe a photo booth, I just say make sure you have something to entertain the guest, since it looks like you might not be having a DJ. It can totally be done!

Have you considered an afternoon wedding set up, maybe barbecue style or tea party style? So eating outside on a really scenic lawn soft classical music ( virtually all classic is religious) ? You could do your first dance and maybe a nice waltz for the guests, but nothing crazy? Then set up some fun Stuff on the lawn, lawn darts, croquet, bean bag toss etc. Do an ice cream sundae station, root beer float bar, something interactive for dessert .

I drink and I dance but it doesn't mean I'm opposed to other forms of celebration . Good luck!

I'd look for a unique venue, typical wedding venues have a big bar and big dance floor, it causes certain expectations. Pick a neat place like a poster mentioned above an ice cream parlor, butterfly habitat, botanical garden, auto museum etc

I think the string quartet might be a bit boring after the ceremony....so maybe a group that plays Big Band music from the swing era

You asked for ideas...here's some:

1. Photo booth

2. Dollar Dance

3. Limbo

4. Video montage of you and your FH from birth to now

5. Have a casual outdoor reception where guests can play outdoor games like crochet and that beanbag toss game

6. Have virgin mixed drinks with umbrellas and a signature one that you and your FH make up

7. Start with a cool theme like a masquerade party, Hawaiian pig roast, Sock Hop (poodle skirts, milkshakes, cheese burgers and fries, pictures with a 1954 Red Chevy, and different colored soda pop) or something that will take people's minds off the things they expect

8. Put a different flavored small cake on each table and have guests go around and try them all

9. Have a red carpet with a cool back drop and ropes instead of the classic photo booth

10. Get a singing group, entertainment group, or a dance troop to perform

Everyone has suggested the shorter or more intimate reception, so that's always an option.

Rocking out to Christian tunes are also an option. For anyone who's been to a contemporary service these days there are plenty of Christian bands you wouldn't even know are Christian. Flyleaf, Skillet, etc.

With a lil more rock type music or the like you can still have a normal reception if you'd like.

You want to take into consideration what your guests would like, as long as it doesn't compromise any strong belief you have.

Just let them know what you're offering for the reception, and then they decide if they are good with it or not.

DBL post

The early afternoon cocktail receptions seems like it would be best for you, it's what we're doing as well. We aren't having alcohol (which is a GOD SEND because the last wedding everyone attended was a disaster due to people getting out of control) and aren't having dancing.

You could have fun finger foods so that you don't have to have a full course mean, lots of mingle room, a photo booth set up or a photographer willing to do that themselves, interesting guest book pages and advise sheets, and some good music.

As for the "you're suppose to entertain your guests" part it is partially true but not entirely. You're a vegetarian but all of your guests won't be. So in a coctail reception you can offer things that are yummy, but not meaty like fruit kabobs, cookies, cake/cupcakes, ect. I'm massively allergic to chocolate but we're still offering chocolate deserts for the guests. I just obviously won't be eating any of it. And christian music can be fun. Look into some contempory stuff