Realizing my budget is extremely unrealistic.... I'm gonna go broke.

Food and drink were my priorities for my guests. A dinner, on that budget, doesn't really seem realistic for 75 people. Let's estimate that 15% of your list doesn't attend. That's still 63 people. Let's guess it's $10 a person, that's already over your budget for food.

If you demand dinner, then you need to change your date so you all can save up enough for it. Otherwise, you need to agree on heavy appetizers.

Inspiration pics? That would help more with getting an idea of what you're trying to achieve. My FH is stationed in NC, so we did some researching for prices down there when we first got engaged. I have an inkling that you want what I wanted. We ended up deciding to not make it a destination wedding for our friends and family, but I still have some ideas of what things will probably cost. FYI photography will probably be closer to $1200 or more for 6 to 8 hours of photography if you want professional photography.

The best way to cut is from the guest list.

Your catering cost is too low. It will be higher than that.

You are also low balling your DJ. Do you have a friend that can do it? Would you consider Ipod music with a friend acting as MC?

DIY invite kits from Michaels printed at Staples or the freebies from Vista Print. Get to know VistaPrint, the freebies are a bride's best friend.

DIY your decor w/ purchases on ebay, Craigs Lists and using coupons at Michaels, etc.

Check the pre-owned sites for your wedding gown or catch one of David's Bridal sales.

Being able to provide your own alcohol and keeping it simple will save money. I would do kegs of beer and a house sangria with perhaps a pre-mixed signature drink that you could put in beverage dispensers. Avoid the bottled malt liquo beverages.

Check everywhere for used table linens.

Check the price difference from plate/utensil rentals and buying nice plastic.

A honeymoon is not in your budget.

www.recycledbride.com and www.greenbrideguide.com have some beautiful ways to cut costs and resources to help you find gently-used and eco-friendly items to make a wedding that will still be pretty and formal, as well as less of an impact on the earth.

You mention you still have a year to save. Couponing and selling your stuff on ebay or consignment can help raise some extra cash, too. Clean out the garage or shed for a relative and see what you can sell. These are things you and FH can do together to make it happen. Best of luck!!

Things to not forget to budget for:

Officiant fee

Marriage license fee

Possible lodging costs(since it's 3 hours away, are you going to get a hotel room closer the day before?)

Bridal party gifts

Gratuity

......I'll find my list and come back later.

Don't forget that even if you do a buffet, you will need a way to keep the warm food warm, and cold food cold. Who is going to set all of that up?

I had the same conversation with FH weeks ago. ANd we decided to push the wedding back a year. FFIL just offered us 10K, but I still want to leave the wedding in 2014. With us both back in school and us moving in together this summer, we can't afford a 2012/2013 wedding. Plus, we would like to have a down payment put on our 1st home before the wedding.

You could ask everyone to bring a dish instead of a gift and have a potluck meal.

Like everyone else has mentioned, your catering budget is way to low. Also, your venue seems pricey for a $5000 wedding. My wedding has an $18,000 budget (not counting rings and honeymoon), and our venue is $1600 (includes chairs & tables, no table linens). The most expensive part of my budget is food: Dinner, appetizers, bar, place settings, and dessert break down to $40/person.

I agree with everyone about the venue, it is too expensive for what they offer.

I agree with @Sara P. My reception venue is $1100 and we have about an 18K budget too sans honeymoon and rings. The majority of that budget? Food and drinks.

Try these places, I stalked your profile and saw your venue was in Virginia. Always shop around.

http://www.x4.com/info/

http://www.hermitagehillfarm.com/reception_facility.php

I too am a budget bride but with the things your FH is wanting I'd think you'd have to DIY a lot of things to make room for that. One thing that really working for me is creating an Excel spreadsheet of all of my FH and my expenses every month. From that I determined how much a month we could afford. We set up small payments for a year and slowly paid everything off. You have roughly 14 months to slowly pay. Look at your personal budget (rent/mortgage, utilities, car payments/insureance etc.) look at how much a month you can spend on wedding expences. Multiply that by the amount of months. That's your budget and then disect it from there. It's possible to have a tight budget and the wedding of your dreams. You just have to know what you're working with and plan plan plan!

I PM'ed you, Kate.

Don't go broke! You could cut your guest list way back, cut the food you are serving to just cake and punch (and skip the music and dancing), or delay your wedding until you have more saved.

Great suggestion FutureMrsHammett - there is a website Mint.com that you can enter all your banking info into (it uses the same security as bank websites so it is totally safe) - and you can use it for the same purpose. It allows you to make budgets, add goals (like saving for a wedding) and then tracks your spending and tells you where your money really went. I find it to be AWESOME and use it all the time.

FH and I will have been engaged 1 1/2 years by wedding day - all for the saving (and the DIY projects!)

I have about 125 guests and as I stated before I am doing it at a family member's home - but I had to rent a tent and all the rest - that cost me about $1,600 - so keep the rentals in mind when you consider your venue.

Thank, Caroline P.! I have MINT acct (not sure when I signed up) but I have yet to use it. Went old school. But now that you mention it I'm going to log in and check it out!

STAY POSITIVE...EVERYTHING WILL WORK OUT!

My FSIL had her wedding an 8-hour drive away on a Sunday and no one complained! It is possible! Plus, that means you might get more declines, which could lower the cost as well. I agree with the others - your venue is overpriced and your catering budget is low.

Yea i've searched and searched. This is the cheapest i can find within 3 hours of Raleigh, NC. Most people are coming from NJ so i figure the only people it really effects is our local friends.

I've been searching for a venue for about a month now. Aside from going to a park this is the cheapest. There was 2 others we liked that were more like $1100 but were all outdoors so i'd need to rent a tent too. So 1700 without needing to rent a tent is actually cheaper. I've tried everything. I guess i need to change my entire goal. But how much more low key can i go. anything else just wouldnt be us.

I really didn't think i had expensive tastes. I'm not that picky. i'm doing a lot myself. i mean less fancy should mean less money.

We estimate we can save 6k in a year with other savings i can reach 8k but not 12... goodbye all hopes and dreams. i'll miss you.

Also how much do you need to account for kids. They won't eat as much as adults... Theres gonna be a lot of kids there. easily 15 maybe more.