Realizing my budget is extremely unrealistic.... I'm gonna go broke.

How many times do you need to go to the venue or the area that the venue is in before the wedding itself?

If I have to drive 3 1/2 hours a lot i'm gonna have to factor in the price of gas... I mean I will have to find a bakery, florist, and vendors around that area so i'm sure i'd have to meet with them right?

DJ i'd like but if for say only 400 i'm gonna get a crappy one thats not gonna play what we like then i'll be pissed. IPOD on shuffle could work but what worries me is stopping it for songs like the first dance and stuff like that and then restarting it and it could end up repeating songs. I guess i'd need two to do that then.

Will you be willing to wait a little bit for your honeymoon? You don't have a to take your honeymoon right away and you can save more money that way and be able to plan ahead what you want to do. I can't say that $600 is too low because I am paying about $1,000 for 140 people, but I bought my own plates, silverware, decorations and tablecloths to have what I want. I would really shop around for a caterer and get pricing. The only thing I wouldn't suggest on cutting down is a photographer. You can only get those moments once, so please don't cut out on the quality on that. There are people who did away with a DJ and did iPod only which saves some money as well. Are you able to postpone your date later?

This is what i've come up with so far estimating... Does this sound more realistic? 7200 is still a bit too high since we still have to add on rings and honeymoon on top of that. But I could make it work... so long as i didn't go over. I feel like i need to aim low so when i go over i can still afford it.

Venue 1700

Dress + Veil 500

Catering/food 1200

Photographer 800

Videographer 400

DJ 400

Flowers 300

Table/chairs/linens 250

Decorations/centerpieces 250

Cake 250

Favors 200

Alcohol 400

Tux Rental 150

Bridal Party Gifts 150

Hotels 250

TOTAL 7200

I mentioned waiting for the Honeymoon to my FH and he didn't like that idea too much.... mostly because thats what he's most excited about. He wants to elope and just have a big honeymoon. I haven't been on a vacation in years I could really use a big honeymoon.

I'd say cut the favors (no one needs them anywy) and maybe cut the videographer unless that's really important to you. I know many of my friends never watch their wedding video. If you know someone with a camcorder and a tripod, you could set that up. $400 for a DJ seems a little low, but you could make playlists on iTunes instead and buy 100 or 200 songs for less money.

I'm glad that you and FH have realized this before the fact.

Anywho, $1700 for a venue, you should be able to find one for much lower. Check your local VFW halls, American Legions, etc.

Anyway you'd be willing to cut out videographer?

Instead of FH renting a tux, what about buying a nice suit? You can find one for less than $150 AND he gets to keep it.

And hotels??? Does that mean for 2 nights?

You can ditch the favors and tux to save $350. But your catering/booze estimates are very low. $400/75 = $5.33 per person which barely buys half a bottle of wine after tax. Remember with booze - you have to add in costs for refrigeration, ice, mixers, napkins, glasses, and potentially a bartender or liability insurance. All venues I found that let us bring our own booze require us to have a licensed bartender serving it. Things rarely cost what they "cost", there's almost always something else to factor in.

The reality is - you cannot afford this venue. I'm sorry. You just can't. You can't spend more an empty room than you spend on food/drink for the people inside the room.

Another reality is - I think you and your FH need to really talk about your priorities and compromise re: this wedding. If his priority is the HM AND the dinner/dance party - well, you can't really afford to do both. What do YOU want for your wedding, other than the pretty rustic look?

You have to decide if a HM is that important. Your wedding day is ONE day... you have a lifetime to have a vacation together. Why not do something small... weekend getaway to Hilton Head, Va beach, etc....To me celebrating with family and friends was more important so we're not going anywhere... i wanted too, but it doesnt fit. Is there anyone who has a killer backyard? That would be awesome for Rustic. ya know? I live in NC as well and i have a DJ that is fabulous, i am pretty sure she goes up to the Raleigh area, PM if you want her info. Her deposit was low, so that helped me. I think me and DH aren't spending more than 4K for everything. Also if you're a member of a church, see if they will let you use some of their tables and chairs for free! That's what I plan on doing. Granted I have 2 friends that work in weddings and wedding planning that are helping me. But if i didn't i was gonna go to BJs and get some pretty flowers the morning of. ya know? Also don't forget tips (cont)

(cont) taxes and fees. WHen i was looking at the caterer we got it $20 bucks a person, which i thought was awesome. Still with that many people. a 20% fee and then taxes..Hello 8% and then you gotta TIP them... thats was 50% more than i thought.. keep that in mind

Please cut your favors out - they will mostly be thrown away. If you really want to give your guests something - take pictures with them. You said get 500 prints, so just take those prints - write a thank you note on the back - and mailed it the guests. They will appreciate it more!!

Talk to your FH - show him the expenses in detail. Men are analytical, and if you show them the breakdowns, and then the final price - they will be like WTH, let's cut stuff.

Also, go on a later HM. You will be too tired and exhausted to truly enjoy the HM AND if you're getting married in June, prices are going to be at a maximum wherever you go. If you wait until say September or October, prices will drop, thus getting you a better HM and saving you money. We're getting married in April, and taking a 2-3 week HM in September. Because we are waiting until then, we're able to get more out the HM and pay less than in May/June for a longer period of time.

--I recommend a mini-moo

If the honeymoon is that important to you guys then maybe you really should elope and take that big honeymoon. Or postpone the date.

If not, then ditch the flowers, favors, tux rental and videographer. Find a new venue that doesn't charge that much for so little.

I don't think 400 is bad for the DJ - Ours is costing $500 (although I work in the wedding business so I know him and he is fantastic!!) but he gives my brides a deal usually too.

Don't rent a tux - if your FH wants one, just buy one. You can get one tailor made or store bought for about the same price, and it will be a better investment. (Macys!)

The venue price is high, but find out the economy of the area - if it is as low there as it is in other places - NEGOTIATE. Get those linens and chairs for free or cut in costs.

How many centerpieces do you have? If you have 10 tables, you are paying $25 per table - and you can cut back on that by DIY. You can get poutpourri and pretty bowls/vases and votive candles - and you'll end up paying like $5-8 a table.

I don't know anything about veils but why is it so high??? $500??? Are you keen on having a new one? Can you take one from a grandmother or mother? Can you make one yourself or get it from Etsy? Are veils really that expensive?

See if you can get a photographer/videgrapher package - some do both, or have friends. Do you have any friends who can take photos? Maybe you can cut back on the hours then

Do you have glasses, plates, serving wear, tables, linens included in there? I wasn't sure if they were provided by your venue or by the caterer. (Just saw, Kris mentioned all that too)

You can find a great dress at David's $99 sale. Talk to family members, is there anyone you can borrow a veil from? Borrow jewelry?

Tux might be free w/rental of 5 if your Dad's and Wedding party all get from the same place.

I agree, cut the favors. Or just bake some cookies.

How important is the video? Maybe talk to local college for a Sr. majoring in videography? Or cut back the guest list. Less people to feed, more money for things that are important to you.

You can get/create some great centerpieces by using www.dollartree.com

vases, candles, etc.

~ good luck ~

I agree with the other ladies, cut out the videographer. We are having all amateur video at ours...free. The centerpieces are too expensive. Together with the flower budget, it's $550. Your venue is very expensive, unless it includes a lot more than the previous one you posted. I still think you can have the wedding you want and a honeymoon. FH and I have been on trips last minute using discount sites.

Venue 1700

Dress Veil 500 is this for BOTH?

Catering/food 1200

Photographer 800

Videographer 400 NIX this...sorry but if you wanna cut costs this is one i would lose

DJ 400 did you find one for this price? Thats low and the one i found was 650, and she is awesome...

Flowers 300 get some at the store the morning of for WAY less

Table/chairs/linens 250

Decorations/centerpieces 250 i think this is high. some votive candles all around are pretty and fairly cheaper than any flowery arrangement

Cake 250 i think this is low as well... but i am sure its doable, don't forget taxes and delivery charges

Favors 200 totally not nessecary love

Alcohol 400

Tux Rental 150 let him buy one at Kohls or something for way cheaper and its his for good.

Bridal Party Gifts 150 how many girls do you have? get them some pretty day of jewlery, it doesnt have be fancy

Hotels 250 I can't helpya there... all i'd say is find something closer to your home

Hope some of this helps. Ours is a tiny budget

Maybe rates are just high for what i'm looking for because most venues I find charge like 3k - 5k for only like 8 hours. 1700 for whole weekend is actually good.

I have my heart set on a barn reception which may be killing me. Because I just have this nightmare in my head that if i do it all outside its gonna pour and I'm gonna be SOL. So I want the barn there for a backup for the ceremony as well.

I'm not sure how that would work having the ceremony and reception in the same place but i think the one i am going to look at on saturday has a big enough barn that we could make it work.

Only other option is a park and it really depends on the park because i worry about 5 million kids running around the park on a saturday afternoon in june.

I'm gonna try to see if i can convince the venue to give me just saturday instead of friday and saturday for less money. Cus I sware for any other day long event it would be like half the price... the second you mention wedding the price skyrockets

Good luck! These are all hard choices. You have to cut somewhere, so determine your priorities. There is a lot of the budget that can be ditched.....videographer, favors.

What do you need the place for the whole weekend for? Are you doing a pre-wedding party on Friday??

$1700 might be a good value in comparison to other venues, but the reality is it has to work for YOUR budget. If it's too much for your budget, it doesn't matter if it's a good value. KWIM?

I think with your budget, you might be better off looking at something more inclusive that's closer to home. OR- stick with the barn, ditch the HM, and cut your guestlist.

You can nickel and dime a bunch of stuff in that budget, but I think there are tons of hidden costs you're probably not counting yet that are going to at least make up for those savings. It's difficult to know what's reasonable until you actually have quotes from real vendors in your area. Remember - taxes, gratuity, delivery and other fees can add up and be 20-30% of your overall budget.

What about a DW in a location where there's a barn? Colorado or Montana or something? That would cut your guestlist and maybe kick off your HM too. Might be a good compromise.

Thanks I'll cut the favors, that will make my life easier anyway. 200 I figured for centerpieces as well as any decorations i need for the cermony/reception. So i was worried it wouldn't be enough.

And i'll look into what it would cost to buy a suit/tux instead of renting. He could probably use a good suit anyway. We went through hell trying to find a suit jacket that fit him. Maybe a cheaper one

500 is for the dress, veil, shoes, and whatever else i have to wear.

Shoot i forgot hair/makeup. I know someone who works in a hair salon so maybe she'll help me out.

Bridal party gifts is including groomsmen gifts too. I have 5 (maybe 6) in my bridal party right now.

250 for hotels is for the day before as well as wedding night.