Realizing my budget is extremely unrealistic.... I'm gonna go broke.

There are a ton of costs you are overlooking. Every single thing counts. Don't look at things and justify them by saying well it's cheaper than that other one. If you can't find it in your price range than it's not a good price. Our budget with attire and rings is 12k. Our guest list was at 80, we decided that wasn't doable so now it is 60. Rings and attire were bought with savings we already had, so we don't need to save for those. The pricing is with tax rounded up to the nearest $10. This is without honeymoon.

Food was quoted so far between $****(with gratuity).

Venue is $80.

Hair and makeup $150.

Attire total is $1800

Bridal party gifts $80

Decor $400(A lot of cheap tulle)

Rings $2800

License and Officiant fees $190

Photography $1500

DJ is Ipod $0.00

Flowers $100 $5 bouquets from the grocery store that I'm going to take apart and arrange.

People for set up and clean up $500

Rentals(chairs/tables/linens) $600

Plates/Silve

Plates and silverware are mismatched secondhand sets from Goodwill, St Vinnie's, and other secondhand stores $300

So far that's $10,000 total so far. That leaves us $2000 as a cushion for anything we may have overlooked. Without rings and attire because they were bought and paid for already we are planning to save up $6000 for our 2014 vow renewal. That gives us plenty of time to save and it's an amount that won't put a strain on our normal finances, and still allow us to put some money into our non wedding savings. If neither of you are willing to budge on your expectations you have no choice but to wait a little longer and save up some more.

@ Kate...

You have a LOT of entries to this post in just a few days. It's interesting how many brides are in the same situation. I wrote a blog that addresses exactly what you are talking about in your thread. I hope you find it interesting and informative:

http://tyroneblue.blogspot.com/

I have many family members who live in the Triangle area of NC. Sorry I didn't read every post but if you want to be close to Raleigh with a rustic feel I suggest checking out The Homestead in Person Co.

http://www.thehomesteadsteakhouse.com/

Camp New Hope near Chapel Hill may be another option but less is included compared to The Homestead.

If you are willing to give up on the whole "rustic" thing the Durham Armory is a really good deal.

ETA: get on city-data.com forums for more suggestions. They've had a few posts lately in the Raleigh-Durham forum with brides looking for cheap wedding venues.

Contact NC State and see if any of their students would be willing to do videography.

Here's one I found..this is pretty darn rustic, shoot them an email.

http://www.starlightmeadow.com/

Also sign up for Groupon getaways and living social adventures. They have awesome deals on vacations!

Http://snipesfarmretreat.com/services.php

Enter all contests and drawing that you can!! I have won several expensive things from 1 bridal show i went to including toasting glasses, 3 nights in any Marriott, and hair and makeup for 4 ppl the day of! enter EVERYTHING!! also if you look on here under the deals there are tons of awesome money savers! somethings you can google coupons or discounts, like davids bridal discounts. It might have a site that tells you when certain gowns are going on sale or when bmd's will be discounted. Saturday is always going to be more expensive, mine was almost 5000 more! We went with Friday lol. All my people are coming from out of town too but if they want to be there they will do whatever they can to make sure they are! Make sure your cake is buttercream instead of fondont. Dont do square invitations, the postage costs more! My dj is 600 for all night plus a slideshow free. A lot of hotels offer a suite free for the night of your wedding for the B&G if you have guests book rooms there... Cont..

There are lots of ways to save, you just gotta look for them! Entering drawings and contests is definately a good way! happy planning!

Can you cut out the honeymoon and rings for now? You can always do a honeymoon later and save up for rings.

I'm a vendor, and I'm not marketing myself because I'm not in your area... but your catering does seem low as well as your photographer budget. 3 things are important in my book - good music, good food, and good pictures. Like mentioned above, look at the brokeassbride blog, it's amazing!

The biggest placed I cut my wedding costs were:

The dress ($76): http://genevieveswedding.blogspot.com/2011/10/recap-dress.html

Flowers ($65): http://genevieveswedding.blogspot.com/2010/11/details-flowers.html

Photographer ($100)

Having a cash bar

Going with 5 sheet cakesinstead of tier cake ($85): genevieveswedding.blogspot.com/2010/10/vendor-review-costco-bakery.html

Veil ($15): genevieveswedding.blogspot.com/2010/09/my-veil.html

Plus, I got married in a hotel so I didn't have to rent anything and we got a free place to get ready and spend the night.

http://genevieveswedding.blogspot.com/p/steal-or-skimp-vs-splurge.html

Hope that helps.

You don't live far from a beach, most beach weddings are free, just need permission from the city, and a pastor. I'm cutting alot of money out by doing that just a small intimate wedding on the beach and then heading to a local resturaunt for a reception with more people.

I understand budget, we are doing everything (except honeymoon) realisticly that is just going to have to wait awhile. I have rented out an entire B&B, I am going to alot of flowers and decorations myself, I have my MOH doing alot to help out on these tasks, also my FH doing somethings as well. We estimate that when all is said and done around $6000. Including the dress and rings. Look at venues, use your imagination and the sky is the limit.