People want to come to the reception but NOT the ceremony???

I personally feel that if people can't be bothered coming to my ceremony, then I couldn't be bothered feeding them and allowing them into my reception.

The reception is to thank people for coming to the ceremony and celebrating the ceremony.

I would not allow anyone into the reception if they had clearly made no effort in coming to the ceremony. Of course there would be exceptions i.e. accidently ran late to the ceremony due to traffic or weather or something. But not for people who have asked months out to only come to the reception.

^^^^^ what she said... just RSVP... they are the same event... ppl should come to both!

I think thats very rude of them.if they cant be there for you for the important stuff thats not right. it sounds like they just want free food and booze

Most people don't get off work until 5pm and not everyone can take off for someone else's wedding. I think you are probably going to have a significant number of people who want to come to the reception only. I wouldn't worry about it. I am sure those people would be there with you if they could. It doesn't seem like people just want to get out of sitting through a reception - it seems like it has to do with the timing.

Either way, you don't need to know who is coming to both or the reception. As long as you know how many are coming to the receptions, that's the important part.

Sorry, but if you dreamed of this day forever and wanted everyone to attend then you probably should have had it on a Saturday. I've known many people who have had Friday weddings and they know that not everyone is going to be able to attend the ceremony. Some people just can't get off work early enough to attend. So in these instances they keep the ceremony very personal and intimate. I'm not trying to be insensitive, just sayin.

Things are a little different here I know, but I am only inviting about 100 people to the ceremony and luncheon. There are almost 400 invited to the reception with finger foods. It saves money and the ceremony location didn't allow for more.

Plus, it's awesome they want to make it to congratulate you at one or the other! I am sure they care about you and your happiness! We have people wanting to do the opposite and hit the ceremony and not the reception.

I would agree with you except this is one of the possible consequences of having a weekday wedding, especially at such an early time. Asking people to take time off work to get ready and be there on time is a lot, especially with times as they are.

Thats what I figured. I guess I would only be mad at those who just dont want to come (rather than not coming due to work).

But maybe they have their own things going on. Thanks for talking me through my rant! lol

I understand your frustration, but not everyone can get off from work in time. In order to make it to your ceremony, your guests would have to leave work early to get dressed and (potentially - depending on where you live) drive in rush hour traffic. Has anyone said that work isn't an issue and they just don't won't to attend the ceremony (for non-valid reasons)? That would make me angry.

I would stick to just one RSVP.

So tacky

This reminds me of when I was bat mitzvahed. A lot of my friends wouldnt come to the services and just show up for the party. It is not right! You put so much effort in to the entire day they should respect you enough to come to both. They don't think its important enough maybe they shouldnt even be invited. Just my opinion...

Yup, this is a result of the time of your wedding. Unfortunately some people are just unable to take off work or leave work early. If the wedding is at 4, they still need time to get home, get changed and ready, and then drive to the wedding. Some people say "Oh they had so and so much time to request off," but for some people it isn't that simple. Requests get denied. Some people just simply don't have the time to be able to take off for a Friday afternoon ceremony.

In this case, I feel like the people who are actually asking you are the ones who probably can't get off of work and make it. They are at least trying to make the best of the situation and asking first. The "rude" people will not say anything and just show up at the reception and not the ceremony. Which unfortunately, you will probably have some of those too due to the time of your event that you chose.

I personally think its tacky and rude for people to only come to the reception instead of both.. So what that its on a Friday.. Thats not an excuse just to come to the reception.. You need to make it clear to ppl that you're inviting that you are inviting them to both ceremony and reception not just the reception.. I had one friend who only wanted to come to the ceremony and that was fine.. Good luck with everything..

Do you think it's because people do NOT want to come to the ceremony?

Otherwise Friday is difficult in this respect. I could barely get 2 days off for our own wedding, let alone anybody else's.

Around my area, that happens-it's not uncommon. I'm sure that our family will mostly be there, but we will have people who skip the ceremony, and come to the reception, and I won't be upset about it.

Having a Friday wedding at 4pm, like most have mentioned, you have to expect that there will be quite a few people who won't be able to make the ceremony.

Here is my opinion on the matter to me it down right rude. You don't want to come to the most important aspect of the day where we actually do get married but want to come drink and eat for free? With that being said it's not un-common it sucks but it's going to happen.

We are having a Catholic Ceremony and if you don't know they are long (although I have been to longer ceremonies) I have had people tell me flat out because I'm having a Catholic Ceremony they will not be attending because of the length. Where I said well then I won't expect you at the reception then.

You're case may be a little different since it's on a Friday it might be hard for people to get off work and make it in time for the ceremony. I work until 4:45 so I would have to take a half day to attend your wedding. I have attended one Friday and I had to take the day off to attend.

But I would just stick to 1 RSVP if they show great if not well it's rude but some people may just not be able to get off work.

As frustrating as it is, I see both points. I do find it super annoying that guests are asking so far in advance about it, however, my FH has a job where he is unable to just cut out early. His vacation must be taken in full week increments. It is VERY VERY uncommon to get him off work early. Typically, this can only happen if it's an emergency or he's IN the wedding. A lot of times, I have to go to the ceremony, and then he meets up with me for the reception, since he can't get out on time. I think Friday weddings are even harder. Again, I have a job where I can take a half day no problem, but others don't have that luxury. While I know it's super frustrating, I would try to keep in mind they probably aren't trying to insult you, they just may not have the wiggle room at work to do such things.

I think the reason behind not attending the ceremony would make it rude or not. It sounds like these people want to come, they just cant due to the time of day. I dont look at it as people wanting to eat for free. I think they want to be a part of celebrating your day. If it is not a work issue or conflict of some sort, then yes it can be taken as rude. You know your friends and family and you know they type of people they are. Do you really think they would just skip out on the ceremony just because they did not want to attend that part? Are there a lot of people who are telling you they can only come to reception or just a few?

Normally I would agree that it's rude to only come to the reception, but this is just something that comes with the day and time you chose. Personally, I would be able to get off work, but H wouldn't so it would be come to the reception or not at all. Especially if there is any travel at all. Even 30 minutes would make it really difficult to make it at 4.

Yikes, I can see both sides to this. It's hard to get people to a 4 pm ceremony (even a 6 PM ceremony in NYC) on a working day. There is a difference between not bothering to get there, (and trust me, I see this at 7:00 on a Saturday, and it makes me livid...) and not being able to take an afternoon off from work or class.

That being said, the ceremony (well, at least to me of course) is the most important part...

I've had couples who got married in a very private ceremony, early in the day or the day before, and then have a more public reception.

So, I guess the net result is that it's up to you to figure out whether it's a hardship for them to come or they're just being lazy a$$hats. If you've not sent out the invites yet? Maybe some of the latter get chopped of the list.