No kids at my wedding, not even newborns

Agreed

I would be offended if someone told me my newborn baby wasn't invited and you wouldn't care if I came or not as long as baby didn't come

Friendship would be over. Newborns don't take up any chairs, don't eat any of your food and they need mom. Maybe if they don't plan on breastfeeding but I did and would be offended

@sarahm for the op it doesn't matter as clearly what she actually wants are these families not to come. But in general I think a bottle fed newborn (again less than 3 months) should also be an exception because of the potential round the clock care. They still typically need feeding every 2-4 hours and still it's unlikely that most parents have found a sitter at that point or would be comfortable finding someone oot. Additionally since the OP says these guest aren't local she's possibly asking them to leave the baby overnight.

I think this is someone making a problem out of something that doesn't exist to get attention since her wedding is over a year away. Like I said earlier I'd be surprised if parents of newborns (which is typically regarded as under 3 months not under a year like the OP seems to think), would need to be addressed on a case by case basis. But if you told me you'd rather me decline than bring my newborn to your special day rather than letting me decide and reach out to you if I wanted to bring the baby. I'd see you as a selfish, gift grabby brat who didn't really value me in the first place.

I think what's gotten lost in this thread is that these are out-of-town moms, not local moms. Come on now. How many of you moms would leave your infant to attend an out-of-town wedding? Toddler? Fine. But infant? I doubt many of you would.

I disagree with PP. OP doesn't have to make an exception for anyone on HER guest list - including newborns. This is why there is an option to Regretfully Decline and it sounds like OP is fine with this. A lot of people have children and think the world is supposed to revolve around their situation or everyone is supposed to accommodate them. If this was me, I'd either choose to attend and leave my child with close family for a few freaking hours or decline and send a gift to my friend.

ALC you can definitely leave a small baby or infant at home with grandma. It's a personal preference to choose to do so (or not).

FutureMrs, it isn't "a few freaking hours" when the mother lives OOT.

Then decline Elizabeth

FutureMrs, thank you for that obvious retort. I was pointing out that you were wrong in your minimizing of the situation.

Stephanie, calm down and get your facts straight. First of all, just because you're paying doesn't mean that you get to call all the shots. If it did, you wouldn't have asked for advice, would you? You would have just gone with whatever you want to do since you're paying. The reception is for your guests, not for you. Secondly, did you just say it's inappropriate of mothers to breastfeed at a wedding because no one wants to see it? Do you think moms just pop out their boobs on the dance floor? I mean, really? No wonder you're so opposed to infants and newborns coming if that's the kind of thing you believe.

I am grateful none of our guests have newborns. It would be a tough choice. We put this verbiage on our enclosure cards: "Although we love your children, we regretfully cannot accommodate them due to limited seating. We hope that you are able to join us anyway for an adults only fun evening with friends and family". I'm sure that most people understand.

Wow. Have been following this post for a few days. Every once in awhile, there is a post on here that really brings out the best in people. I see this pretty simply. The bride is extending an invitation to adults only. No one with any sense would think that someone that wasn't on the invite was invited to the event-children included. The bride here isn't being rude or unreasonable. She is issuing an invitation, and these parents can choose to accept or decline-like everyone else that was invited. The horse is dead on the difference between an infant and a toddler, and it isn't relevant here, she's inviting neither. She also made it clear she is fine is people decide to decline the invitation, and she doesn't want them to feel bad about it. Seems pretty simple and clear to me.

Thank you @worththewait that is EXACTLY WHAT I WAS SAYING.

Thank you to those who understand my situation ! I realize people all have very different opinions about children, and didn't actually expect this many comments tbh. I really have enjoyed the discussion on this thread and though I disagree with some of you, I still really appreciate your feedback even if it was a little cruel and at some points harsh. Thank you all for your feedback. #appreciateweddingwire comments.

I am very curious to know how many people agree with Elizabeth. Because I thought it would be rude to NOT invite a close friend-but she says that's what she would prefer.

Everyone, humor me, please.

"Like" THIS post if you would prefer NOT to ever receive an invite if your baby was not invited.

"Like" THIS post if you would prefer to receive an invite and have the ability to respectfully decline.

Beutivant, I didn't say anything about sending versus not sending an invite, Don't misrepresent my position to make a point.

ETA: What I said was that it's rude to expect people not to bring their infants. You still send the invite and address it to whoever is invited and give them a chance to decline, but IMO, you're bring rude to the mom by not making an exception for her baby.

I feel a need to point out that OP used both "newborn" and "infant" and wasn't completely wrong on terminology as some have suggested. Newborn typically refers to 0-3ish months, and infant is up til one year. She mostly used the word infant in the original post, which is (based on my guess of when the babies will be born) completely appropriate terminology.

OP, you are completely overthinking this entire situation and this is the problem with these kinds of scenarios. Parents don't need help deciding what to do with their children. It's as simple as that.

I have two children. I do not need you, who has no children, to make decisions for me about what to do with my children when I go out or what will make them comfortable. It is crazy to me that you think that parents don't realize that a long plane ride or car ride would be something a child wouldn't enjoy or want to sit through. Your wedding is one of probably a bunch of events that I would have had to make childcare arrangements and decisions. It will most likely not, by the time these children are 10 months old, be the first time your friends have had to make these choices.

Also, your comments about breastfeeding are so misinformed. You do know that you usually don't see a lot of a breast when a mom is breastfeeding, right? There are covers, the two shirt method, or a big baby head that will prevent the breast from being seen. There are also moms who will go somewhere private because their baby won't be able to feed in a crowd or loud place because it's distracting. So you probably won't see a big lactating boob in your pictures, but maybe a baby that just looks like it's laying across it's mom's chest.

Back to the original point:

STOP WORRYING ABOUT HOW YOUR FRIENDS WILL MAKE DECISIONS ABOUT THEIR CHILDREN. They don't need your help.

Elizabeth- At the bottom of page three I asked this question and on page four, you said I should not invite them if I didn't want their baby there. IMO, I didn't in any way misrepresent anything you said. And I am actually not trying to make a point. I am literally curious to know what the majority thinks about this (OBVIOUSLY) very touchy subject.

I really really hope someone invites you to an OOT event when you have a newborn baby OP... then you can look back at this entire thread and feel ridiculous.

I haven't read all of the comments, but I'm going to second Boudreau. I'm thankful that I don't have any friends that would rather me not come to their wedding than bring my newborn (if I had one) If you're concerned for their kids on the car/plane ride, it's misplaced concern. It's not your job to be concerned about what other people do with their kids, so don't pretend that's the reason you don't want their kids there.n