No kids at my wedding, not even newborns

Thank you all for your feedback I have come to a conclusion.

Ahh my dad dictated no children, including newborns, at my wedding. Two of my BMs had newborns and it was a destination for both, so this was really tough. The wedding didn't happen so it didn't come to a head but we started working through contingencies and both were prepared to have someone care for the baby during the ceremony away from the ceremony then could join the reception. Honestly, my dad and I fought about it until the day I cancelled the wedding though. This time around FH and I decided to pay for it ourselves to allow for children to attend and not put hardship on the families since it was really important to us that their parents be there. You know your friends best, though. Call them for a candid conversation and explain your thoughts/feelings. Hopefully they know you well enough and will understand - especially if you make your plans to see them at the same time. Not exactly the same but FH did this with his extended family who were not invited to ours. We're doing a casual dinner in their hometown with all of them before instead.

I love children and could not imagine celebrating my day without them there. BUT that is just me. I think if someone wants a no kid wedding that is fine. HOWEVER, OP post came off as very rude. I just don't understand why someone would say I would rather you not come if you have to bring your newborn. There are just better ways of saying things.

I think there is a big difference between "child" and newborn. Since we're all getting married we also have to understand that this is a time of life (for most) when childbearing occurs. A newborn, especially if breastfeeding, needs its mother every 1-2 hours so if you have friends with newborns that's just the reality- sorry! I don't have kids and I am having a kid free wedding. BUT if I really want someone to be at my wedding (which only happens once) and they have a newborn then I can't reasonably say to leave them home. You should decide how important these people are to you and FH and just be realistic about babies- they happen.

You do you, it's your wedding. I went to a wedding last year where the dad had his infant baby strapped to his chest and he had fun and danced all night.

I wish people would actually read the comments before chiming in with their "that so rude" responses. The OP has clarified that what she means is she understands if some guests with babies have to decline. This is exactly how MANY brides having child free weddings feel. It is not rude, it is a preference. She is not required to make an exception for any babies or children. The guest list is up to the host. And she clarified that she won't be putting any offensive language on the invites.

She has also stated that the guests in question are pregnant NOW. So they won't actually be newborns at the wedding. They will be 6 months to one year plus, depending on how far along the pregnancies are now.

I would do 3 things.

1. Address envelopes to the specific guests only; don't include young children's or infants' names.

2. Include an RSVP card that reads: # seats have been saved in your honor.

3. Talk to these friends in person or over the phone about why you don't want their babies there. I'm sure you have a legitimate reason that your friends will respect since it's your special day. Hopefully they'll understand.

Honestly I feel you. I don't want infants at my wedding either. But I damn sure won't make that a known thing. If they come, they come. Just do ___ seats have been reserved in your honor. If you get a call about it that's when I'd say we prefer an adults only wedding but I understand you're a nursing mother.

@Emily, she is contradicting herself. She said they're pregnant now, and she also said they will have newborns. Either/or, she can't have it both ways. And for the record, a newborn is quite different from a 6 month old baby.

And she is also contradicting herself about her attitude towards her guests. She says they're "very important", but yet also that she "wouldn't be upset if they declined". So if she wouldn't be upset, then they're not that important. And if she's not even willing to consider compromising on this issue, then they're obviously not VIPs.

It just seems that OP is structuring her responses to hide the quite apparent notion that she doesn't really care much about these people, and would rather not see them at her wedding than fathom the (not even certain) possibility of a disruption to the big day. Which is fine and understandable, but come on - own it, and don't lie to us and to yourself and say these people are "very important".

We had an adult only ceremony and reception. For those guests with children, we only put the parents names on the inner and outer envelope. The invitation clearly stated adult only ceremony and reception. The RSVP card stated, "2 seats have been reserved for you." with the usual thanks or regrets. Also on our website, it stated we are having an adult only ceremony and hosting an adult only reception and child care would not be provided.

Sorry but I do think it's rude not to invite infants to the wedding. Emily yes, the guest list is up to the host but there are still certain guidelines the host should follow (such as significant others) and imo, any baby under a year old falls into the same category.

So I ask again-. Elizabeth- If I have chosen that I do not want children (including babies) at my wedding, would you prefer me to NOT invite you or invite only you and your spouse giving you the option to decline if you are choose not to part with your child for 5 hours?

'Emily yes, the guest list is up to the host but there are still certain guidelines the host should follow (such as significant others) and imo, any baby under a year old falls into the same category.'

A year? A 9 month old is no longer considered a newborn. Newborns I get but if you're going to have an adults only wedding then say a nine month old for example is invited, you're going to have shitty guests leaving their 15 months, 18 month infants at home etc. Newborn is up to 3 months.

I'm having a kid free event as well. I have told everyone and I also put it on our website. I left it up to them whether they could attend or not.

It is NOT rude because this is YOUR event and if you dont want children there that is your prerogative. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about your decision

Im with you no kids..we getting freaky at our

At a friend's recent wedding. 3 of our friends had newborns about 3-5 mos old. And they left them at home. But were pumping in the bathroom as needed. I think most couples would be happy to have a baby free night. But in this case they all lived within 25mins away.

@Beautivant, that's right. If you don't want their babies there, then don't invite them. This is my opinion. I just think it's rude to tell a new mother she can't bring her infant.

@Natalie, yes, a year. That's my opinion. You're welcome to your own.

@Elizabeth Of course you're welcome to your opinion but I am saying for an adults only wedding, your suggestion of having a year old cut off is arbitrary and could cause issues. It's hard to leave an exclusively breastfed newborn (0-3months) at home with a babysitter, not so much a 12 month old.

You are under no obligation to make exceptions. The parent can simply decline to attend.

Natalie, many mothers breastfeed past 3 months. Not sure why you think that's when breastfeeding stops.