LEAVE YOUR EXPLETIVE KIDS AT HOME!!!!!

Lmao my mom would've just yanked the book out and kept going

LOL trust me it was a one time good deal

Sorry ladies, I had the BF over. Since they made big changes to his schedule, our time is limited. He walked in and saw the WW website lol. It's been nine months for us - a month longer than my BFF and her FH who are getting married in Sept, but they didn't have to deal with my big career change and inter-state move followed by his job loss then starting all over somewhere else.

People have been asking way too often though "when is he going to propose" and my answer is when he's good and ready. I've been proposed to...well seriously, three times before. I lost count of the joking proposals or the drunk guys at con who ask me because I'm a Whovian girl who games. I don't want him to ask me and then not have it happened. At least I never set up a wedding website for each of them like some people i know. Oooh, do you wanna hear that story?! It's good!

Yes there will be ham at my wedding. Sweet honey and brown sugar glazed baked ham cooked in pineapple juice marinade. I will have pigs in a blanket as hors d'ouvres because it's my wedding and I want them. I will get an entire mountain of cocktail shrimp and sauce and no one else can have any. I will find that caterer that did the best meat on a stick I ever had - it

wad sweet like it had a candy glaze, but the beef had that smoky bbq spice. I dream about it sometimes.

Don't joke about not getting the shower venue until the last minute, because that's what CoMOH did...when she was supposed to do that in March.

I have to admit that I once added a plus one to an invitation. In my defense, my plus one had the car to take me to the wedding - lifelong new yorker, have had my permit for 17 years, just had really bad luck right before every road test and never taken it. But I ended up gifting them an item from the registry, as did my plus one, and gave them $50 as did my plus one. I'm exchange, the reception had a cash bar, cold food that at some point had been hot, and no music. It was at a wedding hall, but when I went to the bathroom, I overheard the FOG asking if they turned off the a/c - it was 90 outside - would they knock the price down. Another guest was a dj and offered to set as a present, and they turned him down. Then a cousin came in with an ipod full of religious songs...in the parking lot the venue owner was outside apologizing and giving out coupons. We then learned from a BM that the FOG had delayed putting food out because he didn't want people to eat as much, and had the bartenders charge double because "new yorkers are used to overpaying for drinks" and he pocketed the difference. Surreal.

I have like 200 comments to read, so I'll be back in a bit lol

My mom would never say my butt looked too big and I should have gone with the dress she picked out... because I'd probably go with the dress she picked out lol.

As kids, she didn't need to hit us. We just "knew". Her go-to was picking up the phone and calling "the bad boys home" or "the bad girls home". After she gave our our address, she'd hand us a garbage bag and a suitcase. Clothes in the suitcase and toys and books in the garbage bag. Only clothes allowed at the home, so goodwill was coming to get the rest of our stuff. For good measure she took us once to the home on the bus. It got to the point where she'd pick up the phone and say "hello, is this the bad kids home?" and we'd stop and listen for her to say "you know what, never mind, I don't need you today. thank you".

I was 15 when I realized she was just talking to the dialtone and 23 when I found out the home was an abandoned factory. Psychological discipline works so well lol.

I'm posting mobile since I really don't want to get out of bed. Anyone here willing to be a bouncer at my wedding can come and be fed lol. I'll give you a list of people to keep out - it's lengthy!! My guest list is serious business!!

How did we get from kids to ham? I have to admit I didn't read the 200 posts in the middle.....

@Catrapoin picking my own switch was a southern thing & grandma was from the Bayou. I didn't get that treatment since there are no trees on the Lower East Side but my Dad's got stories for days LOL

@Celia because @Catrapoin and I will work security in exchange for ham. We'll keep out those irresponsible parents and misbehaving children LOL

@Tiffanny I remember I told my mother that I'd call DYFUS on her. She passed me the phone and the number... never did that one again LOL

Lmao @Tiffanny!!! That is outstanding on your mom's part!!! Imma steal that for my repertoire

And yes, count me in as a bouncer!!

HAHAHAHAHAHA yup!! I told my mom once I'd call CPS if she spanked me. She handed me the phone and told me to call 911 instead and to pray they got to me before she did.

There's 8 years between me and brother #2 and 10 between me and brother #3. My father left (So he's one of the people you need to keep out Catrapoin!) when they were wee little. Most of their friends were actually the oldest kids in their families, and I swear, there was such a difference between how my brothers were raised and how their friends were raised. Much like the Comedian Russell Peters, one of their friends told them to call CPS so they tried that once. My mom looked at them and said "Hey, go ahead, I got the number right here and say that you hit me! Guess where they stick kids who lie?" "Where?" "The bad boys home!" "I don't believe you!" "Well, call em up and ask! I'll wait!" My brothers didn't call. But a few days later we had one of my mom's friends over for dinner. He worked for the city, in the court system. My mom asked him to tell us about his day. He goes into how he had to deal with some kids who were bad and what happens to them. Their faces, hahaha! Good times.

My comment was too long to include the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nn5jlrxcpkI

Http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xDl1DmoX890

Tiffanny, just show me pictures

This is such an epic (not e pic lol) post

Will do!

Btw Tiffanny- I'm Southern. A wedding with no pigs n blankets is no wedding.. Hell, any party without them isn't a party. They can be done up fancy with phyllo dough if necessary. But pigs n blankets are a necessity.

I LOVE that ham! We're thinking of doing it as an app, like a kebab, with chunks of the glazed ham, grilled pineapple chunks, and maraschino cherries.

I say go for it! each bride has to find her own way, you know what people are like with their kids that you are inviting, so do what is best for YOUR day!

Ooh are we talking about menus now?? mine's going to be awesome!!! we're going to have the best of both worlds -- half southern, half puerto rican! pernil and arroz con candules, habichuelas and garlic cream potatoes...and some variation of chicken, potato salad, watergate salad and another dish i haven't mapped out yet...any suggestions??

Oooooh arroz con gandules... Me encanta!! Shhh I use the recipe off the can and then ad lib