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Abbey
Beginner June 2020

Is my dress "right" for my situation?

Abbey, on January 5, 2020 at 8:14 AM

Posted in Wedding Attire 236

Hello everyone, A little background... I'm 37 years old, mother of two, and this is my second wedding. It's in 5 months and the ceremony will be in a garden outside a banquet hall. I was married too young the first time around and always felt my dress looked too frumpy/cute. This time around, I...

Hello everyone,

A little background... I'm 37 years old, mother of two, and this is my second wedding. It's in 5 months and the ceremony will be in a garden outside a banquet hall. I was married too young the first time around and always felt my dress looked too frumpy/cute. This time around, I feel like a "woman" and I'm less (but not by much) modest nowadays. I am not into fashion and having 15 years between weddings makes me feel out of touch. I'm literally the only female in my family (my fiance, two sons, my brother, his partner, my father, and three male cats), so I don't get girly often.

Dress shopping was emotionally charged as I lost my mother a year and a half ago to cancer. I was really missing her presence and I felt uneasy the whole experience. She was my best friend. She always said I needed A-line in everything (I'm pear shaped with a short torso). (Photos are pre-alteration).


I had two girlfriends with me who are so positive and way more up to date than I am on trends etc. When I put it on, my friends and the store stylist raved about how amazing it was. I felt confident and beautiful. I know my fiance would love the back especially Smiley winking I left feeling like I got a steal. I'm also on a budget. I bought this dress off the rack, and got 60% off. I have a friend that can do alterations affordably.


In true "me" fashion, I'm now second guessing the whole thing. My brain is fretting: Sale is final. It's too revealing. It's not right for my age. It's not what I had originally planned (modest, sleeves, mature). I have no business wearing something sexy. My mother wouldn't have approved. My back is exposed. Will I be able to dance? I've never worn anything form fitting before.... and on and on.


Now, my sons are more excited about the wedding and their roles in it than me sometimes. They have been so happy about me marrying their "bonus dad." Their dad and I had a strange, platonic, marriage and so they don't understand and aren't old enough to get that I want to be attractive for my new husband. I showed my ten year old and he said, "Mumma! Why do you want to be see through!!" and he looked uncomfortable. I asked my cute little jumping bean of a 7 year old, "do you like mommy's dress?" He smiled and said, "Nope!" and ran off to play some more. That's what has me the most worried.


I would love your honest opinions, because I'm clueless. I won't be hurt! But I'm pressed for time and I really need to be at ease. If that means shopping again, I should do it soon, and find a way to resell before it gets altered. Thanks!

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236 Comments

  • Margarie
    Dedicated October 2027
    Margarie ·
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    You look absolutely beautiful!
    • Reply
  • Dk
    Savvy May 2021
    Dk ·
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    Holy moly... I could have written this!


    I am 39 and this will be my second wedding. I lost my mom March of 2018 to leukemia. She and I had always talked about me having a 1950's tea length ball gown. I had everything set in my mind before we decided to plan the wedding for sure but by then, my mom was already gone.
    A few months before we decided to start planning, I saw my dress in a tailor shop. I am on a budget and being this is wedding #2, I am not spending a fortune.
    I go in... The dress fits... And it's a steal. $300 for a $2,000 silk ballgown. AND... It has pockets.
    Without hesitation, I buy it. And I also second guessed my choice thinking maybe it's too formal. We are getting married at our house the day before Easter in a surprise ceremony. Our guests think they are coming for our annual Easter event and that he's proposing that day but really... We are getting married.
    Here's what I think.
    You are not just a mom. You're becoming a wife. You are a beautiful woman and you should wear this dress with confidence. The back is absolutely gorgeous and it doesn't look see through. You look incredible in this dress and if you get that "this is THEE dress" feeling, then it's the dress.
    I have went back and tried my dress on like 5 times because I just love the way I feel in it. This is my dress. And while it may be too formal for a backyard wedding... I am going to wear my dress with Confidence and pride. I know my mom would have love my dress and I am sure your mom would have too ❤️.
    Is my dress "right" for my situation? 1
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  • A
    Just Said Yes May 2021
    Adriana ·
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    Are you kidding me? Its beautiful on you!!!!!! If you feel uncomfortable, add some material, but honey, you look FABULOUS. Your boys are probably not used to seeing you, as you said, getting girly.

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  • Ariel
    Just Said Yes May 2020
    Ariel ·
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    That dress looks amazing on you! You look stunning! And as long as you feel comfortable in it and love it, that's all that matters anyway!
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  • Melissa
    Devoted May 2021
    Melissa ·
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    I love it!!!!!!! First of all you are not too old for anything sexy! I think this dress looks amazing on you!
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  • Bethany
    Just Said Yes June 2021
    Bethany ·
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    I’m in the same boat! The dress is gorgeous on you! Go for it!
    • Reply
  • Aimee
    Super July 2021
    Aimee ·
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    It looks great on you! Little boys don’t care about that lol.
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  • Devoted June 2020
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    This is stunning, wedding date twin! Seriously, you are naturally beautiful and the lace is lovely. Please don’t stress about this, you look great.
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  • Caitlin
    Devoted September 2021
    Caitlin ·
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    Your dress is gorgeous and I think is very womanly and elegant. It is perfect for your situation. I believe your boys are being protective over you because you are their momma and they're not used to seeing you looking like a radiant, blushing bride, and they're too young to express it so it comes out as discomfort. I think you made an excellent choice. They will understand as they grow older.
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  • Devoted August 2021
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    That dress is gorgeous on you, it looks like it was custom made! I wouldn’t take what your boys are saying to heart. They’re probably just reacting to how different it might look to your everyday wear. Especially if they never see you in a dress. Best of luck!!
    • Reply
  • H
    Just Said Yes January 2020
    Hailey ·
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    Girl this dress looks amazing on you!! I feel as though sometimes kids are too young to understand wanting to be attractive for someone and not quite understand the “specialness” of the occasion to the full extent. I don’t think that the dress is too revealing or anything like that. I truly think you look amazing. I also think that your mother would be proud. I don’t know you or your family in any way but I don’t think that what you wear changes if your mother is proud or not. You are raising two tiny humans and doing what is (in your eyes) best for your family which includes getting married. That in itself is something she would be proud of. You’re doing great and that dress is stunning! 😍
    • Reply
  • Amanda
    Just Said Yes August 2020
    Amanda ·
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    Definitely keep the dress the way it is! U look great .. my son wouldn’t even look up from his video game when I asked him what he thinks about mine .. lol boys 💁‍♀️🤦‍♀️
    • Reply
  • Yamini
    Just Said Yes May 2021
    Yamini ·
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    You do look stunning in that dress. I dont have much to offer but reassurance. Your mother loves you whether she's here in body or spirit. She may not have approved of it for herself but I feel a loving mother wants what is best for her child and seeing you so happy in that dress would be what she wants for you. You'll always have her in your heart especially on your big day. I do feel very young kids won't have a huge opinion because they're not focused on it as much as the bride and groom would be. It isn't their party or event so they dont really know what they are and are not supposed to do. I think that even if the kids aren't absolutely in love with how you look that shouldn't stop you from being in the dress of your dreams. Your future husband if he truly loves you for everything that makes you who you are then he doesnt care if you're in a garbage bag walk im ng down the aisle. Just knowing you're going to be married should be enough for everyone else to be happy. If YOU love this dress and feel like a bombshell in it and want your future husband to see you walk down the aisle in that dress then congratulations that is the dress for you.
    • Reply
  • Sarah
    Just Said Yes July 2020
    Sarah ·
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    You look so beautiful! Clearly this dress was meant for you. Don’t let your self-doubt get in the way of your special day. You are stunning in this dress and it’s clear that it makes you feel amazing, and you deserve that, so go for it!
    • Reply
  • Dierdra
    Super August 2021
    Dierdra ·
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    I think for little boys its hard - lol they may just think they can catch cooties from you in a "girly" dress. My nephew told me that one when he said he didn't like it lol. I think the dress looks gorgeous and really isn't too revealing. I think your FH will love it! You need the bridal love now! Soak it in! You made a good decision

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  • Maria
    Beginner August 2020
    Maria ·
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    It looks beautiful!!! Keep it.
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  • S
    Just Said Yes April 2021
    Sara ·
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    Romantic and classy with a hint of sexy. I love the dress. It looks stunning on you
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  • Athena
    Just Said Yes October 2021
    Athena ·
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    You look great. Forget what other people think. When you look good, you feel good and vice versa. You my dear look great! The whole point is for you to feel good jn the dress and for your husband to imagine taking it off of you.
    And even at the back of your mind if a small percent of you thinks it doesnt look good, you are a strong ass woman who has gone through worse. A dress that you'll wear once and everyone will forget can never stand in your way.
    • Reply
  • Christina
    Just Said Yes December 2020
    Christina ·
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    I’m almost in the same position but my mother is able to be with me, she just makes me feel like I am an old hag and shouldn’t be having a wedding at all Smiley sad the most important thing to remember is that your wedding is all about YOU! You look absolutely amazing and I would kill to look that good in that dress! It’s gorgeous and so are you !! Embrace the moments that make you feel special and allow yourself to be you!!
    • Reply
  • J
    Just Said Yes February 2020
    Jennifer ·
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    I think it looks amazing on you. Good luck and you look beautiful!
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