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Abbey
Beginner June 2020

Is my dress "right" for my situation?

Abbey, on January 5, 2020 at 8:14 AM

Posted in Wedding Attire 236

Hello everyone, A little background... I'm 37 years old, mother of two, and this is my second wedding. It's in 5 months and the ceremony will be in a garden outside a banquet hall. I was married too young the first time around and always felt my dress looked too frumpy/cute. This time around, I...

Hello everyone,

A little background... I'm 37 years old, mother of two, and this is my second wedding. It's in 5 months and the ceremony will be in a garden outside a banquet hall. I was married too young the first time around and always felt my dress looked too frumpy/cute. This time around, I feel like a "woman" and I'm less (but not by much) modest nowadays. I am not into fashion and having 15 years between weddings makes me feel out of touch. I'm literally the only female in my family (my fiance, two sons, my brother, his partner, my father, and three male cats), so I don't get girly often.

Dress shopping was emotionally charged as I lost my mother a year and a half ago to cancer. I was really missing her presence and I felt uneasy the whole experience. She was my best friend. She always said I needed A-line in everything (I'm pear shaped with a short torso). (Photos are pre-alteration).


I had two girlfriends with me who are so positive and way more up to date than I am on trends etc. When I put it on, my friends and the store stylist raved about how amazing it was. I felt confident and beautiful. I know my fiance would love the back especially Smiley winking I left feeling like I got a steal. I'm also on a budget. I bought this dress off the rack, and got 60% off. I have a friend that can do alterations affordably.


In true "me" fashion, I'm now second guessing the whole thing. My brain is fretting: Sale is final. It's too revealing. It's not right for my age. It's not what I had originally planned (modest, sleeves, mature). I have no business wearing something sexy. My mother wouldn't have approved. My back is exposed. Will I be able to dance? I've never worn anything form fitting before.... and on and on.


Now, my sons are more excited about the wedding and their roles in it than me sometimes. They have been so happy about me marrying their "bonus dad." Their dad and I had a strange, platonic, marriage and so they don't understand and aren't old enough to get that I want to be attractive for my new husband. I showed my ten year old and he said, "Mumma! Why do you want to be see through!!" and he looked uncomfortable. I asked my cute little jumping bean of a 7 year old, "do you like mommy's dress?" He smiled and said, "Nope!" and ran off to play some more. That's what has me the most worried.


I would love your honest opinions, because I'm clueless. I won't be hurt! But I'm pressed for time and I really need to be at ease. If that means shopping again, I should do it soon, and find a way to resell before it gets altered. Thanks!

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236 Comments

  • K
    Beginner May 2021
    Kat ·
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    It's a stunning dress and you look amazing ❤️ I think it can bestrange for boys to realize their moms are girls for the first time. That's what happened to my mom with my stepbrother. He was 11 and his first words when he saw her were "woah you're a girl?" Wear the dress you feel beautiful in tbh they won't remember what you wore they'll remember the cake, and looking back at pictures they'll think you look stunning ❤️
    • Reply
  • B
    Just Said Yes September 2020
    Berlyne ·
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    The dress is beautiful! It looks great on you!!!! Please get the dress girl!!!
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  • Cheryl
    Just Said Yes August 2020
    Cheryl ·
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    You look absolutely Amazing and Comfortable... Your body looks great... Just Glowing


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  • N
    Just Said Yes March 2023
    Nadeen ·
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    It’s perfect!
    • Reply
  • Jakeline
    Beginner August 2022
    Jakeline ·
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    You look absolutely stunning in that dress ! It definitely compliments your siluet Smiley smile great choice !!
    • Reply
  • Carolina
    Just Said Yes August 2020
    Carolina ·
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    Omg the dress is beautiful 😍 Go for it !!!
    • Reply
  • Angelica
    Devoted August 2021
    Angelica ·
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    You look absolutely STUNNING! If it feels right, it can’t be wrong!❤️
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  • Amber
    Just Said Yes August 2020
    Amber ·
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    That dress is Gorgeous♥️❤️♥️❤️😭😭
    • Reply
  • C
    Savvy September 2021
    Cherie ·
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    You are so blessed to be getting married again...why not wear exactly what you want it’s your special day
    • Reply
  • Caitlin
    Expert January 2021
    Caitlin ·
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    Omg!!! you look beautiful and the dress seems perfect for you as it totally shapes you in a tasteful way. wedding dress shopping isnt as easy as it might seem and i am quite the indecisive bride as well. it doesnt look too young or fashionable but instead looks classic and elegant. so sorry to hear about your mom but she would tell you the same as everyone else- you look beautiful and the dress 100% compliments you. little ones dont quite understand the whole seriousness of big events so i wouldnt stress any unintentionally snide remarks. they, along with everyone else, will be stunned when they see you. most brides go back and forth between experiencing buyers remorse in some way or another after purchasing a wedding dress but you will quickly grow fond of it again. you look excellent and you have a body that most girls dream of so relax and enjoy your big day!
    • Reply
  • Sylvia
    Beginner December 2021
    Sylvia ·
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    This looks stunning on you! It is by no means immodest! I think you definitely do not look your age(in a good way)and you should go with your gut! You chose the dress! It must have felt right to you before all the second guessing. I know it can be a lot of pressure to be the perfect bride and blow everyone away including your husband, but this day is about YOU. Your husband is gonna faint! There is nothing wrong with wanting to look stunning and a little different for your man girl! Own this dress and don't let the negative thoughts trick you!
    • Reply
  • Shay
    Just Said Yes February 2020
    Shay ·
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    Love it, think it's amazing.
    • Reply
  • Yvonne
    Just Said Yes August 2020
    Yvonne ·
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    It’s absolutely gorgeous on you! Don’t return it!! You work it!!
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  • C
    Just Said Yes April 2021
    Carolynn ·
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    You look absolutely gorgeous! I don’t think it’s too revealing at all! This dress will have heads turning and your future husband grinning hard! Don’t second guess your choice at all!!
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  • Sherita
    Just Said Yes October 2020
    Sherita ·
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    It’s beautiful and looks great on you 😊
    • Reply
  • A
    September 2020
    Amanda ·
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    Beautiful! I’m in a similar situation and looking at a similar dress style.
    • Reply
  • Tayler
    Savvy September 2020
    Tayler ·
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    No don't return it! I love it and it looks great on you! Boys don't understand fashion so don't let your little ones get you feeling uneasy about it! You husband is to sure love it! At the end of the day, you want it to be exactly what you want. So if you really don't like it, maybe look around.. it never hurts to try on more dresses, & If your mind keeps comparing the dresses you try on to that one, then you know THAT is the one!

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  • Erin
    Devoted September 2021
    Erin ·
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    You look stunning! That dress looks amazing on you! Keep it!!!
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  • Nora
    Beginner October 2021
    Nora ·
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    DO NOT return the dress!!! you look absolutely stunning.

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  • Kari
    Master May 2020
    Kari ·
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    You look GORGEOUS! I don't think there is anything about your dress that is inappropriate, and think a 37 year old mom of two with a figure and smile like yours should absolutely rock a dress that you feel beautiful in and know your future husband will love. It's AMAZING! Don't feel like you need to hide your body or cover up your arms just because it's your second marriage, you aren't 20 something, and you've made babies. You say that dress made you feel CONFIDENT and BEAUTIFUL? Darn right. Wear it and be proud of how it makes you feel. You look STUNNING!

    I agree with Kristen that you could add a fingertip veil or maybe even a dress topper to "cover up" a bit if you feel you want to, and those could be worn for just some of the wedding and removed really easily, so you could have two looks with one dress, and the option of being more covered without having to make alterations to the style. That way if you decide you want to be "more modest" for say family photos with your boys, you could, but you could also have that gorgeous low back exposed for photos with your new husband. I don't think you need to cover up at all, because like I said, this dress isn't too revealing or inappropriate at all, but it's a option if that makes you more comfortable or feel you are indecisive.

    I LOVE IT!

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