Abbey
Beginner June 2020

Is my dress "right" for my situation?

Abbey, on January 5, 2020 at 8:14 AM Posted in Wedding Attire 13 236
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Hello everyone,

A little background... I'm 37 years old, mother of two, and this is my second wedding. It's in 5 months and the ceremony will be in a garden outside a banquet hall. I was married too young the first time around and always felt my dress looked too frumpy/cute. This time around, I feel like a "woman" and I'm less (but not by much) modest nowadays. I am not into fashion and having 15 years between weddings makes me feel out of touch. I'm literally the only female in my family (my fiance, two sons, my brother, his partner, my father, and three male cats), so I don't get girly often.

Dress shopping was emotionally charged as I lost my mother a year and a half ago to cancer. I was really missing her presence and I felt uneasy the whole experience. She was my best friend. She always said I needed A-line in everything (I'm pear shaped with a short torso). (Photos are pre-alteration).


I had two girlfriends with me who are so positive and way more up to date than I am on trends etc. When I put it on, my friends and the store stylist raved about how amazing it was. I felt confident and beautiful. I know my fiance would love the back especially Smiley winking I left feeling like I got a steal. I'm also on a budget. I bought this dress off the rack, and got 60% off. I have a friend that can do alterations affordably.


In true "me" fashion, I'm now second guessing the whole thing. My brain is fretting: Sale is final. It's too revealing. It's not right for my age. It's not what I had originally planned (modest, sleeves, mature). I have no business wearing something sexy. My mother wouldn't have approved. My back is exposed. Will I be able to dance? I've never worn anything form fitting before.... and on and on.


Now, my sons are more excited about the wedding and their roles in it than me sometimes. They have been so happy about me marrying their "bonus dad." Their dad and I had a strange, platonic, marriage and so they don't understand and aren't old enough to get that I want to be attractive for my new husband. I showed my ten year old and he said, "Mumma! Why do you want to be see through!!" and he looked uncomfortable. I asked my cute little jumping bean of a 7 year old, "do you like mommy's dress?" He smiled and said, "Nope!" and ran off to play some more. That's what has me the most worried.


I would love your honest opinions, because I'm clueless. I won't be hurt! But I'm pressed for time and I really need to be at ease. If that means shopping again, I should do it soon, and find a way to resell before it gets altered. Thanks!

FrontIs my dress "right" for my situation? 1

Back/TrainIs my dress "right" for my situation? 2

Front 2Is my dress "right" for my situation? 3


236 Comments

Latest activity by Erin, on April 13, 2020 at 11:27 PM
  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
    • Flag
    Return that dress and i will bad talk to you on these forums lol. It's beautiful and you look gorgeous. That dress is so fitting on you. I think you can cover with a nice finger tip veil or maybe add sleeves and you can add fabric in between the bust but honestly that dress is perfect as it is.
    • Reply
  • Fenja
    VIP August 2021
    Fenja ·
    • Flag

    I think the dress is beautiful!! Also I think your smile looks like you really love the dress. Do you feel comfortable in it?

    • Reply
  • Mandi
    Master October 2020
    Mandi ·
    • Flag
    Stop. You look stunning.
    You're 37. Not 107. The dress is perfect.
    I do regret to inform you that, although your sons may have many talents, they probably won't be working in the fashion industry and that is okay.
    • Reply
  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Even if she was 107 if you got a body to rock that dress do it lol.
    • Reply
  • Kelsey
    VIP September 2020
    Kelsey ·
    • Flag
    You look amazing in your dress! I love the lace on it.
    • Reply
  • Jai
    Rockstar May 2020
    Jai ·
    • Flag
    You look gorgeous and breath takingly beautiful. This dress suits your body shape!
    • Reply
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    • Flag
    That dress looks like it was made for you! It’s absolutely gorgeous.
    • Reply
  • Savannah
    Savvy June 2020
    Savannah ·
    • Flag
    You look absolutely stunning!! Little boys are silly haha don’t trust their opinion on your wedding dress, they are just stoked to get a bonus dad! Take a deep breath and smileSmiley smile
    • Reply
  • Lauren
    Beginner November 2021
    Lauren ·
    • Flag
    You look gorgeous! Your dress is not too sexy. It is the right amount of style and beauty Smiley smile I went through a phase where I also thought I bought the wrong dress and was a bit panicky. But now I’m in love with my dress again and so happy I got it!! As someone who also lost their mom, dress shopping was super charged and a bit sad. BUT it sounds like you also had great support around you and people who helped you find what will make you look beautiful for your big day. You mom would want you to be happy and feel confident and that is exactly how you look in those photos Smiley smile
    • Reply
  • Flame Princess
    Dedicated April 2021
    Flame Princess ·
    • Flag
    You look SO confident in that dress! Dont return it. Complete opposite of the dress you described for your first.


    • Reply
  • Megan
    Super October 2020
    Megan ·
    • Flag
    You look absolutely stunning in that dress 💕 and 60% off!! Omg what a steal!


    I hope you’re able to fall in love with your dress again. You look really beautiful in it.
    • Reply
  • Don
    Super February 2021
    Don ·
    • Flag
    Nicole,
    I'm so sorry 😢 you lost your mom, and I'm positive she would have LOVED your dress, I agree with all the other girls who say this dress is perfect for you, YOU ARE GORGEOUS, I'm a lace girl, I love all the lace, it's so pretty, you definitely made the right choice, you are STUNNING, I wish I felt as strongly about my 👗 I've still got 13 months to go and now I question my choice everyday, love to get your opinion of my dress if you care to see it, it's a Stella York, style 6979 from the 2019 collection !!!! good luck!!!
    • Reply
  • Don
    Super February 2021
    Don ·
    • Flag
    Abbey, I'm so sorry I called you Nicole, confused my discussions, sorry girl!
    • Reply
  • Jodie
    Expert August 2020
    Jodie ·
    • Flag

    Ok...First of all you really need to tell your brain to shut the hell up. That dress is stunning and you look amazing in it. Second of all...what are you supposed to wear at 37? A circus tent? A dress that covers you from your nose to your toes? If that's the case I, a 40 year old first time bride, am screwed with my strapless, lace dress...lol Your dress is not too revealing. A swimsuit shows more than your dress. Shorts and a tank top show more than your dress. What do you wear in the summer? Turtle necks and long pants? You have skin. It's not a terrible thing to let it see sunlight once in awhile. All of the necessary bits are covered appropriately. Oh...and I really wouldn't base your wedding attire on the opinions of a ten or seven year old boy. They tend to lack the style sense at that age...But seriously...that first picture says it all. You're glowing. You have a million watt smile. You look genuinely happy. Unless you are one hell of an actress it appears that you loved that dress in that moment. Roll with that and trust that you will look friggen amazing on your wedding day waltzing down the aisle to your FH!

    • Reply
  • Meghan
    Master October 2019
    Meghan ·
    • Flag
    You look absolutely gorgeous in your dress!!! It is not at all too revealing and literally looks like it was made just for you!! Your FH is going to love it! You made a great choice! It’s so pretty!
    • Reply
  • Kathryn
    VIP August 2020
    Kathryn ·
    • Flag
    You look AMAZING. If the back bothers you, you can probably get it lined. But you look fantastic and your smile says everything. That dress is stunning and fits you without alterations. If that dress makes you feel beautiful and confident, then keep it. Your boys will probably just be super excited about a stepdad and you deserve to be feel good on your day.
    • Reply
  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Post a pic of the dress in a different forum so we can see. I am sure it is beautiful! Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • Abbey
    Beginner June 2020
    Abbey ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Thank you! At first, I wasn't comfy until I learned that in order to sit in a mermaid style you lift from the bottom a big, haha. Then I felt good!

    • Reply
  • Abbey
    Beginner June 2020
    Abbey ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Thank you, I wasn't familiar which body shapes worked with mermaid styles.

    • Reply
  • Kristyn
    Devoted July 2020
    Kristyn ·
    • Flag
    Wow I think that you look stunning in this dress!!! your absolutely beautiful and have a terrific body I think the dress fits you perfectly and emphasizes your body beautifully! I think that it is super classy and elegant and very appropriate! if your kids are like mine they just say anything so they can get back to playing or doing what they were doing lol they will think your beautiful in whatever you have your mama and they love you
    • Reply

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