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Abbey
Beginner June 2020

Is my dress "right" for my situation?

Abbey, on January 5, 2020 at 8:14 AM

Posted in Wedding Attire 236

Hello everyone, A little background... I'm 37 years old, mother of two, and this is my second wedding. It's in 5 months and the ceremony will be in a garden outside a banquet hall. I was married too young the first time around and always felt my dress looked too frumpy/cute. This time around, I...

Hello everyone,

A little background... I'm 37 years old, mother of two, and this is my second wedding. It's in 5 months and the ceremony will be in a garden outside a banquet hall. I was married too young the first time around and always felt my dress looked too frumpy/cute. This time around, I feel like a "woman" and I'm less (but not by much) modest nowadays. I am not into fashion and having 15 years between weddings makes me feel out of touch. I'm literally the only female in my family (my fiance, two sons, my brother, his partner, my father, and three male cats), so I don't get girly often.

Dress shopping was emotionally charged as I lost my mother a year and a half ago to cancer. I was really missing her presence and I felt uneasy the whole experience. She was my best friend. She always said I needed A-line in everything (I'm pear shaped with a short torso). (Photos are pre-alteration).


I had two girlfriends with me who are so positive and way more up to date than I am on trends etc. When I put it on, my friends and the store stylist raved about how amazing it was. I felt confident and beautiful. I know my fiance would love the back especially Smiley winking I left feeling like I got a steal. I'm also on a budget. I bought this dress off the rack, and got 60% off. I have a friend that can do alterations affordably.


In true "me" fashion, I'm now second guessing the whole thing. My brain is fretting: Sale is final. It's too revealing. It's not right for my age. It's not what I had originally planned (modest, sleeves, mature). I have no business wearing something sexy. My mother wouldn't have approved. My back is exposed. Will I be able to dance? I've never worn anything form fitting before.... and on and on.


Now, my sons are more excited about the wedding and their roles in it than me sometimes. They have been so happy about me marrying their "bonus dad." Their dad and I had a strange, platonic, marriage and so they don't understand and aren't old enough to get that I want to be attractive for my new husband. I showed my ten year old and he said, "Mumma! Why do you want to be see through!!" and he looked uncomfortable. I asked my cute little jumping bean of a 7 year old, "do you like mommy's dress?" He smiled and said, "Nope!" and ran off to play some more. That's what has me the most worried.


I would love your honest opinions, because I'm clueless. I won't be hurt! But I'm pressed for time and I really need to be at ease. If that means shopping again, I should do it soon, and find a way to resell before it gets altered. Thanks!

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236 Comments

  • S
    Expert October 2019
    Sara ·
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    Absolutely beautiful!! 😍
    • Reply
  • Chrysta
    Master November 2022
    Chrysta ·
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    That dress is absolutely stunning on you!! If I were you, I would never even contemplate another dress!! Your FH is going to be blown away when he sees you. And, as much as I am sure you love your sons, I wouldn’t suggest taking fashion advice from them. If I had listened to my niece on my dress selection, I would be wearing a rainbow tutu down the aisle LOL
    • Reply
  • Nandi
    Dedicated March 2021
    Nandi ·
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    You look AMAZING in that dress !! I love it !! Keep it ! 😀😀😀
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  • E
    Savvy April 2020
    Edie ·
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    OMG!! You're so BEAUTIFUL!! That dress looks amazing on you! I'm 50, wedding is in April, and my 19 year old daughter is also getting on to me about my dress being see-through (the back), so I get where you're coming from. She made me 2nd guess myself for sure. I showed her the backless bra that I will be using and she slacked off on that, but is still reprimanding me because my dress is short. LOL Your dress is very classy and elegant and simply gorgeous. One question though ... from experience ... can you sit down in it?

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  • Shannon
    Just Said Yes May 2021
    Shannon ·
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    Don’t second guess it! It looks beautiful and you look super young! Would have never guessed you had kids.
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  • Veronica
    Dedicated September 2019
    Veronica ·
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    I love that dress on you!!! It looks stylish and beautiful Plus lace looks good on you for a garden wedding. I would get it!!!
    • Reply
  • W
    Just Said Yes August 2020
    Wendy ·
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    Absolutely Beautiful!
    • Reply
  • Veronica
    Just Said Yes April 2020
    Veronica ·
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    The dress it beautiful, go with your gut feeling, and remember everyone is going to think you are beautiful no matter what dress u pick.
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  • Gabbie
    Dedicated May 2021
    Gabbie ·
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    Kids are weird, man. Idk how they thought that up. I will say I have bias as to whats appropriate because im 19, but that being said, its not like 37 is some old lady. The dress is beautiful, and before i saw the pictures, when i was reading your story, i was like oh, no its going to be a dress with a short slip that just barely covers her butt. Like, thats what youre making it out to be.
    In reality, i would say it looks perfectly fine.
    If you really must cover the gorgeous back of your dress, a long veil should cover anything you dont want seen. Veils are translucent usually and would skew the veiw, but im sure there are opaque white options if you feel that even that isnt enough. You want to be confident, so whatever you think makes the dress you love workable. Even if you have to wear something over your shoulders?
    • Reply
  • Naomi
    Beginner October 2021
    Naomi ·
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    Oh my goodness! You look beautiful. Forget everyone’s opinions and wear what makes you feel good. You’re not having the wedding for your mother it’s for you! And you look gorgeous!
    • Reply
  • Abbey
    Beginner June 2020
    Abbey ·
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    Wow! Thank you so much for all of the compliments and support! I’m feeling better now. This was my first post here and I really appreciate all the fast, kind, helpful responses!
    • Reply
  • Glacier
    Dedicated June 2020
    Glacier ·
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    Your dress is gorgeous and you look amazing in it! Please keep it! ❤️
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  • L
    Just Said Yes April 2020
    Lynda ·
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    It’s beautiful and you look absolutely stunning. They’re just not used to thinking of you as a girl and not just their mama. A lot of little boys don’t think of mans as girls.
    • Reply
  • D
    Beginner February 2020
    Danielle ·
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    2 questions.
    1. Do you feel uncomfortable in the dress?
    2. Are your boys uncomfortable with you in a bathing suit?
    If you yes yes to either question, then you should modify the dress to fit that. Otherwise consider your audience that you are asking, they are both young boys who most likely don't understand what or why you are asking them about your clothes. I think you look stunning in the dress and your expression says you love it. Change it only if you are uncomfortable. It's your day and you should be happy.
    • Reply
  • Alejandra
    Super November 2021
    Alejandra ·
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    You’re stunning! 37 is still incredibly young. Your kids are 7 and 10 year old boys lol. They probably don’t understand fashion at all, and that’s okay! You look beautiful in it and it looks perfect on your!
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  • Courtney
    Expert July 2020
    Courtney ·
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    As I’m reading this , I’m literally thinking it’s going to be something totally revealing but it’s not! This dress is beautiful and you look amazing in it! I think that maybe you’re just a little stressed and overwhelmed. I’m sure on the wedding day, your kids will love it! I think you would look great on that day and your FH will love it!
    • Reply
  • Sammi
    Savvy July 2021
    Sammi ·
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    You look absolutely gorgeous in that dress!!! It is very flattering on you and I would say it is not too revealing or inappropriate at all. I am not one to comment on these forums, however, when I saw this, there was no way I could not! That dress really looks like it was meant for you. The dress I picked out is nothing that I had originally pictured myself getting and there were days I have second guessed it as well and felt that I had rushed my experience, but once I went in for my second fitting and tried it on again, I re-fell in love. That's when I got the feeling of "wow, I am not going to second guess myself anymore, this is it." Now I can't wait for the rest of my fittings and of course my wedding day! I have a similar body type to you (short torso, pear shape body) and what I found with wedding dresses as well is that even though it may be form fitting, they really can compliment your body type and with dancing (one of the first things I tried out when I found my dress lol,) my dress has a similar fit to it and I was able to move in it no problem! (: You look gorgeous in it and should definitely keep this dress for sure.

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  • Beverly
    Just Said Yes July 2020
    Beverly ·
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    I love the dress!
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  • Alex
    Savvy May 2021
    Alex ·
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    I’m so in love with that dress ❤️ it looks DAMN good on you girl. You’re still young. Don’t let your situation ruin your instinct to buy that amazing dress.
    • Reply
  • Allie
    Just Said Yes May 2020
    Allie ·
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    This dress looks absolutely gorgeous on you!!
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