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Abbey
Beginner June 2020

Is my dress "right" for my situation?

Abbey, on January 5, 2020 at 8:14 AM

Posted in Wedding Attire 236

Hello everyone, A little background... I'm 37 years old, mother of two, and this is my second wedding. It's in 5 months and the ceremony will be in a garden outside a banquet hall. I was married too young the first time around and always felt my dress looked too frumpy/cute. This time around, I...

Hello everyone,

A little background... I'm 37 years old, mother of two, and this is my second wedding. It's in 5 months and the ceremony will be in a garden outside a banquet hall. I was married too young the first time around and always felt my dress looked too frumpy/cute. This time around, I feel like a "woman" and I'm less (but not by much) modest nowadays. I am not into fashion and having 15 years between weddings makes me feel out of touch. I'm literally the only female in my family (my fiance, two sons, my brother, his partner, my father, and three male cats), so I don't get girly often.

Dress shopping was emotionally charged as I lost my mother a year and a half ago to cancer. I was really missing her presence and I felt uneasy the whole experience. She was my best friend. She always said I needed A-line in everything (I'm pear shaped with a short torso). (Photos are pre-alteration).


I had two girlfriends with me who are so positive and way more up to date than I am on trends etc. When I put it on, my friends and the store stylist raved about how amazing it was. I felt confident and beautiful. I know my fiance would love the back especially Smiley winking I left feeling like I got a steal. I'm also on a budget. I bought this dress off the rack, and got 60% off. I have a friend that can do alterations affordably.


In true "me" fashion, I'm now second guessing the whole thing. My brain is fretting: Sale is final. It's too revealing. It's not right for my age. It's not what I had originally planned (modest, sleeves, mature). I have no business wearing something sexy. My mother wouldn't have approved. My back is exposed. Will I be able to dance? I've never worn anything form fitting before.... and on and on.


Now, my sons are more excited about the wedding and their roles in it than me sometimes. They have been so happy about me marrying their "bonus dad." Their dad and I had a strange, platonic, marriage and so they don't understand and aren't old enough to get that I want to be attractive for my new husband. I showed my ten year old and he said, "Mumma! Why do you want to be see through!!" and he looked uncomfortable. I asked my cute little jumping bean of a 7 year old, "do you like mommy's dress?" He smiled and said, "Nope!" and ran off to play some more. That's what has me the most worried.


I would love your honest opinions, because I'm clueless. I won't be hurt! But I'm pressed for time and I really need to be at ease. If that means shopping again, I should do it soon, and find a way to resell before it gets altered. Thanks!

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236 Comments

  • Abbey
    Beginner June 2020
    Abbey ·
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    You sound just like my MOH, thank you for the reality check Smiley heart Thinking more about it, it's probably the mom-guilt from the divorce talking... like I should always work around my sons' feelings no matter what because of how I altered their lives. I teach elementary school and I'm used to being covered 24/7. This is out of my comfort zone, but probably in a good way Smiley smile

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  • Abbey
    Beginner June 2020
    Abbey ·
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    Thank you, I love your dress as well! I think my mom would be so happy to see my transformation. I'm blessed that she met my FH before she passed; she really really liked him. On her deathbed she kept asking, "where's your ring?" But we had only been together about 7 months at the time and weren't ready to be engaged yet. She saw me go through a lot of heartbreak and I wish she could see how happy I am today. I wanted this dress to be the polar opposite of my first, because I'm a completely different woman today.

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  • Cyndy
    Master May 2019
    Cyndy ·
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    That dress is gorgeous on you! It fits your body perfectly and makes you look sexy but at the same time classy.
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  • Reena
    Expert February 2021
    Reena ·
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    That dress is gorgeous on you. I’m 36 and my dress is very similar in terms of the shape. We are not too old for this style.


    For mine I’m just going to close in the front a little so it doesn’t plunge down too much. Something to consider if you would like to make it a little more modest.
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  • Don
    Super February 2021
    Don ·
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    Thank you Abbey, I'm still unsure about my dress, i think I love yours more than mine now, good luck!
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  • Jodie
    Expert August 2020
    Jodie ·
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    Glad I could help. Smiley heart I totally understand about your profession keeping you covered, I'm the same way (I work in the medical field and am in scrubs all day...lol) but I'm assuming you aren't getting married in your classroom during a school day so you can definitely pull off that dress! It's the start of your happily ever after! It's the best time to step out of your teacher role and be a real person for a bit! I wish you the best of luck!

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  • S
    Devoted October 2020
    Stephanie ·
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    That dress is amazing and I personally think it’s pretty modest! You need to keep that dress! Your kids are probably just not used to seeing you in such fancy attire, but I think once everyone else is also all dressed up it’ll be fine!
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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    That dress is GORGEOUS and not too revealing at all! If you’re worried about what your sons think, is there a way you could alter it to just close up the neckline a bit? Again, I don’t think it’s revealing at all but it seems like you’ll be happier if they’re happier, and maybe they’ll do it?
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  • Megan
    Expert November 2022
    Megan ·
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    Love this dress and it looks perfect on you!
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  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
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    You are GORGEOUS. And you rock that dress, it was made for you! 💕


    I was 44 when I married and wore a ballgown. It was very me and I felt beautiful. You are a beautiful woman who clearly rocks a classy and sophisticated (with a bit of classy sexy) mermaid gown. 😘
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  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
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    PS For a sexier mermaid gown, yours is still quite modest. Some gowns have sheer side cutouts, a plunging neckline that exposes cleavage, and such a low back that it demands “commando” or panty lines would show! 🤭
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  • Jennifer
    Beginner June 2021
    Jennifer ·
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    That dress is beautiful! And it looks perfect on you! I don't think its overly revealing at all and there is nothing wrong with wearing that dress at 37. As much as I can understand your worry to your boys' reaction, they are 7 and 10 yo boys. If they are anything like my FH boys, they're more concerned with hot wheels, playing outside and why I always make them wash their hands, then a wedding dress (hence the younger ones reaction/response). If you can picture your fh husband seeing you on this dress and its what you want to be wearing when he sees you walking down the aisle to him, keep it and wear it!
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  • Sweet'N'Rhodes
    Devoted March 2022
    Sweet'N'Rhodes ·
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    I laughed so hard at this image in my head of that kind of dress that I teared up. It sounds like a Dr Seuss dress to me. Smiley xd


    But Abbey, that dress is gorgeous on you. If you love it, and feel good in it, then that is what matters.

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  • Jodie
    Expert August 2020
    Jodie ·
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    Lol then I'm pretty sure you saw the same thing I did in my head when my brain was trying to process what Abbey was saying. My imagination gets a little crazy sometimes. Smiley laugh

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  • sierra
    Just Said Yes January 2021
    sierra ·
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    I'm a bridal stylist and I've had 60 year olds get married in sexy dresses and 19 year olds get married in super conservative dresses. You look AMAZING and as long as you feel that way, you're golden!

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  • B
    VIP July 2017
    Becky ·
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    Please allow me to address your concerns point by point.

    Sale is final: Good - you look beautiful.

    It's too revealing: It's not really all that revealing - it may just feel that way due to the low back - but even that isn't that low.

    You're 37: OK. I was 37 when I got married. I wore a strapless, low backed dress. You should wear what makes you feel confident and beautiful.

    It's not what you planned: Many (perhaps most) brides end up in something different than they planned.

    You have no business wearing something sexy: I can't even.

    Your mother wouldn't approve: Your mother helped you find that dress. I believe that with my whole heart.

    The back is too low: See above.

    Can you dance: Only if you can dance regularly. Otherwise, you'll do whatever kind of "dancing" you normally do.

    As for your boys not liking it: They are 7 and 10 year old boys. They aren't going to care one way or the other. 7 probably has no idea that he hurt your feelings.

    Your FH loves you. You are going to knock his socks off. You look beautiful.

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  • E
    Savvy May 2021
    Em ·
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    No don’t return it!!! You look absolutely stunning! Like other people said, 37 is not old at all. And it’s all about how you feel in it and if you like it. Especially not if you think you’re “not allowed” to wear it or be sexy. You have every right! Just make the best choice for you! Good luck 😊
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  • Noelle
    Expert November 2019
    Noelle ·
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    You look amazing and gorgeous in that dress.
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  • Joy
    Savvy February 2020
    Joy ·
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    OMG!!! You look AMAMZING in this dress. I say go for it. I am a 44 y/o bride and single Mom of 3 girls - who says you can't be sexy and tasteful at the same time. The price seems right for your budget. This dress is a show stopper and you look stunning.
    • Reply
  • Fleur
    October 2020
    Fleur ·
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    ZOMG I literally cried at Don & Becky’s reply to you!! The part about your mom, sniff sniff. Count me in as another bride that LOVES the dress and wishes you every happiness! ❤️
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