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Abbey
Beginner June 2020

Is my dress "right" for my situation?

Abbey, on January 5, 2020 at 8:14 AM

Posted in Wedding Attire 236

Hello everyone, A little background... I'm 37 years old, mother of two, and this is my second wedding. It's in 5 months and the ceremony will be in a garden outside a banquet hall. I was married too young the first time around and always felt my dress looked too frumpy/cute. This time around, I...

Hello everyone,

A little background... I'm 37 years old, mother of two, and this is my second wedding. It's in 5 months and the ceremony will be in a garden outside a banquet hall. I was married too young the first time around and always felt my dress looked too frumpy/cute. This time around, I feel like a "woman" and I'm less (but not by much) modest nowadays. I am not into fashion and having 15 years between weddings makes me feel out of touch. I'm literally the only female in my family (my fiance, two sons, my brother, his partner, my father, and three male cats), so I don't get girly often.

Dress shopping was emotionally charged as I lost my mother a year and a half ago to cancer. I was really missing her presence and I felt uneasy the whole experience. She was my best friend. She always said I needed A-line in everything (I'm pear shaped with a short torso). (Photos are pre-alteration).


I had two girlfriends with me who are so positive and way more up to date than I am on trends etc. When I put it on, my friends and the store stylist raved about how amazing it was. I felt confident and beautiful. I know my fiance would love the back especially Smiley winking I left feeling like I got a steal. I'm also on a budget. I bought this dress off the rack, and got 60% off. I have a friend that can do alterations affordably.


In true "me" fashion, I'm now second guessing the whole thing. My brain is fretting: Sale is final. It's too revealing. It's not right for my age. It's not what I had originally planned (modest, sleeves, mature). I have no business wearing something sexy. My mother wouldn't have approved. My back is exposed. Will I be able to dance? I've never worn anything form fitting before.... and on and on.


Now, my sons are more excited about the wedding and their roles in it than me sometimes. They have been so happy about me marrying their "bonus dad." Their dad and I had a strange, platonic, marriage and so they don't understand and aren't old enough to get that I want to be attractive for my new husband. I showed my ten year old and he said, "Mumma! Why do you want to be see through!!" and he looked uncomfortable. I asked my cute little jumping bean of a 7 year old, "do you like mommy's dress?" He smiled and said, "Nope!" and ran off to play some more. That's what has me the most worried.


I would love your honest opinions, because I'm clueless. I won't be hurt! But I'm pressed for time and I really need to be at ease. If that means shopping again, I should do it soon, and find a way to resell before it gets altered. Thanks!

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236 Comments

  • Emily
    Dedicated October 2021
    Emily ·
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    That dress is STUNNING on you! You look so beautiful and happy and confident! DO NOT take it back and get a new one!

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  • Katelyn
    Devoted October 2020
    Katelyn ·
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    You look amazing in your dress (as others have said)!! I would definitely not second guess your decision - rock that dress!

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  • K
    Beginner September 2020
    Kelcy ·
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    Girl from your story I thought I was about to see some incredibly revealing dress! Your dress is gorgeous on you and I don't think it's too showy at all! You look amazing and I hope you Feel it on your big day!
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  • Nicole
    Just Said Yes July 2021
    Nicole ·
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    You kidding right? THAT DRESS LOOKS AMAZIIIING ON YOU!!! It screams your name all over it, I love how it accents your waist and curves, it makes you look young and fresh. Love the details and lace. I have an hour glass body shape and mermaid style fits best on your and my type of body. You look decent and sophisticated, you are not showing that much. Best wishes for you and your fiancé
    • Reply
  • K
    Just Said Yes June 2020
    Kharma ·
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    You look beautiful!!
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  • Concetta
    Super March 2020
    Concetta ·
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    The dress is beautiful!! you look wonderful! keep this dress, you deserve a fairytale

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  • Bride
    December 2020
    Bride ·
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    K. You are stunning. That dress looks so good on you. Don’t second guess yourself. Wear what you want to on your wedding day! Wear what makes you comfortable! Smiley smile
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  • Whitney
    Just Said Yes September 2020
    Whitney ·
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    Beautiful. I love it.

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  • Katrina
    Just Said Yes November 2021
    Katrina ·
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    You look amazing in this dress !! 37 isn't old I have a friend who is older than you and dresses same way . It really compliments you and don't beat yourself up . Your boys are young and in that embarrassing stage of seeing mommy dressed out of the norm . Nothing with Wowing you husband to be that is the goal my dear!!!

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  • Chelsea
    Expert July 2021
    Chelsea ·
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    You look amazing!!! I love the back!

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  • Sharon
    Just Said Yes October 2021
    Sharon ·
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    I think it’s beautiful, but if you don’t I don’t think it’s the dress. My opinion you look stunning!
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  • Michelle
    Savvy May 2021
    Michelle ·
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    You have to take the things the kids say with a grain of salt. The dress is amazing and you look stunning in it! It does not look revealing at all. You will be a beautiful bride on your wedding day!
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  • Ruth
    Dedicated September 2021
    Ruth ·
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    You look stunning!! What a beautiful dress! Please stop second guessing your self... it looks phenomenal on you!
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  • Brittnee
    Savvy May 2021
    Brittnee ·
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    HOLY COW it looks amazing on you!!!! Second-guessing is normal; most brides do it. But the lace is so tasteful and the top is modest and yet you are still 100% women in that dress--your fiance will so appreciate that. Also 37 is sexy. At 37 you don't even qualify to be on the Real Housewives yet LOL! And look how much they flaunt! I say keep it; it's feminine, tasteful, and still a showstopper.



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  • Lauren
    Beginner September 2020
    Lauren ·
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    I love it... I’m looking for somewhat that kind of style .. just got engaged Christmas Eve so I’m figuring where I want to look
    Good luck you look beautiful
    • Reply
  • Rochellex7
    Savvy November 2021
    Rochellex7 ·
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    Looks beautiful on you. Take a breath it's your day not everyone else's. Deep down wouldn't your mother be happy as long as you were happy? I'm sure the store has a tailor ask about getting sleeves put on and if you want a Swarovski crystal liner to cover the chest area that dips. No matter what it's your day dont over think it.
    • Reply
  • Crystal
    Devoted October 2020
    Crystal ·
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    I’m 1-2 years younger than you’d and I’d wear that dress in a heart beat. It’s stunning and if I came across it on my travels I would have scooped it up instantly. It’s classic while being a little more “sexy” than daily wear.
    • Reply
  • W
    VIP September 2020
    Willow ·
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    You look much younger than your age, and that dress is not risque. The back is beautiful, I'd leave it as is. If you're not comfortable with the front, it's easy to close up that dip in the middle of the chest. You look amazing!
    • Reply
  • Aketha
    Beginner June 2022
    Aketha ·
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    You look a-maze-zing in that dress!!! The back of that dress is life!!!!
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  • Rachel
    Just Said Yes August 2020
    Rachel ·
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    Ummmmm you look fantastic! It’s perfect... just get some boobtape (yes that’s a website, works better than a bra and you can dance for hours.) and call it good. We have a lot of the same things going on and I can sympathize. ♥️
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