Is it selfish to not want someone to propose at your wedding?

I don't think it is selfish at all. I remember Ian telling his sister that if her (then) boyfriend proposed on our wedding day he would be p!ssed. Little did we know he'd asked her to marry him the November before our wedding and they were waiting till they got the ring to make it official.

After FH and I got engaged, he admitted that he was going to propose to me on December 4 until he remembered we had a wedding to go to. He changed plans etc. because he felt it was rude to take away from anyone elses big day, and I agree with him.

The fact it is being planned is rude as hell! There can only be ONE diva on your wedding day and that is YOU. People can't take time out to congratulate a newly engaged couple at your wedding---it is taking them away from fawning all over you in your glory. LOL!

I think it would be tacky to do and would never want to be proposed to like that. I also think it would upset me after the fact but on my actual wedding day I think I will be too caught up in the moment to care. But yah it would suck. I think most women know better... as for men knowing better... :-p

I don't think it's selfish at all. First of all, the toast is suppose to be congratulating the bride and groom. So for someone to announce their engagement during that time, to me, is very innapropriate. I too would of course be happy for the couple's engagement, but very irritated if they chose to make a huge announcement on my wedding day.

I am also in the minority here. The bottomline...I don't feel it would take anything away from our day. I feel it would only enhance the memory.

However, I do think it depends on a couple of factors...who it is, and if they asked us first.

We are patiently waiting for my daughter's bf to give her the Tacori(sp). They just made settlement on their house. They have furnished it,e tc. If my daughter's bf does it at my wedding, I would jump for joy.

Not selfish, it is your day and i think it's rude as all hell to take away someones thunder like that.

Hi Sarah, it's not selfish at all, it's your day girl!! And it's tacky as heck. If he's going to do something like propose at your wedding he should do it in private, like when everyone else is dancing, and respect your day. Even then it's going to take the light off you when she starts flashing around the ring. Dammit, I'd be downright mad if someone did that to me with all the planning, effort and expense that goes into it....(alright, calm down now Hayley, deep breathes it's not going to happen to you...no-ones going to ruin your day....that's better....) Sorry, momentary bridezilla moment :-)

Just a thought...A cool way of doing it would be to orchestrate it during the garter and bouquet toss. Throw the bouquet directly to person "A" and toss the garter to person "B", while the "B" person is getting down on one knee to do the embarrassing stuff, the proposal. I think that would be nice.

Could someone copy this and send it to my daughter's bf? lolol

Inappropriate to propose to someone at someone else's wedding!

PLUS there is no such thing as being selfish when it comes to your wedding. Just saying

Not selfish at all!!! We have kinda a funny related situation... my older sister has been dating her boyfriend the exact same amount of time as FH and I (we got together the same week...random I know) and they are due to get engaged. We told him if he wanted to propose the day after the wedding that would be awesome! They would have a romantic proposal story on a beach in Hawaii but it wouldn't take away from FH and I But note, we are NOT ok with him doing it on or before our wedding! lol

I was at a destination wedding two years ago and this exact same thing happened. One of the GM proposed to his long time girlfriend at the reception after dinner. He did bring her away from the croud onto the beach, but his girlfriend after everything had happened rushed into the party and told everyone about it. The bride was crushed of course. I would be super upset if this happened to me....so you are totally not out of line thinking this way. You are right, this is your day that you spent so much time planning for you and your FH....ALL the attention should be on the two of you. Mary <3 Mike is right....very tacky indeed!

That is the worst Idea I have ever heard to do at somebody elses wedding. Shame on your fh for thinking it is ok. If this were me I would nip this is the bud with out hesitation. You have no reason to feel bad. You should be sure to communicate with this guy before the wedding and tell him not to do it. Let him know how important you wedding is to you. If this happened to me I would not go to their wedding. Don't know why reading your post made me so mad. But some how it did. This is your day. Don't let them spoil it for you. During my wedding my fh's host mother went to my photographer and pulled her aside to do Senior portraits of her son (one of the grooms men). During this time was the cake cutting ceremony. I am actually hurt that we have no professional pictures of us cutting our cake. I would never hire this photographer again. And I can not believe my fh's host mother thought that was appropriate.

Put a special note on their invitations that no proposals are allowed to attend the wedding

If you get a chance to express to the gentlemen that you would prefer they wait until after the wedding, I'm sure they could understand. Proposing during a wedding toast? very innapropriate. And a non-family member proposing publicly at a wedding also very innapropriate. Not to mention, it's not very romantic or personal to the couples themselves so you might recommend ways or places they could do it that would be not only appropriate but enjoyable for the ladies in your family.

No way that would be messed up! Even FH said that would be flat out rude to come in and steal your glory on your day. I asked him what he would do or say, he said he would stop and say "What the heck are you doing, I hope she says no, now get out of here." lol I doubt he would really be that harsh but he gets it too it's just plain rude to try and take your thunder. Besides if she said no it would really put a damper on the mood and everyone would remember your wedding day for that moment.

It is selfish of him wanting to propose at your wedding. this is your day. To propose at someones wedding the day they dreamed about their entire life shows no class and a complete lack of respect.

I've tried my best to not be bridezilla, but if someone tried this, I'd def go bridezilla on them. assuming i knew before it happened...at the wedding it'd just make me look bad haha. but....afterwards. It's YOUR Day. not theirs. period.

Dang, I am really weird I guess.

NO WAY is it selfish. It is your day and the spotlight should be on you and your FH. I think its disrespectful for him to even think that. I think that your FH should sit and talk to him. If he wants to do it then since the whole family will be gathered together then maybe you guys can plan to have him do it at the breakfast brunch the next day.

@Carole B: I'm with you. If someone had proposed at our wedding, I would have made the assumption that they were inspired by our romance, or at a minimum that they wanted to include us in on their joy. Then again, we were the ones who welcomed the synagogue staff--none of whom we had ever met before--into our very intimate ceremony.

At the same time, I definitely believe that this is the sort of thing the one making the proposal should discuss with the couple first--and not proceed if they objected.