Is a Honeymoon fund really THAT BAD? Geez.

I'm on the side of, I wouldn't have one myself but I wouldn't rip up the wedding invite if another couple decided to have one. I just don't think they're THAT bad. Cash bars on the other hand....

I was married -- a formal wedding -- and I never had a single guest tell me that they thought my wedding gift requests were a good idea. Why? Because I didn't request a damn thing. I let my guests deal with gifts.

People lie to your face, whether you realize it or not...especially on your wedding day. The same people who allegedly tell cash bar brides that they have no problem paying for their own cocktails at a wedding they're paying to attend via travel, lodging, dress, and gift expenses, will smile and tell a Honeyfund bride that they're cool with specific gift request. I wish you could hear what they're saying in the lobby and the ladies' room. Because, I do hear. Get it? They'll call it a white lie, but they'll never tell you the truth...they'll just tell other people what they really think.

Seriously....

There are also people who think any registry is tacky. Last night my mom reminded me that when she got married word just got spread what colors you would like and you kind of got what you got and she got 6 different color dishes and towels and had to return them to get matching sets and when formal registries as we know them started everyone was up in arms, how rude, how can you tell people what to buy you. Things change, slowly.

I'm not having one but I wouldn't RSVP no to someone's wedding out of spite if someone else wants to have one. I do think it's ridiculous to suggest that having a honey fund somehow elevates you above everyone else because you prefer "experiences" over material things. Whatever the fuck that means. I prefer experiences too. I prefer the experience of going on trips I can afford and the experience of falling asleep wrapped up in new silk sheets from my registry. And Jessica B, if you're making a registry that helps you pay for your "experiences" than you're just as materialistic as the rest of us with our matching plates.

Yes, it is tacky to specifically ask for money. If someone wants to give cash, they will.

I personally think it's your wedding, so do what you want to!

When I first heard about them I thought you could directly buy the tours, etc for the couple. Rather they are only sent a check and a small percentage is taken out. (Shout out to WW) That's slightly misleading as a gifter. If I had known that I would have just sent them cash and said have a tour on me. Cut out the fee. I'd prefer if they could buy the tour from the vendor directly and I get the gift directly. I have gifted tours before and loved it.

Everyone on here says it's awful. However, I registered both gifts and for my honeymoon and so many of my guests LOVED the idea of a honeymoon fund. Through sandals, they were able to pick out "candle light dinners" of "horseback riding on the beach." Many people complimented how great of an idea it was and how easy it was (rather then going to a store).

People can love the idea of a honeymoon fund as much as they want. A portion of their money isn't even going to you.

As a guest, when I saw a honeymoon fund I thought that was cute because I'm going to spend what I'm going to spend whether it's towards your honeymoon or a blender.

However, the reason now why I'm against them is the fee they charge.

Yes it is very rude and very tacky don't do this

I'm not doing it. But if someone has one that's their choice! I'm still bringing a card with cash.

My cousin had a Zola registry and it didn't bother me. My brother bought him some physical gifts off there; my parents contributed to his honeymoon fund on there; DH and I wrote a check and a card and said to use it toward the honeymoon. I knew Zola took a cut so I chose to write a check instead. My mom said she thought using the fund was cute and didn't care. Live and let live, people.

"Because they love us" ... yes because love = $$$

Why not just charge your guests a cover charge to attend the reception? That way it's not on your dime. Crappy attitude in my opinion. You have the reception to thank your guests.

FFS people. Asking for money is rude. PERIOD. Make a small registry or no registry if you want cash but DO NOT ask for money. It is not cute it is disrespectful to your guests. If you have a honeyfund then delete that shit before you embarrass yourself and your family. Of course they are not going to tell you it's a shit idea to your face. They are polite people (unlike yourself) and don't want to ruin your day.

Just following to see the explosion

Felt like stirring up a little shit this morning, eh?

I didn't read the comments because they are always the same and and if you read more than one thread here you'd have everything you need.

The justifications are always the same, kinda like dry weddings and cash bars. Ironice, eh? It's all a matter of cheapness in some form.

-we have lived together for x years and we have everything we need. No, you don't. I've been living on my own probably longer than both of you put together and even I need stuff.

-We're saving for a new home. So am I. Welcome to the club. I'd prefer to save for my own thank you.

-We deserve a vacation. So do I. See above.

-We're spending 20,000 for our 'friends' to celebrate on our dime. Well, it's not your dime; it's your parents. And if that's the way you feel about your friends, then don't invite them. It shows a serious lack of respect.

-It's so easy! No it's not. It's way easier to give you money. People do it all the time.

-We don't want random crap. If anyone gives you a gift as all, pretend to be grateful. And for the record? I have never seen more than a few boxed gifts at any given wedding. It's all checks and cash. Registries are for showers.

-We'll get excursions! No, you get a check with a percentage taken out. Because so many people hate this concept you may get enough bucks for two drinks at the bar. And it may be your neghborhood bar.

- You don't get the check before you need to pay for the honeymoon.

-Almost everyone who isn't 25 thinks this is a rude, shitty idea. Why don't you register for your student loan?

Asking for money is always crass. Even asking your parents for money for your so well deserved wedding. People don't need to be asked for money; they know how to give it to you.

And the reason you see this concept more and more is that it makes money; for WW for HF, for Zola. There is no mystery that no concept invented for weddings is invented because it enhances your experience. It was invented to make money.

But the bottom line is that anyone who has talked themselves into thinking this is a good idea will do it. No matter how many times it's discussed.

AS for me? If I got your request for money to go on vacation? You'd get the biggest, light up Donald Trump lawn gnome I can find.

Personally I don't think its a big deal and have had friends with honeyfunds that I didn't twice about. However, I didn't give money through the site because I saw it took a cut so I'd rather just give them money.