Is a Honeymoon fund really THAT BAD? Geez.

The tacky part is 90% of wedding guests give cash anyway. No need to ask for it. You'll get it - especially with a small registry.

Oh geez, I agree. It's not tacky at all. Even Martha Stewart endorses it, so I think you're fine!

I was at a wedding recently and all the guests--young and old--were saying how much they loved the idea of gifting 'experiences' instead of stuff. The couple had put specific activities on their list (e.g. snorkeling in Hawaii, kayaking tour, 3 nights at a beach resort etc.) and I think that helped.

Why is a post from April being revived? 😐

So my bff went to Disney World for her honeymoon, I bought her Disney gift cards so she could use them on her honeymoon as a wedding gift. I have no problem contributing to anyone's honeymoon! I do think taking a percentage of the gift is annoying but it doesn't really bother me either. I think, hey, do something special you normally wouldn't because you have a little extra money, on me.

I do most of my shopping on line, as do many of the people I know. Are you all saying you would rather give the wedding couple some stuff they don't need, or nothing at all, than contribute online to their honeymoon? You pay a fee every time you use a credit card, even if you don't pay it directly. Why the double standard?

Oops, now I'm responding to hopefully not be notified about new comments...

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Not always the case. We have an excursion registry from Sandals for our honeymoon, and once it's been bought, you book directly through the resort, rather than that amount of money going into our bank or being sent as a check.

I have seen a lot of negative things about it. My mom hates when someone only has a honeymoon fund and no registry, but I haven't heard her complain when they have both (because then she has the option). I'm having one because it's what WE want to have and to pay for what WE want to use the money for. I'm not asking people for anything, including gifts in the first place. I would be ok for them to come, spend the day and night with us having a blast, and not give me a dime more (it's not cheap to attend weddings, let's be real!). You're supposed to put what you want on a registry, right? Well if it's what you want, go for it! I set mine up through theknot. I don't think they will take a percentage, but now I'm going to go check!

I guess it depends on your background. My mother was first to suggest a Honeyfund, and is still suggesting it, but traditionally, giving the bride and groom money IS what you give them in our family and culture. Gifts like pots, dishes, and linens are part of your darro that you take with you to your new married life, and what your parents and grandparents should have already set aside for you to start you new life as a wife. Money is practical and always useful. You don't ask for it, it's just customary and sort of expected. I wouldn't use a honeyfund website only because of the fees they take out and such, but if there were a totally free one, I'd be more likely to consider it, just for the convenience.

If you have a very small registry or no registry then people will often gift cash. I personally won't ask for cash but that's just me.

Unpopular opinion, but I am in the same boat as you. My FH and I just bought a house together in October, and since then, we have received countless gifts. Traditionally, wedding gifts have typically consisted of home goods, but this is the 21st century, and many people are now living together months, even years before marrying one another. It's YOUR wedding. If you prefer cash as a gift, than by all means, go for it! Personally we're going to have a "Honeymoon Funds" jar at our wedding... It's a little less pushy but still gets the point across.

Here’s a secret. Use your wedding money for anything you want to. The key is just don’t tell anyone what you’re using it for.

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I agree with this.

I'm also not a fan of donating to charity through second-party organizations. If I want to give to a charity, I'll give it directly to them. I feel the same about wedding gifts. If I want to give to a couple, I'll give it directly to them, not to a website.

You don't need a honeyfund for people to give you money. They'll give you money when you have a small registry or don't have one at all, and they won't lose a service fee that the website will take in the process. Everybody wins.

Having an opinion doesn't make you judgmental. It's perfectly fair to not be comfortable giving your hard-earned money in a certain way.

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This exactly ^^

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That's not what we're saying at all. I usually gift money anyways. The alternative is not to gift household items. It's to gift out of your own kindness rather than being asked for it. I want to write a check, not go through a random website that takes fees. Not sure what credit card you use, but that isn't the case for mine.

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This is a great point, lol. Hence the reason I'm not having a registry at all.

I want to do one SO bad. But everyone on here so far says absolutely not. I’ve read articles and articles about the subject. Just found this one and thought I’d share: “ An emerging trend that’s tempting many millennial brides and grooms is the idea of a honeymoon fund, either through companies catered solely to this purpose, like Honeyfund, or via donation on their nuptial website. Requesting donations to help pay for the many expenses of a honeymoon—travel, accommodations, excursions—is a practical thought, but is the approach, well, tacky?

According to top wedding planners, no.

Really, it’s an updated twist on an older concept.”

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.vogue.com/article/honeyfund-wedding-registry-etiquette/amp

Bottom line. It’s our weddings and we should be able to do what ever we want. I’m doing it.

-K

View Quoted Comment You know what makes ZERO sense? Asking for only gifts you can't afford yourself. If I did that I would have to ask for a brand new Ferrari on my registry as every gift I've been given since I was 19 I was able to afford on my own.

I've been grateful for every gift I've ever been given regardless of the cost. I'm sure there were gifts you registered for that you could afford yourself, yet you still asked other people to buy them for you.

Maybe you don't understand that wedding gifts have nothing to with what you can or cannot afford and people shouldn't be giving you gifts out of charity.