Is a Honeymoon fund really THAT BAD? Geez.

Look into fees the Honeymoon Registries take out. If you guys are looking to be gifted in cash, dont do a registry that way your guests wont waste their time in looking to purchase things you dont need. Good Luck!!

So idk if your registry has it but we are using amazon and they have tons of gift cards and i have simple cards like burger king and amc theatres because my thoughts send us on a date over buying more pots and pans we dont need you know.

@Tiffany still rude. If you don't need pots and pans don't register for them. Then you won't get any. Why is this such a difficult concept to understand? Have a small registry and people will get the hint.

Burger King? Really? ..............................

@Tiffany, it is not rude. Don't let people judge you. I would get you the gift card and so that you could have a relaxing a movie dinner date night after the stressful, huge expense of a wedding.

Do I have a problem with them? No. Do I think they are rude? No. Am I having one? No. What I do have a problem is websites taking a portion of the monetary gift that someone has given you.

I personally think there's nothing wrong with the concept of Honeyfunds even though we aren't doing one. I don't like that the company takes a percentage from the gift, but overall I think they're much more practical than registering for a ton of crap that is obviously a ton of crap. So many couples live together (or at least have their own places) before getting married, so the basics have usually been covered twice over. My FH friends literally had a PS4 controller on their registry and at least four different parties where gifts were expected. They each had their own fully furnished places that they'd been living in for years (not openly together for her religious family). To me, it's way tackier to make your registry/ies into an obvious gift grab.

Holy shit...I don't know how people actually think this is still a good idea,

FFS... it is TACKY.. it takes A PERCENTAGE OF THE MONEY... it does NOT PAY FOR ANY EXPERIENCES.

The site gives the bride/groom a cheque that they could spend on anything from a massage, to their mortgage, to clothes.. what part of that do some people not get. Like how naive or clueless does someone need to be to actually think "OMG I love it because we bought the couple a romantic sunset dinner!!!" NO YOU DID NOT.

To all the people saying "my guests said what an amazing idea it was" really? your friends and family during the duration of your wedding between the vows drinking and dancing came up to you and the few minutes they spent with you they told you that your cash panhandling was a good idea? Don't believe that for a second.

I have been to over 30 weddings and not a single one mentioned anything about gifts, honeymoons or registries and guess what 99% of the guests gave cash because people are not idiots and they understand that in this day and age that is what people prefer.

Oh to the chick calling everyone with a registry materialistic?... Honey asking people for cash for "experiences" you can't afford yourself makes you more materialistic and tacky then anyone with a registry.

Edit: spelling

I'm in the camp of no, they're not THAT bad. I actually think the idea behind them is genius and better than any regular registry when you're one of those people who don't need upgrades/things.

What I DON'T like about them is the fact they take a portion of your money. This is why I would never have one in a million years. I want 100% of that gift and don't want a cent of my guests' hard earned, thoughtful gift going to someone other than us.

For that, I think people should look into alternatives like a small registry.

I personally didn't take offense to your post whatsoever. Don't understand why certain people took it personally like if their parents are unable to contribute, they don't love them. lol, also I wouldn't think it's weird to do a honeyfund, if you have a registry asking for certain specific gifts already (that you're "not entitled to") why is it suddenly offensive when it comes to a honeymoon? I know plenty of people who think it would be way cooler to give you an awesome memory over a blender. you know your guests, it's your wedding, do what you want

I was hoping that this thread would've been done with.

I think part of the tremendous response to this post, beyond the fact that honeyfunds are crude and tacky, lies in this sentence by the OP;

"We can afford a honeymoon, but after spending $20,000 on throwing a giant party for family and friends to eat and drink on our dime, a little help would be nice. "

You chose to spend your parents' money that way; no one but you. That attitude doesn't guilt anyone into giving you money. You think you're entitled to a cash payment from your friends because you threw a great party.

Guess what?

You're not.

They are in wedding magazine etc because it is a marketing scheme. They make money off they never should have made of your honeymoon

I've had a lot of friends ask for money for a honeymoon fund. I don't see a problem with it, but then again, I'm a pretty laid back, non-judgemental person who doesn't get offended by things like that. When I go to weddings, I'm not there for myself, I'm there for the couple, and if they need help to have an awesome honeymoon and that would be the best gift for them, I'm all for it. It's also nice because people can give what they can afford, rather than trying to pick the least expensive item on the registry if they don't have a lot of money.

I would avoid the websites that have a fee associated with them, though, and just have people give cash or a check to you at the wedding.

To everyone saying they have no problem giving a couple an "experience" rather than a random gift they won't use....PUT IT INSIDE A CARD AND GIVE IT TO THEM. Why is this so hard to understand? Do the same thing people have done for years and years, before honeyfunds were even a thing and before the internet was even a thing.

There is nothing wrong with giving (or receiving) monetary gifts. Can I repeat that? THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH GIVING OR RECEIVING MONETARY GIFTS.

There is A LOT wrong with the bride/groom specifically requesting money and nothing else.

There is A LOT wrong with these websites taking a percentage of your generous gift to the newlyweds.

Don't have a registry, your guests will get the hint and give you cash inside of a card. Like normal people.

We originally were not going to do a registry at all (we have been living together for 4 years and have had our 1st house since August). We didn't think we needed anything.

But we were talking about it recently and we don't want people to feel like that have to give us cash. Not everyone has lots of money and people may be embarrassed to give you $25-50 bucks for a wedding gift. Which they shouldn't be b/c its a gift! But by having a registry with small and larger priced items gives people options. They can gift within their means.

We actually have started really liking the idea of updating a lot of stuff we have had for a few years or stuff we would never want to spend money on but would like to have. Definitely make at least a small registry. Like other posters have said - if people want to give you money they will. Your registry will not change that.

@Elphaba, don't take my comment personally. I didn't tag you, therefore it is not about you. I never said you weren't a generous person nor implied otherwise. And your laundry list of generous acts is great -- but if you don't need anyone to know about it, why did you feel the need to post it? I could post a list of reasons why I'm not selfish, rude, or any of the other character flaws you seem so ready to heap on me, but I won't because I'm not invested in explaining my character to you. Stop looking for insults when there are none. You're reading into that rabbit hole on your own. So we have a difference of opinion? I get it. You've said so clearly about 5 times. That doesn't make you ungenerous, so don't put words in my mouth (or hands, if you're so literal).

As far as witch hunts, REALLY? Are you enjoying arguing on this forum or something? Clearly I was speaking in hyperbole -- in no way am I comparing this to the real witch hunts of history, it was a metaphor. But you clearly know this, and don't care. You want your pound of flesh from me no matter what I post, or otherwise you wouldn't decide to dive into THAT after the damn near essay I wrote.

What I will say is thanks for the heads up on CG, I've edited my post.

@HorseGirl, we also have a small registry of household items as well.

"Giving money is the easiest thing in the worldddddddddddd" - everyone

Except I don't really keep checks or write them often anymore. I only have a few checks available and don't want to order more. I also have heard of issues in the past where a recently married couple ran into issues cashing checks that were made out to assumed new married names or the couple together before they merged their bank accounts. I also don't like to have checks outstanding on my account that I don't know when the couple will cash.

I also don't really want to throw $200+ dollars in an envelope. I'm worried it could get stolen or misplaced. I also don't really feel like going to the bank. And hey, everything has a fee, right? I have to drive to the bank, which takes gas. It's also funny how whenever anyone mentions a cash bar (which I happen to agree are totally tacky) everyone responds with some variation of "who even carries cash", but when it's a honeyfund post suddenly cash is king.

I don't know, gotta say it feels easier to pay a nominal fee and put it on my credit card. If I were to give cash or a check I'd be paying $3-4 for a card. A lot of people also get those visa and amex gift cards nowadays to give cash (because, as I mentioned, many people find it very convenient and prefer to use their CC in transactions), which as you may realize charges a 6-7% fee. So basically, yeah, you pay a fee for a service that many people find convenient.

To be honest, the only compelling argument I've ever read against honeyfunds is that some people find them distasteful. Besides that, I just can't get behind the outrage.

I can't believe this is still here! Wow, gimme some popcorn for this!

I was thinking about having this to at my wedding we are having a big wedding but we are making all of our decorations but I am in school and my fiancé is blind and my dad and his partner are paying for our honeymoon but we where going to do a honeymoon fund to have money to spend on our honeymoon but I don't know how people will feel about it either