If you want to have a cash bar..

Those who are pro cash bar are going to do them (or did them) no matter what anyone says. That's fine, none of us are attending (or attended) your weddings. What I don't understand is your insistence on continuing to argue the point expecting the majority of the posters on this forum to suddenly go, "Oh, you're right. That's a great reason to have a cash bar." It's NOT going to happen. We have heard all the reasons. We think they are terrible reasons. I would not invite family and close friends to my home for dinner and ask them to pay me for the bottles of wine I purchased and I certainly won't do it at my wedding! Have your cash bar, but stop trying to convince us it is an ok thing to do. It is not.

Laura: wrong. Bullying or being verbally abusive would be calling YOU names, not stating, truthfully, that you were a poor host, cheap, and pointing out that what you did is socially unacceptable.

Yes, what YOU feel is properly hosting is different, however, hosting in a socially acceptable way is not the same as hosting in the way YOU find acceptable. As you can see here, socially acceptable hosting includes hosting alcohol of some sort, even if that means beer and wine. Again, your defensiveness tells volumes of your insecurity in the decision that you made, which you now cannot change.

Additionally, calling others verbally abusive and bullying indicates you have NO IDEA what those things are. Take it from me, someone who has spent the great majority of her life being abused in some way, shape, or form, particularly verbally, nothing that has been said here has been verbally abusive. In fact, the closest ANYONE has gotten is you, when you called everyone childish.

Please put some thought in before you post. I can't help that you made a poor decision, not my fault. You are the one who lives on as the subject of talk by your family and friends for the next 30 years.

Annnnd before you start the whole alcoholic bit, or about how nobody you know cared or drinks, etc. DF nor I drink. We went on vacation at an all inclusive resort. We had a few drinks while there, in SOCIAL situations. Weddings are much the same. Someone that never drinks may drink at a wedding, because they only drink socially. Hence the reason proper hosting includes alcohol.

Ladies, ladies, ladies ---- PAY FOR YOUR GUESTS DRINKS! Don't be a cheapskate and then whine when people bad mouth your wedding because it will happen.

I went to my cousins wedding where it was a buffet meal and it took an hour to get our food and then it was a cash bar, do you know how pissed off I was? Waiting a long time for food and then having it thrown in my face that I now had to pay for my drinks when I NEVER carry cash? Yeah, it's nice to go and celebrate how special a wedding is, its all about the groom and bride but seriously if you're going to make us sit there through boring speeches and everything.... at least make it slightly numbing

Centerpiece at it again , always on point (:

Ahhhhh my nightly entertainment

I love you all and your childish selves

(except for some of you, but I can't name them because I'll get suspended. Hint: their avatar is the rings - of course.)

Bottom line Jessica YOU CAN'T AFFORD THE WEDDING that you are currently planning. Plain and simple.

There was another bride on here last week or so that said she went to either a cash bar or beer/wine only wedding and a few guests went out to the parking lot because someone stashed a bottle of Southern Comfort on their person. So your so-called alcoholics will find a way to drink.

Trust and believe that your guests will side eye the hell out of you for all eternity for having a photobooth and favors (both are which are unnecessary) instead of alcohol.

My budget is about the average for the U.S. and we're skipping a limo, favors and a photobooth so our guests can stuff their faces all night and drink from an open bar all night.

Are you missing the point of guests having to travel, get babysitters, possibly buy a new outfit, bring you a gift (they probably aren't tacky) and then they realize they have to pay for a drink?

FOH!

Laura's mad because no one wants to come to any of her future events because of her poorly hosted wedding lol.

You didn't have the money??? Then you shouldn't have had the type of wedding you planned!!! You could have had 10 people, or waited until you had the money.

A photo booth but a cash bar?! TACKY!

Also LOL at the comment "I guess I was raised differently than you all."

Sounds like a personal attack to me, hmm???

All I can tell you is that yes, I too, was raised in a conservative family and that many of my guests attend church (who tf even mentions that btw?!) and we will all be boozin it up! (on my dime thank you very much)

To jump off GymRat's point. My budget is far lower than the average, only $8K. I am still providing beer & wine. My guest list is 72 people. Would I have limed to invite all cousins, friends, co-workers, etc. Sure, but I couldn't afford that, so I made the hard decisions and didn't send invitations to everyone I've ever met. Sure some of those left off would have attended, but we are having the wedding we can actually afford.

Dump the photobooth and buy drinks for your guests!

Exactly Kimi, CUT YOUR GUEST LIST AND HOST YOUR GUESTS PROPERLY!!!

....well guess everyone will hate our wedding (no booze per venue because I didn't want to pay the extra) if it's this much tradition to have drinks...

Oh well, more brisket for me

I don't see why it's so bad. Mean warn the people but really? Saying it's tacky to not buy everyone booze is a bit extreme

Lauren: it's not tacky. It's rude. Period.

@Lauren did you read any of it? Or just take the general consensus because if you can't see why it's so bad I can't help you.

I can see that a bunch a people think it's rude and that weddings must include drinks no if ands or buts.

But I also don't see the necessity of it and guess what, nobody in my family had an bar at their wedding and we didn't care.

FH family had a cooler of beer hidden at the last one. Rarely even touched.

So instead of the extra money for that I got better food.

Now for something I do consider rude. Telling people they can't afford to get married it rude as h e double l.

.

No one said you couldn't afford to get married. They said you couldn't afford the wedding you are planning. Entirely two different things.

Lauren. We get it. But listen, no one is going to agree with you.

Obviously, we all think you are the one who is rude as h e double l.

I suggest you just take the advice that was given to you, and take some time over the next year to think about it before your wedding.

I said it once and I'll say it again, I will never understand the mentality behind: "I can do whatever I want, treat my loved ones like shit and they should just be honored I'm inviting them." "Hey, I really want you to come, but a small wedding is all we can afford." Sure. But not "You'll take what I feel like giving you. I just want as many eyes on me as possible."

Yikes people get so so so worked up over cash bars! I've been to both and honestly don't bitch, laugh, or complain about those that have had cash bars. I will never get what the big deal is. We are all adults and can have fun!