If you want to have a cash bar..

But I already bought my super cute sign! (Sarcasm implied )

So...just to prove to all the people who say this is okay....

Would you ever tell your friend that her cash bar was rude?

That's horrible!! At least a mention of it in advance would have helped you decide whether to go or to at least have some cash on hand!!!

Cash bars are NOT okay! And this weekend was sooo hot, feel so bad for you sitting through that without even the thank you of an open bar!

Not for nothing, I gave up my family BBQ (where there was sangria and beer), I paid for a hotel, got a great gift for the shower, a great gift for the wedding, and you can't buy me more than a 7 dollar Malibu bay breeze? Nope. I was livid. I understand some people "don't need alcohol to have fun" and that's totally fine but, do you know what me and everyone else was saying the entire night? "So they can ask for gifts but can buy us some wine with dinner? Cool." We also all were very polite, stayed for dinner and kicked it before dessert to go enjoy the rest of our holiday weekend that we paid to be there for and, to enjoy a cold drink and a warm sundae on the Jersey shore.

Uh oh I didn't think of that. I live in FL and all of my family and FH's family live up north so everyone has to travel. Going to be a small wedding though, just about 50 people. I don't think a lot of the guests will drink. I was going to do a $300 limit then after everyone reaches $300 they'll have to start paying for drinks. If I did open bar the whole time it would be $25/person but I know a lot of people don't drink. But like you said after having to pay to travel and sit outside etc you don't want to have to buy a drink. Thank you for sharing, I never thought of it like that. Maybe people won't even have money on them either

ETA: $25 per person per hour (4 hours)

While I don't mind buying my own drinks, I obviously would love to have my drinks covered for the night. One of the most fun weddings I've been to was at a country club in a dry county. They had a private bar in the building, and I just opens a tab. Me and FH bought about $40 worth of drinks and it was still a good time.

Would it have been more awesome had our drinks been provided? Of course. But like I said, it doesn't bother me to buy my own either. But that's just me.

Right. So you and the other guests snickered about this. Because the feedback we always get is that none of the guests minded

@Janeen- no, no one ever says anything to the couple. But believe me- they all talk behind their backs about it and question social invites going forward!

Like- oh, they invited us to a dinner at their home next weekend, better bring enough wine for everyone!!!

@Christinaz86- $25/person/hour??? That crazy expensive- where are you getting married?

@Janeen our phrasing has been "Oh, it was beautiful"

@Christinaz you don't even need a completely open bar! Ditch the $300 limit and do a wine and beer it always ends up cheaper. Don't go broke doing it but definitely take it all into consideration.

Celia is the one who set me straight on this, as we originally were going to have a cash bar. For reasons that we thought we perfectly valid.

I decided I wanted to host an event that I would want to be a guest at. Since 90% of our guests have to travel to attend, they are already shelling out some money. Enjoy some wine and beer on us!

eta: typo

Getting married in Naples, FL that's for the call liquor like beefeaters, bacardi, and Smirnoff etc plus beer, wine, and soft drinks. Just pulled out the paper to check and it says $25 per person per hour then after that it's $15 per person per hour

If many of your guests don't drink, you could pay on consumption and that would probably be cheaper, which basically means you pay the tab. (you could also just leave a card with the bartender and tell him not to charge anyone.)

@Christinaz86- maybe do as others suggested with a beer and wine host with a couple signature drinks/ or move to middle shelf? I'm in Boston suburb and that is almost double!

Oh that's true @chrises I didn't think of that either. The lady at the resort just suggested doing like a $300 limit or $500 limit then having the guests pay after that

We are no longer allowed to say that cash bars are tacky...so I won't.

What I will say is that the OP expressed, in plain English, how she felt when she attended a lovely wedding with the dangling carrot of an open bar at cocktail hour, and as the evening progressed, learned that everything after cocktail hour was for sale. Is "gross" forbidden? Is "you've got to be kidding me?" forbidden? Is saying "We sat in three hours of Jersey traffic, when Jersey was baking at 90 degrees (it was hideously hot this weekend), on a holiday weekend, with a fat envelope in her purse or his jacket pocket, forbidden?

Cash bar brides...do you get it? Her jaw dropped because she couldn't believe she sat in a car, for three hours fighting holiday traffic, during an early heatwave, only to arrive at your overheated, but "lovely" wedding, and then to be offered the opportunity to open a tab for alcohol at your reception. Don't you get it? Seriously, don't you get it? Whether literally or figuratively, her jaw dropped, and that's on you. Geez...host your guests properly and stop whining about how expensive it is to host all of these people "expecting" booze. If you can't do that, then follow logic -- cut your guest list (and your gift haul) so that you host your guests well enough that their jaws stay in place, okay? Flag away.

Weddings are like babies...everyone will tell you it is the most beautiful ever...to your face...

That's a good idea though I could just do like a $500 bar and if it exceeds that I can give the bartender my card. I just didn't want to have to pay for 50 people to drink for five hours if only say only 15 people drink

Christinaz: that's still high. For us to have a full open bar with premium liqueurs, beers, wines, and sparkling wines is like $32/pp the first hour, then $5 or $6/pp every half hour following. And those are Disney World prices!!!

I got an invite in the mail for a wedding in late July. The couple has a website set up and they were very clear about the cash bar. I appreciate the communication about it but it still feels not right. Oh well, not my day!