If you want to have a cash bar..

@jessica no it's not a blessing to watch you and your cheap fiancée say I do and give you an expensive gift. You must think really highly of yourself. I didn't plan my wedding thinking people were "blessed" to attend and be in awe of me.

I was BLESSED to have THEM ATTEND! I wanted to treat them to a fun and wonderful night as a thank you for their support. That included a nice meal, cake and drinks.

Anyway, for DH and I, we appreciated every single person who took the time out of their Saturdays to come to our wedding (many of them traveling from out of state). EVERYONE spent money to attend our wedding and we were grateful they wanted to share it with us.

The least we could do was provide them with a freaking glass of wine on us.

Guests having to open their wallets for anything at a wedding is almost always gross.

I don't think that makes me cheap. I wouldn't care one bit to buy my friends a drink. However, my family would be extremely offended by it just like I said previously. I come from a very traditional, conservative family. I respect them enough to leave it out of my wedding. About six people on my invite list drink alcohol and they already know it will be a dry wedding and are 100% okay with it.

It doesn't make you cheap at all Mrscarter. I respect you for this decision.

And in no way did I EVER imply that I didn't feel blessed to have each and every person attend. That was a gross thing to say. Really. Also I already stated that I don't require a gift. You must have missed that part.

Sigh, you can lead a horse to water.

"Snob" is not the word I would think of in reference to someone who wants to properly host their guests. "Considerate?" Yes. "Thoughtful?" Sure.

I also don't consider an invite to my wedding a "blessing." If there was going to be alcohol, I wouldn't have a cash bar. I went to a wedding with one and just didn't get anything. I suppose I was raised differently than most people on this site and I was just pointing out that there were other options that were acceptable in certain situations. I don't believe I am any better of a person than the rest of you all, and I respect each of your opinions.

What I meant by that was when I RECEIVE a wedding invite I consider it a blessing. I don't read it and go 'there better be an open bar or else'

We are having a capped bar with the option to add during in the event. We have to pay all know expenses before our final count (then we give them the final count and the money will be held untill after the wedding to insure no further expenses like adding hours or money toward the bar.), so if its early in the evening and we have extra money because less people show up (we anticipate that only half of our guest list will be able to make it but are budgeting like everyone will) we will add to the cap. Our cap is reasonable for the type of guest we have.

Because most of our guest will be traveling I would consider it very rude to make them pay more money after taking the time out of work, plane or gas, hotel, food expeses. I consider my guests a blessing not the other way around.

Edit: It will be beer and wine with a sign that states that at the bar.

The literal point of a wedding is to celebrate the bride and groom. I don't understand how this makes me self centered.

The "alcoholics" excuse is also worn out considering bartenders are trained to know when to cut people off.

You're right, the wedding is to celebrate the couple. The reception is to thank the guests for coming. Edit for clarity: the reception is all about your guests.

That is bullshit!!!

I'm going to repeat myself, Jessica. Spending money on favors and a photo booth is quite silly if you cannot afford an open bar. That is twisted and I would side eye you all day long. Your guests will too.

I'm loving my cache of Kermit memes now.

The ceremony is to celebrate the bride and groom. The reception is a thank you to the guests from the bride and groom. The only appropriate way to thank your guests is to properly host them. Stop being cheap and rude.

I'd pass on favors and the photobooth for a good glass of wine. If I want a strip of photos of DH and I, we can visit our friendly neighborhood mall kiosk. Although, if there is a photobooth AND wine, it might get weird. (Kidding)

Since you have been to 4 weddings without open bar, it's clear that your entire social circle finds the cash bar acceptable. That doesn't mean that it actually is an acceptable way to host guests. Bottom line, it's cheap. Just know there is a great big world out there and more people know the way to properly host. The PP's on here have given input and OP nailed it with the guest experience most people have at a cash bar. Take notes.

Right on, Angela.

The ceremony is about the bride and groom. The reception is about the guests and making sure they have a good time.

I agree Gryffin, I should have clarified! In my situation, well over half of our wedding guests will be member's of my church. Almost all of them do not condone drinking in any way, which I disagree with, but I will not change their minds. My guests would leave if I DID have alcohol, not the other way around. Like I said I don't agree with their ideology but these people have been with me and FH our entire lives (we're from the same place). I'm being considerate of their feelings by not having it at my reception.