If you want to have a cash bar..

Jessica, Then don't expect anyone to spend money on a gift, spend money on gas to get there, or spend money on formal or bridal party attire. If someone is attending your wedding, they shouldn't have to pay for anything once they are there. This is preeettttty basic stuff.

I'm not going to throw my daughter a birthday party, then charge her friends for each slice of pizza.

ETA: Also I'm pretty confused as to how you think charging for drinks is going to stop an alcoholic from getting drunk? What do you think is going to happen? "Oh I have a life-threatening addiction, but GASP! They got me! My arch nemesis! Four dollars!"

IMO a dry wedding is better than a cash bar, if cost is the issue. Just like you have a cake and punch reception is better than a potluck reception, if you can't afford to properly host your guests for dinner.

Yes of course they will buy it. But I don't have to provide It like I think it's okay.

And I agree, dry weddings are just silly. But to each their own

@Jessica I'll say it a million times over, I don't care about favors, I'd travel whether my room was reduced or not .. I also don't want more favors. What I do expect is a properly hosted meal. That's my only expectation of the night. I don't need any of the other stuff. I don't think I'm asking a lot, do you?

Jessica, I'm guessing you missed the point of this thread. It was an experience from a guest at a cash bar wedding, and it was not a good one.

@annakay It was at a pretty expensive venue and the corners were clearly cut when it came to hosting their guests. There were over 100 guests and for cocktail hour there was trail mix on the table. Just saying if I had to pick from the 2 terrible choices cash bar would win.

@cristinaz, my open bar ended up being $2700 and was by consumption. That was from 5-midnight. To save money we got 2 kegs of our favorite beer and family's fave beer and that was cheaper than by the bottle. But then we had wine and liquor by the glass.

You can eliminate people expecting free dinner, free drinks, a favor (which almost no one takes) and discounted hotel rooms (which in most cases don't cost you anything) by not inviting a soul. I can celebrate you and your FH once you announce it on Facebook.

Oh Jessica honey, I worked in bars for 15 years, a cash bar is not going to prevent drunks. It is going to have people talking about your wedding for years to come. My mother went to a family member's wedding 30 years ago and still brings up how tacky-assed the cash bar was. 30 years, seriously, and she's not the only family member to bring it up.

Also, you are HOSTING people, be a good HOST, pay for your guests drinks.

@Jessica, as a wedding guest, I would much rather have my drinks paid for by my HOSTS than be able to pop into a photo booth for 5 minutes or take home a little favor that will likely go into the garbage.

Also, if people have problems with alcohol, a cash bar will not stop them from over-indulging. I speak from personal experience as I also have family members who have problems with alcohol. I'm choosing to not punish the rest of my guests over the concern for a few.

@jessica yes, I'm attending to witness their happiness. Often times I get on a plane or drive ($300-500) and then get a hotel for $150-200 a night and may take off work costing me time and money. I often paint my nails and do my hair so I look nice. I also bring a gift.

I guarantee I spend more than a $15-30 dinner plus the $25 in drinks I would drink.

The venue isn't for me.

It's what the bride and groom want.

The dress isn't for me.

It's what the bride wants.

The decor isn't for me. It's what the bride and groom want.

The rings aren't for me. It's what the bride and groom want.

Sure you spend $10-$20k but that's not all for the guests! It's for details you as bride and groom want. Depending on the location I may cost $50-200 as a guest.

Im sure I spend more than that traveling to your wedding.

So no, Jessica, I don't think it's too much to ask for a dinner and drinks.

.

Out of all 200 people invited to my wedding, I can count on two hands the number of people that even drink alcohol. Yes I enjoy wine, but I don't need it to have a good time and my family would be extremely offended if I even mentioned having alcohol at my wedding. Dry weddings are not for everyone but if that is what you and FH want, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. Your loved ones who want to celebrate your new marriage will celebrate with you all night, whether or not there is alcohol!

Jessica - I'd much rather a free glass of wine than some favor and a photo booth strip that will probably get lost in my purse. Spend your money better. That's silly.

That would be like if I invited you to my house for dinner and gave you a cool silver photo frame as a thank you present but asked you to bring your own drinks.

Jessica, your argument is ridiculous and stupid. Period. You paid for all those things because you CHOSE to have a wedding, not because your guests said you had to. You are almost doing the minimum you SHOULD be doing to properly host your guests.

Having a cash bar is a great way for the alcoholics to go all out, honestly. My cousin is an alcoholic. He went to his sister's wedding which was cash bar. He just opened a tab and sat at the bar until he was too drunk to care, then took over the reception. Other guests left as soon as cake was done, because they were very noticeably annoyed if you're that worried, host beer and wine, which will take an alcoholic with a high tolerance a LOT longer to get drunk on than offering hard liqueur in a cash bar, which will almost certainly result in a tab.

I agree with you Mrscarter. I consider a wedding invite a blessing. The amount of money for drinks shouldn't come into play here.

Wow all that and no free alcohol never go to anything they are hosting again LOL

Cash bars totally suck.

"You are having a cash bar because it's cheaper for you. If you actually cared about the "alcoholics" in your family potentially "ruining" your wedding, you wouldn't have any kind of bar or a bottle of wine at any table."

Wish I could like this a million times, Centerpiece.

It's probably a safe bet that most alcoholics don't let something like paying for a drink serve as a deterrent for drinking.

Jessica, to whom was your reaction directed?

Nobody here sounds like a child. Everyone who has tried to educate you sounds very much like an adult. So, we are hideously rude for telling you the truth, but you are not hideously rude for CHARGING your gift carrying guests for a simple cocktail? Can you show us the math on that one? And, oh, how are you allowing alcoholics to dance around the potions that will destroy them -- if you're truly convinced that they will ruin your wedding? We're cheap? How so? We aren't inviting people to an allegedly fully hosted event featuring elements with "FOR SALE" on them. You're doing that.

Personal attacks....yep, here we go again. It's just a guess, but I'm assuming you're inviting well over 100 people (with a healthy injection of alcoholics included) to your wedding. I am so tired of this repetitive nonsense...