Honeymoon Registry - is it in bad taste?

I have one, so I don't think it is. People "want" to give gifts at weddings, and if already have everything, it gives them a way to do that with the cash they were going to spend anyway on a "tangible". What difference does it make if they give you the 5 bucks they were going to spend on a salt and pepper shaker set in cash so you can actually use it toward something useful?

FH and I have 2 apartments that we're combining... I think we've got our living essentials covered. Paying for the wedding ourselves, it'd be nice to get some help with the honeymoon.

But that's just me.

The problem with honeymoon registries is that they are just the same as giving cash--except that the registry takes some of the money. If you just don't register, people would likely give you cash, and you would get all of it instead of just the part left over after the registry took its cut.

@ STB My thoughts exactly. However I have been told to have a "tangible" registry anyway to avoid duplicate gifts and also to make it easier on our guests. Thanks for the input.

@2d Bride - that is a really good point. I didn't know that they took a cut of the cash just for having a registry. That is something to consider. I will have to talk to the travel agent some more and see exactly what the details are. Thanks again ladies!

I don't think its tacky its smart. Some people might want to just give you money instead of the registry but you can give them that option.

My FH and I were thinking of doing the same thing; we have stuff, and the stuff that we need is unfortunately "big ticket" items--a sofa bed (his brother-in-law lives in another state but has to work here at times, and he often stays at his place and I want to still my future BIL the same option), a queen size bed (he and I only have twin beds), and a dresser. My concern has been the same as yours, Christine V. On one hand, we need those big items, but we know that some in our families can't afford those and they won't want to pool their resources.

I think it makes a lot of sense. i know the sites take a bit of the money, but i see it as a service that is worth paying for because it helps create a registry of what you actually need and want. besides, the dept stores are essentially taking a cut too when they charge obscene amounts for shipping that is clearly more than what the shipping costs. ya'll might like the site www.depositagift.com because it lets you create a registry for anything, be it the honeymoon or any other "big ticket" item that you want contributions for. most people can't afford to pay for an entire couch or mattress, but if you split the cost up into smaller amounts, then they can. personally i think it is helpful for everyone, and much less of a waste of money than spending money, tax and shipping on something you don't want or will return. plus, you can always have a dept store registry of items that you know you definitely want to keep, & this way people have choices.

Christina....If you don't use the head and foot boards, and combine the two twin boxsprings and mattresses, you realize you will have a king-sized bed, right?

I'm doing the same thing, except I'm doing it white envolope so we don't have to use a website. I'll tell my guest insted of registering we just want the gift of our dream honeymoon.

People already have the option of giving you money--you don't need to/shouldn't try to "give them the option."

If you would prefer money, you should just not register elsewhere. Most people will then give money. But I think it IS tacky to straight up say "we want money," and I just don't see a big difference between that and a "honeymoon registry."

There is nothing wrong with doing a honeymoon registry. Just make sure you research where you do your registry. Many guest especially people you invite who can't attend LOVE the convience of being able to do it all online.

I have a honeymoon registry. I used The BigDay.Com

I may be a tad old fashioned, but to me registries are for the engagement party and bridal shower. Most guests give cash or checks for wedding gifts.

As much as I love to travel, and as much as I am going to miss our annual trip to Mexico(because of our DW), I would never have a honeymoon registry.

We're doing a honeymoon registry as well. In my culture, "starter" gifts are given-toaster, crystal, etc. in lieu of money. We just don't need any more things at our age. I'm afraid if I don't give an option, then it'll be left to my guests to figure it out and many returns later. Try to explain your fortunate circumstances on a wedding website while letting your guests know that their presence is truly THE gift.

Thanks ladies! I appreciate the advice. Happy New Year!

@ sailergirl website looks great! Im @ work and cant really look it up much but, is it something I can write a list of things I need and my guests can buy anywhere and clicked that they bought it? That would be awesome. Frankly I'm against gift registry at a store cuz they're not paying you for the promotion and that's not right. SO I think that would be a nice idea to have the guest click on the item they bought

Hi @rosa - the way it works is that you create a list of what you'd like monetary contributions towards. the idea is to be specific without naming the actual brand or store, which we like b/c we don't want to have to make those decisions yet or deal with people sending us stuff that we have no room for now. plus, i like to get a good deal, so this way we'll have the money handy to buy what we like when w see it! so for example, you can say you want a couch or a flat screen and then just break up the cost into smaller give amounts so people can contribute. same thing goes for a honeymoon or anything else.

@myrna - i agree with you. it's really culturally specific. so if you know that your people aren't necessarily cash givers, but you don't want more starter stuff, then this is a great option!

I had a friend of mine do this and I thought it was well a bit tacky ... hello I'm already planning to give you a check for the wedding and spending a huge sum of money on a bridal shower gift, I am not going to pay for your honeymoon (well directly, feel free to use my money for it but still) ... But that's just me and if you like the idea then go with it ...

It really depends on your individual circumstances. From a pure etiquette standpoint it's in bad taste because it's basically a direct request for money which is a no-no. But it's becoming a lot more acceptable so it mostly depends on what your friends and family think. I would ask some people about it in casual conversation to gauge their reactions. If you're the first couple in your social and family circle to do a HR registry and/or giving money is not the custom, you may not want to be the trendsetter.

Well I believe that if a bridal registry is not considered bad taste by your guest then I don't see why putting a honeymoon request instead of a registry is any different. You are putting your request out there on a "normal" registry anyway.

I'd have to disagree that from a pure etiquette perspective it is considered in poor taste. the emily post people say it's fine (her granddaughter is quoted here: http://www.dailyworth.com/blog/541-money-rules-can-the-bride-a-groom-ask-for-cash). but i think you can see from the comments section that acceptance really does vary based on where you're from, what your family does, etc. my thoughts are that if you think registries in general are ok, then any kind of registry should be fine. but as we all know too well, no matter what you do with your wedding, from the gifts to the music to the food, there will be someone who likes it and someone who doesn't, and that's just the reality. so in the end, we're best to find what works for us and be as polite and gracious as possible, knowing full well, that someone will have an opinion about it either way.