Heavy Hor Devours Reception

Ashley, I hope you take all advice written on here into consideration while planning your wedding. I'm going to be honest - you need to be sure you have enough food to fill bellys especially if you're having an open bar. I - personally - would cut the guest list. It's the best way to save money. If that's not the way you want to go you should look into buffet dinner options. Typically (depending on where you live) most buffet options are much less expensive and especially more affordable than your hor dourves idea since most hor dourves are charged per peice.

I went to a wedding last month that had a 2 hour cocktail hour with just over 260 guests. The only food available was a small selection of cheese & crackers and fruits. In 30 minutes it was gone. The dinner wasn't served for another 2 hours after that. Hungry guests = Grumpy guests and people will leave. Yes- your guests want to celebrate the joyest occassion with you and your new husband. [cont....]

But you guests are humans and humans need food. So unless your guests consist of mostly NYC models, you should really put a little more thought into what you will be serving. Oh - and the open bar with no food idea? A guy threw up in the hallway (too much beer- not enough food) and the bride ended up stepping in it.

I like the idea - but it definitely depends on a variety of factors if you can pull it off.

While sometimes or even many times, it may not be cheaper, I think if you DIY it definitely can be. Instead of having servers passing around the items, they can be laid out buffet style.

If you're talking straight up HEAVY hor dourves, and you have enough for everybody, I don't think time will be that big of an issue. Just state that on the invitation so people might get them a little bite before the ceremony. But it's usually enough to fill you up, if you do it right.

Ideas:

cheeseburger sliders

quesidilla bites(small triangles)

potato skins

spanakopita

buffalo chicken balls

fruits

veggies

cheeses

tortilla chips w/ spinach and artichoke dip and rotel dip

club sandwiches

pig in a blankets

turkey pinwheels

stuffed mushrooms(cheese, crab)

pretzel bites

deviled eggs

bruschetta

sausage balls

jalapeno poppers

bacon cheddar scones(or regular ones)

mac & cheese bites

I think a cocktail reception would be a lovely idea, if you change your times. If you are having it during a traditional meal time, no matter what you put on the invitations, or how well informed you think your guests are, people will be hungry. I would also check around & get prices. You may be surprised to see that a small buffet can often be far less expensive. Also, will your appies be a combo of passed and stations/bars? Many venues offer a combo of both passed appies and attended stations. The stations often include a choice of pasta; a taco; a mashed or baked potato; sushi; and/or crab cake bars. A combo of both would work will in this situation.

I think it is awesome you will be having an open bar.

I understand not wanting to change your guest list. Sometimes being a member of a group puts one in a position where you have to invite all or noone. However, as a hostess, it is in your best interest to make sure your guests are well fed when drinking. Good Luck!

I think "Feed your peeps or step in puke," is about the most ringing endorsement I've ever seen of a full meal.

Jamie T...That is an outstanding list of appies and great suggestion!

There is a difference between having a lavish meal and providing your guests with full stomachs; this is common courtesy and imo a safety issue when alcohol is being served..I know the main focus is the couple, but pleeease keep in mind many guests spend money on your gift, travel, maybe taking off work so losing money or vacation that way..if you can fill them up on hor dourves, then that is fine..but it's hard to pull off in a cost effective manner. Hopefully you can find a vendor that will work wtihin your budget. Just crunch the numbers then make your decision. Good luck!

I am having a cocktail reception after my 6:30pm wedding. It's beach side, we except about 50 people, and we expect people to eat before they come.

For the guy who drank so much he puked - dumb.

My suggestion for you is to keep extra crackers/dinner rolls around for people who need something to munch on because they drank too much.

I would move the time too. Either put more time in between wedding and "cocktail reception" so people can go eat, or have the wedding at 7:30.

Seriously people are expected to eat before 6? (if it starts at 6:30 good guests will plan on being there by 6). As far as the puking, do you know how easy it is to puke on an empty stomach with just 1 or 2 beers? Even the most frequent drinker can get sick easily with only 1 or 2 beers if they haven't ate.

DH is a firefighter- I get the mentality of having to invite a larger percentage of the department. However, he really only has to invite his crew, and his chain of command from his station. He may want to invite a few select others that he is close to.

But the same rule applies to guest lists- if you haven't talked to them in a year, they're not invited. If you wouldn't consider having a holiday dinner with them, then you don't need to invite them.

Firefighters drink- heavily. You need FOOD, and I mean food! Heavy apps won't do it. If you don't want to give a full meal, then you need to start much later in the evening- and still have a decent number of appetizers in addition to the cake.

I normally wouldn't recommend this, but you may want to consider a Friday or Sunday wedding to save on location costs so you can afford a decent meal.

And as a firefighter- he can often get discounts by vendors, or use city locations much cheaper...

I agree with what's been said- dont jip your guests on food, they spent a lot of time and money coming out to see you. I've been to 'hors devors only" weddings, and they suck. We all went to get pizza after. If you're worried about the cost try to find a venue that does their own catering, or host at a restaurant- I did a ton of research before our wedding and that is hands down the most affordable way to do a wedding. When you have separate venue and caterers you have separate fees, it adds up.

I'd look into pricing for a very large anti-pasto display, and stations. Mashed potato bar, taco station, pasta station, carving station. Stations might be cheaper and give you a cocktail hour feel.

Thanks Carole! I've done plenty of parties with heavy apps that really give you just as much, if not more, than some light dinners. Especially when it revolves around football games. A small bowl of salad and pasta is nothing compared to 2 cheeseburger sliders, 2 small sandwiches, potatoes, chips & dip, etc.

It's really interesting that it was mentioned to have what you can afford and cut the guest list if need be.

My parents & I can afford cocktail reception. Dad actually picked it all. If he thinks his friends are ok with all that, that's cool. Going to Florida for my wedding is not about what food I'll serve them after our beach reception. It's about being there for ME and FH.

We do plan to feed all our guests dinner the night before the wedding. Half of the 50 coming will be the same resort (it's a time-share) resort as us. Everyone has their own kitchen to make their own food. They'll also already have their own hard liquor if they choose to bring it. (It's not BYOB though.)

You don't know me or the circumstances surrounding my wedding and my financial situation. We don't know the OP either.

And if someone can throw up after 2 beers on an empty stomach, they shouldn't be dumb enough to drink on an empty stomach. I'm 31. I know better.

*stands up and applauds Meghan B.*

I really can't stand this, "It's about ME and FH AND IT'S OUR DAY!" business. If it's all about you, and not about your guests' comfort and enjoyment, then why have guests at all? Get married in Vegas and be done with it.

It just comes down to tradeoffs. Brides want the big fancy evening wedding whether they can afford it or not, and usually cut corners by sloughing expenses off to their guests (cash bar, blech) or skipping essential host responsibilities like providing a full dinner during dinnertime.

Honestly, it screams of "I want things my way whether that's realistic or not." That's no way to go through life, let alone married life.

I guess I am lucky and I was able to throw the wedding I want but if I had a tighter budget food is not the places I would start cutting. I am having guests travel very far and I would never ask them to travel that far and give just them some hor devours and for FH it's not acceptable culturally. If you guests are local I would say it's different but you still shouldn't have it during meal time and yes 6:30pm is meal time.

There are many other areas you can cut besides food.

I have 6 friends traveling to FLorida for the wedding. 6. My MOH is covered by my pocket. My other girlfriend, I've secured a place for her to stay (since only she can travel), my other two married friends are more then delighted to splurge on this travel costs because they get a nice long weekend vacation out of it. And they'd much rather travel to a beachy Florida then St. Louis.

My parents are paying for my brother (who hates me anyway and probably still won't come) and sister to travel. Oh, that's right, they get a 2-week vacation too. FH and I are paying for his mom, twin-bro & sil to travel. And they get a one-week vacation. That's all we want there. If it wasn't so expensive to eat/dine in Vegas, we'd go there.

I'm not a snotty f'n brat. I am paying down debt, live super frugally, and work my butt off like all the brides on here. You read WAY too much into why a cocktail reception WILL work for me.

Ashley there are many options you could do something like a variety of food items in martini glasses. I just did an article about this on my blog http://fancyladies2.blogspot.com/ you could have a mini desert bar and these martini glass Hor Devours but you may find that a meal may be more cost effective. If the bar is the biggest cost, which it generally is, why don't you think of just having a signature drink or two for a portion of the reception and then either just offering champagne for the toast and cutting down to beer and wine or having a cash bar after a certain hour. I'm not the biggest fan of cash bars but if you offer guest your signature drinks first and provide the toasting then most people understand then. When cutting guests is not an option you have to find creative ways to cut costs. You might want to consider hiring a wedding planner as I can say they can generally help you with budget constraints and save you more than what you pay for them in the long run.

Hors d'oeuvres should be a style choice, not a budget choice, because it won't be a budget choice unless you really skimp on food and service. Cutting your guest list not only saves on food but favors, flowers, invites and everything else right down the line.

Personally? I'd rather have a great party for my 50 closest friends and family than invite 200 guests who are mostly disgruntled and feel slighted and starved.

I was a caterer for almost 20 years, and I liked to think I spent my couples' money wisely. Inviting a large group that includes a lot of hungry guys and feeding them hors d'oeuvres at dinner hour is not the way I'd spend my available dollars. Even if they are tipped off in the invitation, they won't be happy about it.

Under promise; over deliver.......

Alot of people look at this as a way to save money! in alot of ways it costs more money to host an sucessful event like this! Always check with your cater to see if its a piece count and wha they recomend the count being and do they actually count them or is it aproximation. Then once you find that out you almost need to double it per person if its during a Eating time ( ie. Lunch or dinner)

If anyone needs further advice dont hesitate to contact me I would love to share my insights on these with 15 yrs experience.

It can be done if its done right!