Heavy Hor Devours Reception

Not a fan of Heavy hor dourves at all! I like small plates with a bunch of different stations: pasta, asian, carving station, but this can still be costly, it's cute and can fill you up. Tell your guests it's a celebration of nuptials vs. a wedding. Late evening may be better.

If people are spending hundreds travel you have to feed them. re-evaluate the things you need versus your want. cut the alcohol if necessary. At my wedding at we served soda, beer, wine and 2 signature drinks and to be honest everybody was happy!!!!!! I don't even remember drinking any of it. They still were drunk!

I agree with Celia, I had 50 people at my wedding and it was beautiful everybody had a blast.

You can cut the cocktail hour and server dinner???

Ashley don't stress dear. There are ways around this. There are ways to cut costs but also have a very elegant wedding and reception. If cutting guests is not an option (which I completely understand why) try the things I suggested. If you need help contact me I have a good amount of experience with these budget constraints and would be willing to point you in the right direction.

I'm sorry I have been calling you Ashley as this shows as the person who posts this. But Meghan I am so sorry that everyone has been jumping you. I am a wedding planner doing what you are asking can be tricky but if done right then it will be fine.I am appalled at how you have been treated by the people posting. She is a bride and she is just asking what others think. She does not need someone telling her she is a f"ing snotty brat. How in any way is that helping. I am offering my help here. I would be willing to help you get on the right track because I can't stand all this beat up on the poor bride going on here. Contact me I will help.

My friend served a champagne punch in stead of alcohol and served Garrett's popcorn as a light snack (bc the groom was from Chicago) and a full plated dinner. she had 350people.

Okay so after reading ALL the posts my heart really goes out to both Ashley P. and Meghan R. I was so confused because people began jumping on Meghan R. so heavily that I didn't realize she wasn't the original poster but someone who was giving her own suggestions as well. So once again I say you can do this if done right nobody will even notice that they didn't get a full on sit down meal. Keep your reception moving consider filling items like a taco bar a mashed potato bar a fruit bar etc. And for those of you calling people snotty brats that is just rude and very unprofessional. I am shocked and hurt for these two ladies who clearly only needed some help and advice. If either one of you contact me about this I will be glad to help get you in the right direction free of charge.

I feel/felt really beat up over this thread this evening. My FH had to calm me down that we are doing the right thing with our cash funds. We can't afford a fancy St. Louis reception with our 14 aunts and uncles. My mother, father, and the entire book club agreed that my wedding/cocktail is a-ok.

On that note, I'm done being beat up by this forum. This was hard to take. You were very mean to assume that I'm doing cocktails to be cheap and that I don't think of everything/everyone.

My mom asked if we would have a gift table at the beach. I asked her why we needed one because I don't/didn't actually expect anyone to get us a gift. I hadn't even registered at that point. I'm now only registered so if people want to, they can purchase a gift, and later, I can buy those items at a discount.

The OP stated that "Dinner is not popular". Ashley, why is that?

What have the other weddings in your area been like?

I would recommend changing the open bar to beer/wine and a signature drink and then maybe increasing the appetizers. Yes, they can be more expensive so start looking around.

I would recommend you evaluate your budget and decide where you want to put your money. It's your money. You also don't have to expect gifts. You can write "no-gifts" and feed your guests a mint. If I came to your wedding I might feel a little slighted (if the invitation didn't state "Mint Reception"), but I'd move on. Because I didn't come to your wedding to get drunk and eat dinner. I came to see you get married.

I just wouldn't recommend inviting some of the people on this forum.

Meghan - sorry you had to experience that. Not all of us here are horrid. =)

We also had a beach wedding. Our family and few friends who were there cooked the reception food - which a lot of the same people putting down your choice here have said negative things about. But you know what? We had lobster and some of the best grilled salmon and shrimp imaginable. I bet those people certainly didn't have that... so maybe they should step back & stop judging.

I agree with Fancy Lady, if either of you want any other friendly well-meaning advice, I'm here.

I agree!!! if you guys are gonna be hateful like that you should probably just take it on over to theknot.com forums!!

I guess I'm just lucky (along with many other posters on here who are cutting food costs) that my family and friends are not so stuck up that they feel like I should provide a 5-course dinner for them. I'm pretty sure that my mom is so happy to see her daughter getting married that she doesn't mind making a potluck item. I'm going to have paper plates for people to eat off of, is that a problem, too?

From my experience, everyone wants to contribute to the wedding somehow, but I can't make every guest into a bridesmaid or best man. What better way to ask them to contribute then to bring some food, made with love and thoughts of this soon-to-be-married couple. Personally, if anyone complains about the potluck, I'll likely tell them that I don't expect them to attend. If someone can't bring a dish, then of course they will still be welcomed to eat and enjoy everything. The wedding isn't all about me, it's about our love, our families coming together and everyone gathering to (cont)

Celebrate, meet each other and have a good time. I never expected my FH to take me out to 5-star restaurants while we were dating, our relationship isn't about money and I don't need a $25,000 wedding (the average cost of an american wedding) to feel special. In fact, if I thought the wedding was "all about me" I would insist on these things!

I went to a beautiful potluck wedding last year, not everyone contributed but no one cared- there was food leftover and everyone was full. Many guests pulled out their best recipes and prepared those, they were proud to present there food and many asked the couple to freeze the leftovers and not cook for the next month!

So for all the off hand comments about how pissed YOU would be if you had to make your own pancakes or bring a potluck dish, or god forbid that you have to eat a meal before 6 pm and pay for it yourself; you are not they type of person I would invite to my wedding.

Each to his own pancake. But I'd send a gift and stay home.

You should compare prices! Heavy appetizers at my venue cost just as much as a sit down dinner/buffet and it would add up to more because you need to serve more.

Ok, hold on. The way Meghan and y'all are reacting here, you'd think someone came to her house and shot her puppy. I think a little perspective is in order here.

I'm sorry you were shocked and hurt, but, seriously, it's the Internet, not "Cuddle Time Everyone Gets Love Hour."

And this is all way off track from the original conversation. I hate when brides on here get all defensive and then just invent mean-spirited things to say about other posters, all in the name of being "supportive" and "nice." I've noticed that no matter what Glenn or I say, some posters will just blow right past it, invent a position for us out of the whole cloth, and go on the attack. So those of you who complain the most about "bullying" on here should start with a good long look in the mirror.

Jamie, specifically, I don't think ANYONE who said serving a full meal is the correct and courteous thing to do said that the meal had to be five courses and extravagant. In fact, all of us said quite the opposite! Serve a proper meal so guests aren't hungry and grumpy, but it doesn't have to be elegant or expensive. A few even suggested barbecue.

So disagree all you want, but please stop making it some silly class warfare thing. I had about a quarter of my region's average wedding budget to spend, I planned wisely and was still able to serve dinner.

What's really funny Shannon is when my FW posts and gets yelled at for being mean (she doesn't know how to be mean) because we have to have the same avatar.

Just an FYI to all ~

The ceremony is about the bride and groom

The reception is about the guests that came to celebrate the bride and groom. You are hosting a party. Treat your guests as you would want to be treated. You don't have a reception where you are the only two people there and therefore, you and your spouse are not the only ones who matter. You have a reception for all of your family and friends who have supported your relationship throughout the years. They are just as important on this day as you are. Just keep that in mind when planning the reception. When you're planning, think to yourself, "How would I feel if I were going to a party and this is how I was treated?" If you wouldn't take offense, go for it.

And yes, guests come to a reception expecting to eat and dance. That is typically what receptions consist of. Eating, drinking, dancing with a few wedding formalities thrown into the evening. But your guests come and want to enjoy themselves. Cont...

Who wants to go to a party and feel like they don't matter? They wonder why they were even invited to begin with. Trust me, nobody wants to go to a reception just to watch the bride and groom kiss each other twenty thousand times, or to watch the garter/bouquet toss, or to watch the cake cutting. Those things are for the bride and groom. The food, the drinks, the music, those are why the guests look forward to wedding receptions. That is your way of appreciating them and showing them that you care about them just as much as they do you.

Sorry, I'm going to have to agree with everything Shannon and Glenn just said. They could tell you "I love the dress, I just think you should add a sash" and that's automatically taken as a negative, mean, bullying comment because people look for the worst with them.

And I wish I could "like" Glenn's comment a million times, because its true. Even when his FW comments, and says something nice, she still ends up getting attacked because people assume it's Glenn.

And just so you guys know, I read through this entire thread this morning and I think everyone is overracting. Like Shannon said, not ONE time, did someone tell the OP, or Meghan, that she was to have an elaborate 5 course meal. In fact, people said a few times that that's not what they meant, someone even mentioned BBQ.

I'm from the south. We had potato salad, BBQ, some veggies, crab dip, chicken, and some other odds and ends. And some amazing desserts. Did it cost a lot? No. Was it elaborate? Heck No..