Heavy Hor Devours Reception

If you're going to do heavy hors d'eouvres I think you should move your start time back so that you start your ceremony at like 6:30. You're time puts you right in the middle of dinner time and if you aren't serving dinner your guests will be starving.

I think if you state in on the invite, then you're good. I would also go with Raes comment and suggest starting everything later-6:30/7

I would start later since that is dinner time for many people (granted I live in NYC and no one eats before 8pm...). You have to take into account travel time and people getting ready. I wouldn't start the ceremony before 7 and really 7:30 or 8:00pm would be better.

It's good to put this in the invite; but either do it later or earlier ; don't do it at dinner time or they will be starving. Why is the reception starting an hour later anyway?

If you have the ceremony at 2-2:30 then your reception could start at 3:00; it's a nice abstract hour and no one would expect dinner.

Ditto if you had your ceremony at 7:30-8:00 and then cocktails at 8:30.

Get several quotes from catering companies before you decide on a time. In most cases, heavy hor'devours can actually be more expensive then a simple dinner buffet (2 meats, 3 sides, etc). The caterer has to bring in more of a variety, which ends up being more labor intensive. You could spend $2-$3 per piece on appetizers vs. $15 for a simple buffet.

Here is one moe suggestion: consider a private ceremony (just immediate family and very close friends), because no matter how you work it, your ceremony will be during dinner time. The less people you have at your ceremony, the less people that are pissed because they aren't getting dinner served to them. And, your immediate family will understand Then start your reception at 8:30. As long as you include something on the invite, people will get the point.

I have been to this type of reception and the invite said.... "Cocktail" reception. I was full when I left.... I am considering doing the same type of reception

We're doing a potluck wedding, I highly recommend this to anyone trying to cut costs on food! But there are a lot of other ways to cut costs too, I've thought of doing a breakfast for dinner type of thing and setting up skillets on each table, pancake mix and things like fruit to go in the pancakes, and let everyone make there own! You could also serve sandwiches, or pastas like chicken Alfredo are considered to be somewhat of a fancy picking, but you can make it yourself beforehand for really cheap (and it's easy!) and find a way to heat it up for dinner (it's also easy to make a vegetarian version so that all guests are happy). My sister found a community room to use for her reception, it had a kitchen in it so they had fancy looking finger foods from Sams Club in the oven during the ceremony.

I would definetly start calling catering companies and getting some quotes before settling. You would be surprised on how low it can be for a buffet style dinner. Check out American Legions, and smaller banquet halls, they usually offer great deals!

I have to say that if I had to go into a wedding and make my own pancakes....well.....I'd be disappointed. If you're trying to cut costs on food, cut your guest list. PERIOD.

I love the cocktail party idea if it's a style choice; having been a caterer for many years, I can tell you that it's not less expensive than a well chosen buffet. You need significant staff to pass enough hors d'oeuvres fast enough for people to be satisfied, where with a simple buffet, people could theoretically serve themselves with a few staff to keep things replenished and cleaned up.

Thanks for the help everyone. I really like the start at 630 idea. and I guess the cost is not really coming from food but more or less the bar. The place I'm looking at is only 4 hour package and after 4 hours it goes up ALOT!

Also I am NOT going to cut guests Celia. That's a horrid idea...everyone who is already on my list will stay. And my list keeps growing because my fiance is firefighter so a lot of firefighters are invited from both of his departments. So that's not an option.

Also the reception being an hour or two after the ceremony is very very normal around here, its so that the wedding party can go take pictures and such forth.

Jennifer, Nicole, and KKCB I really liked all your advice/opinions...thanks! Also same to Carrie and bluedaisy...thanks. It really helps especially the traveling to our event. I'm still thinking of what option..don't know yet what to do.

I too will be having a cocktail reception with my ceremony beginning at 2:00pm SHARP and reception following approximately 30-45 minutes after the "I do's" etc. My wedding is on a Sunday and I am taking in consideration that individuals will go to work on Monday plus my guest are family and close friends with no more than 50 expected to attend. I will put this on the individual as well as tell individuals about my reception style. I know of some guests that are big eaters and looking forward to a big meal but this is not what our wedding day is about...its about US, not breaking our budget to have a lavish meal for others. IJS

We will have a champagne toast (no open bar) with additional champagne available (no other alcohol). I am still working on the schedule but the reception should end about 6pm. Again, I am working with a way smaller guest list than you are but remember it can be done...just plan out all the details.

Best of luck and congrats!

Alison...thanks for the words of encouragement. I TOTALLY Agree our wedding day is NOT about people getting a lavish meal... I feel like that's all that people care about now days...so thanks! I totally agree. Congrats to you too!

I had this- we had passed hors d'eouvres- mini burgers, lobster and crab cakes, bruschetta, and cornbread stuffed with chili. We also had a chef-attended pasta bar, and an ice cream sundae station for dessert. We started our reception at 3pm and our invtations stated "light refreshments to be served" (even though people left full!)It was incredibly good, but I really don't think it saved us much money.

Please don't go the potluck route- I am not someone who is stuck on etiquette, but asking your guests to bring food to your wedding reception is straight up rude.

For starters, heavy hor d'eourves are actually often more expensive than a meal. With a meal, the caterer is making the same thing over and over and can make large batches. It's less labor intensive than making multiple hor d'eourves, and requires larger quantities of the same ingredient. Having a meal doesn't mean a lavish meal... you can do bbq, or simple chicken dishes. It doesn't have to be lobster thermador with individual pot pies, with a filet mignon medallion on the side. It can be simple, and served buffet style.

And if you're going to do hor d'eourves instead of a meal, you need to have your reception at a time other than mealtime. The ceremony has to start after 7:30 in an evening, or be in the afternoon, with the reception over no later than 6pm.

We had heavy hors deourves and it was really a meal - something that I have seen is often the case. A wedding I was in last month served them and the choices were pasta with different sauces, mixed veggies, mini pizzas, sausage bites in barbecue sauce, fruit trays and some kind of fish thing that I don't remember because I don't eat fish

Overall, it was more than enough for dinner, and no one went away hungry.

"Also I am NOT going to cut guests Celia. That's a horrid idea...everyone who is already on my list will stay. And my list keeps growing because my fiance is firefighter so a lot of firefighters are invited from both of his departments. So that's not an option"

Aside from being quite a rude thing to say to Celia, it's just plain unwise. OK, so let's invite everyone we've ever met, and give them half a scrap of a breath mint each? Er, no. Have the wedding you can afford, with the number of guests that you can reasonably manage within your budget.

If I went to a wedding with a ton of people there, but just a few appetizers to snack on, I'd be miffed. I'd feel like I was just there to make the room seem busier. If you can't provide a respectable amount of food, then cut your list. Random Firefighter #4 will get over it.

I think at this point you really need pricing. You need to figure out what your total food budget is as well as your total guest list so that you have $$ amounts to bring to the caterers. You may find that a normal cocktail hour, plated dinner and cake for dessert is your best price option, or perhaps an italian buffet. I agree with other posters that often a heavy appetizer reception is not the cheapest option.

You don't have to serve a "lavish" meal. You do however need to make sure your guests don't leave hungrier than they came. Just think about it from a guest perspective. Would you be okay attending an evening wedding and then only receiving a few bites of finger food or would you expect more?

Just for the record people DO go to weddings for the food and the booze.

Fins, I go to weddings to gawp and bask in the glow of the ALL-IMPORTANT BRIDE. My rumbling tummy just reminds me of the beating of two lovers' hearts.